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OUR THOUGHTS: Quirky lead character Jen is surprisingly grounded and likable, making this film, and ruse, much more enjoyable. And our leading man is none other than Holiday King Brant Daughtery, always great to see him. We love this movie's foray into the world of social media hashtags, and the struggle so many entrepreneurs face with gaining any traction online. We even felt Jen's overnight blow-up was within the realm of reason, making this film all that more relatable. It is bizarre that she pretends her nephew is her baby, because I could never. And we were very confused by how non-hygge all the "hygge" stuff was meant to be, but hey, we can't all be Scandinavian designers. Jen's self-esteem problem gets very annoying by the time her conflict reaches it's peak, so we were pretty much over her by the end. BUT the movie overall is sweet, has enough Christmas to keep you feeling holly, but is not one overflowing with cheer.
#XMAS (2022)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A designer lies about having a husband and baby to win a holiday social media campaign with a major design brand to save her design company.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Amy Smart reaches the height of her career in her second best Christmas film to date (the first being JUST FRIENDS). She has an awful date with seemingly the worst guy ever, who is suspiciously handsome to just be the bad guy in this enemies-to-lovers story, on Christmas Eve...only to wake up for twelve straight days to relive that fateful Christmas Eve, giving her twelve chances to redo the date, and get to know Mr. Wrong a bit better. Essentially it shows us maybe it takes more than one date to know if someone is the love of your life. Pro Tip: It also takes more than twelve dates to know if someone is the love of your life.
12 DATES OF CHRISTMAS (2011)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Woman gets twelve chances to fall in love with a date on Christmas Eve.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Daria, our favorite cynical teenager, finally got the Christmas movie she deserves! Or at least, that was my first thought when I saw the green coat, bangs, and chunky glasses on leading lady Lucy in this flick. And I really hoped, given career-driven and seemingly emotionally unattached divorce lawyer Lucy's cold heart in the first few beats of the movie, that perhaps we WERE getting a Daria Christmas, after all! But, not quite. This is a very magical time travel holiday movie--and I applaud anyone willing to venture into the time travel story traps without completely losing the plot. The story trap in this flick was whether or not Lucy would change the past, and therefore alter her entire life/future, or would she learn from the past then go back to the present and make changes for her future. This film chose the less logical former, meaning in a single kiss, Lucy gained a whole new 20 years of life experiences, memories, and oh, two babies. I think it's weird to inherit a new life in the blink of an eye as opposed to actually living that life, but like I said, it's a story trap. And the movie does a good job of keeping you guessing just HOW she'll change her present (future?) self. Overall, the movie was fine, but I wished there had been more 90's nostalgia. If that's what you're looking for, might I recommend the first ten minutes of JUST FRIENDS?
90's Christmas, A (2024)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Lawyer Lucy time travels back to the 1990's at a chance for a life do-over, but will she risk her dream career on a childhood sweetheart? It's Hallmark, so the answer is...yes. Duh.
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OUR THOUGHTS: You guys, I hate the singer/songwriter holiday movies. They are so cringe. But this one, overall, wasn't so terrible. It had enough small town Christmas cheer, with real snow and wintery scenes, to make up for all the random "writing songs in a barn with adorable pigs" scenes. We also get to see Hallmark's attempt at warming up its geriatric audience to the idea of apps--and it goes over OK in this one!
All I Need For Christmas
(2024)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Singer-songwriter Maggie's tour is cancelled, forcing her to spend the holidays at home, where she strikes up an unlikely friendship with an app designer whose parents never loved him.
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OUR THOUGHTS: As the second of four daughters, the all-girls families always win me over--and the Kings are no exception. Led by dad Lincoln (played by the indomitable Bebe Winans) Gracie, Abigail, and Lydia couldn't be more different, and this movie introduces us to them when they've drifted apart after their Mom's death. I really loved the sisterhood in this movie, but each sister's individual love story was kind of meh. Lydia is married to high school sweetheart Mike, who is seriously obsessed with having a baby, even though Lydia may not be ready/want one right now. Then Abigail's new fling, Sean, is obviously just using Abigail to get to musician Lincoln, who Sean is actually in love with. And finally Gracie, the doctor daughter, falls in love with the guy who almost ran their dad over with his car--but she falls in love with him, like, thirty seconds after meeting him. The family unit and set up of the Christmas scavenger hunt was a really nice A-story, but beyond that the film kind of lost the plot. BUT I did love setting the film in Bebe's home of greater Detroit, the throw to the Flint water crisis, and the very silly joke that three adult sisters could be happy with just ONE bottle of wine. So so funny.
BEBE WINANS' WE THREE
KINGS (2024)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Three sisters are brought together at Christmas after their Dad slips and falls--and they must follow a trail of clues to get their Christmas presents.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Wow, this charmer is an instant Christmas classic! Set at the gorgeous Biltmore Estate in the mountains of North Carolina, this movie is a whirlwind of our favorite things: old Hollywood glamour, Christmas, and the perfect dose of time travel magic! We love that the romance is not the story's driving objective. The leading lady's time in the past brings up the always-constant catch-22 of time travel: will her being in the past derail the present? BUT it is cleverly handled and it turns out her presence was what made the future what it is today. This is a cozy Christmas watch with an intriguing storyline that clips along at a good pace and will keep you watching until the end. Although, we are all really curious what happens with the movie's romance after that final scene...
BILTMORE CHRISTMAS, A (2023)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A christmas movie writer gets trapped in the past after time-traveling to the set of the 1947 Christmas film she is trying to rewrite, and it's all happening at the historic beacon of wealth inequality, Biltmore Estate.
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OUR THOUGHTS: We appreciate this inventive, adult take on the family Christmas movie. We've got drug dealers, people living under a bridge, romance, an owl, orphans, and a well-intending uncle who breaks out of prison. Feels more like it was written as a TV series and not a movie--several standalone narratives with independent Acts 1, 2, and 3 that sort of come together...but not really. Even if you buy into the ridiculousness of this Binge world, you're still left scratching your head at the end like, wait, what the fuck did I just watch? Which is maybe the point?
BINGE, THE (2022)
SYNOPSIS: Parody of THE PURGE, a town celebrates the only day of the year they can get high/drunk/fucked up: Christmas. And things get wild.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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BOY CALLED CHRISTMAS, A (2021)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A boy who rarely eats finds a hidden elf town, he restores hope in elf town and his human town, as well.
OUR THOUGHTS: Beautiful production design, very whimsical and escapist, but story suffers a bit. They really cheapen out on summating the hero's journey. They're like, oh, this kidnapped elf is alive. So, hope is alive! And that's it. Like all of a sudden everyone who is evil isn't evil because...of hope? Visually great for kids or if you're high.
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BOYFRIENDS OF CHRISTMAS PAST (2021)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Laura is paid visits by "ghosts" of her past boyfriends, who take her through her romantic history to teach her a lesson about love and Christmas.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie opens with a Kelly Clarkson Christmas song, and delivers non-stop Jingle Jollies from there. We've got an overworked marketing executive with a big pitch ON Christmas Eve. We've got orphans. We've got best friends who are in love with each other but don't know it. We've got an absent Mom who abandoned her family. And then we've got a real Dickensian arc with "ghosts," or memories stuck in time, of boyfriends past, who visit our marketing exec in her dreams to teach her a lesson about her relationships, before she misses out on one that really matters. It does drag on a bit in the middle with no real big action, but stick with it because it is a good pay off!
OUR THOUGHTS: Set against rustic Northern California farms and in a town where everyone is at minimum a 7, this movie turned out to be a fan favorite DESPITE not having any of the charm of a snowy, white Christmas in which most holiday romances are set. But other than snowflakes, this film has all the Jingle Jollies we look for: the evil city vs. the morally just country folk, a hero fighting his corrupt and evil ways because of a country girl who steals his heart, a jealous neighbor with weird hair, and the heartbroken girl recovering from the death of her ex. It seems she could never love again, until...OH, and the family property is at risk, as big city developers are looking to swoop it up. Also her Mom is dying. But even with all this, it only comes in at 2.5 stars, mostly because both of our main characters have very weak chins. And look like siblings.
SYNOPSIS: A big city slicker poses as a ranch hand to try and buy a family vineyard from a super hot country chick who is also super sad because everyone she loves died in front of her.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
CALIFORNIA CHRISTMAS, A (2020)
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OUR THOUGHTS: REVIEW TBD--have not been able to force ourselves to sit through this one yet. Need more wine.
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CALIFORNIA CHRISTMAS: CITY LIGHTS, A (2021)
SYNOPSIS: More chinless romance.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: This is the SECOND camp-centric Christmas film starring Corbin Bleu, and unfortunately it is not the better of the two. We appreicate the valient effort of making a quality "Christmas in July" movie, but this movie gives us all the worst parts of camp--aka, the super fucking weird, socially challenged kids who turn into adults that cannot breathe a single breath without mentioning summer camp. You know who I'm talking about, and you have to watch them this entire movie--you also have to listen to how they're still heartbroken over the ending of their teenage relationship ten years ago...? They are WORSE than the idiots who peaked in high school: they peaked at SUMMER CAMP. And the only potentially redeeming element of this flat romance was the sequin-adorned gay love story between a broadway star and a budding actor, but even their kiss was cock-blocked by a smoke machine.
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CAMPFIRE CHRISTMAS (2022)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: A bunch of weird camp kids who became camp adults must celebrate their final "Christmas In July" at camp, a lifelong tradition.
OUR THOUGHTS: This is a cute little rom-com, although at times it doesn't feel the most Christmas-y. The leading actor is like a quirkier Penn Badgley but without all the murdering that happens in YOU, which feels like a win. The chemistry between our two ingenues could be stronger, but there is authentic push and pull for our leading lady's stakes regarding the future of her political career. What we DO love about this flick is that you genuinely don't know who is going to win the mayoral race until it is actually announced, making for a great throughline that keeps you watching. This is definitely a good one to watch when you're longing for a high-school-crush-gets-a-second-chance, but it isn't necessarily a MUST WATCH.
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CANDY CANE CANDIDATE (2023)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: After losing a City Council election in Boston, Julia heads to her quaint hometown for the holidays, where she signs up for the mayoral race so her high school frenemy Parker doesn't run for mayor unopposed. She also lost high school class president election to him, so seems Julia has a pattern of not winning...great.
OUR THOUGHTS: Eddie Murphy's first holiday film does NOT disappoint! There is a lot of magical realism happening in this flick, so you really need to put on your "imagination" cap and let yourself buy into the magical rules of this film, otherwise you will get very annoyed, very quickly. The film feels a bit busy and disconnected at times, as it tries to build stakes for each individual member of Chris's (Eddie's) family. For the most part, all loose ends are tied up by the ending, but because we are following so many people, it's hard to feel very invested in any of them other than Chris, our lead. That aside, we have stellar performances from Tracee Ellis Ross, Jillian Bell, Ken Marino, and bit parts from Nick Offerman, Robin Theade, and Timothy Simons. The standout star for me was Danielle Pinnock, the festive news anchor Kit. I don't know if it beats Netflix's Jingle Jangle or Apple's Spirited, but Amazon has definitely made a bold step into the streamer Christmas movies with this one.
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CANDY CANE LANE (2023)
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A Dad trying to win a neighborhood Christmas contest unwittingly makes a deal with the devil elf (basically), and he must complete an insane quest before Christmas--or his life as he knows it will be over!
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OUR THOUGHTS: With a guest appearance from Pioneer Woman Ree Drummond, this movie delivers on the family business and hometown vibe we love to see in made-for-TV Christmas movies. Molly, the main chick, is looking to cash in on her family's property and mint business to fund her own venture back in the big city. BUT it turns out a super hot mint farmer is currently overseeing the farm and proves an obstacle in Molly's plan to cash in on privilege/generational wealth instead of selling her eggs like everyone else has to do.
CANDY COATED CHRISTMAS (2021)
SYNOPSIS: An annoying big city rich girl tries to sell her family mint farm, but a hot mint farmer--and the magic of Christmas--may stop her.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A rich woman has a bunch of people she hates over for Christmas to pretend like she is going to give them a Christmas Diamond, then not give them the diamond, and then one of them steals the diamond.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Woooooooooow this is awful. Like, enjoyably awful? If you are really drunk or so sad you're delirious, you may like this film! But if you're a normal person with an ounce of education, or who has ever seen another movie and therefore has something to compare this to, you will not like this film. We have an alcoholic teenager, the missing (and least successful) Baldwin brother, baby daddy secrets exposed, a woman who keeps saying "three holes, three holes!" and a gambling-addicted son who could honestly be anywhere from 19 to 44 years old, we are not sure. Mostly everyone is wealthy, but the poors are constantly reminded of being poor by the wealthy. The main poor, Andy, tries to solve the mystery of who stole the diamond to exonerate herself, because all the wealthies think she stole it because she is poor. By means to reveal the true plot of the theft, Andy reveals several uncomfortable family traumas no one was quite ready to discuss, let alone begin healing. It. Is. Wild.
CASE OF THE CHRISTMAS DIAMOND (2022)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
SYNOPSIS: The most annoying girl in your hometown gets a big break on Broadway, and must prepare a duet with a crotchety fellow failing artist at an off-broadway diner.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Hallmark is really cashing on on those Public Domain Christmas songs in this one--hooray for fair use! While we love the singing and Christmas-in-New York, this film is pretty flimsy as far as story goes. There's a fake relationship with a neighbor, then a forced bad relationship with a roommate, and the only reason they exist is to create romantic tension and stakes for our leading enemies-to-lovers pair. Then there's an entire story going on about our leading lady lying to her Dad about not really being in a Broadway play, and that she would disappoint her entire small town if they ever find out her play got cancelled...it all feels...like even for made-for-TV, it feels pretty weak. However, the film’s salvation is its hearty dose of festive vibes, AND we get a fun show tune-y holiday song with original "Who Knew It'd Be You This Christmas."
CAROL FOR TWO, A (2024)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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CASTLE FOR CHRISTMAS, A (2021)
SYNOPSIS: divorcee author wants to buy castle with family history
OUR THOUGHTS: Cary Elwes, the Wesley of our childhood dreams, is back--and in a kilt! AS YOU CHRISTMAS WISH! Princess Bride nods aside, Scotland is quite the setting for a Christmas flick (and a popular one--Merry Scottish Christmas and Saving Christmas Spirit both take us to the land of Outlander). For the most part this is a run-of-the-mill bad holiday romance, but you get Scotland mixed in which is fun. It isn't the worst of the Scottish Christmas flicks we've seen, definitely not the best.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is a brave attempt to combine holiday romance with action-comedy flicks, and we really applaud the attempt. While it never felt like anyone was TRULY in danger, or anything was REALLY at stake, it tried to get there, which we appreciate. The actual storyline of the political corruption behind the Santa Crook burglaries was really confusing, and the pay-off of Avery busting the case wide open on air was a lackluster moment that made it feel as though most of our happy ending had been cut for time. We liked the chemistry between our two romantic leads, but yearned for more Christmas whimsy in a movie with a REAL Santa Claus. All in all, this movie bit off A LOT--trying to live up to your parents' expectations, career in trouble, brewing romance, mistaken identity, political crimes, solving a mystery--and as a result it felt bumpy and disconnected in some points and as such struggles to keep your attention. Overall, though, a fun watch and good for holiday vibes!
CATCH ME IF YOU CLAUS (2023)
SYNOPSIS: Broadcast Journalist Avery tries to solve the case of the "Santa Crook" but discovers the hot man dressed as Santa is THE REAL Father (or son of Father) Christmas, and the two work together to get to the bottom of a political crime spree.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A shitty hockey player is assigned to a minor league team in the same town as a successful real estate agent that is way out of his league (because he's in the minors, remember?), whose family weirdly brings him into the fold for Christmas because he has Daddy issues.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Christmas and Hockey go together like alcohol and sadness, so we were definitely checked into this flick--and not just for the studly, emotionally-challenged hockey player. For the most part, nothing in this movie felt groundbreaking or original, starting with a credit card mix-up at the airport and ending with our leading lady, Ashley, potentially sabotaging her entire career by not going home to New York to show one building. Like, she could have been back in Idaho within 48 hours. I don't understand...whatever. We did feel like this was more hockey than Christmas, but there's still plenty of family holiday vibes to keep you happy.
CHECKIN' IT TWICE (2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Margot inherits a massive British manor from a dead aunt she never knew (classic) and must spend a week there getting to know the townies. She follows rhyming clues from said dead aunt to find the secret to saving the manor!
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OUR THOUGHTS: Wowie zowie. We've got a dead aunt AND a dead dad, an inherited British estate, and a scavenger hunt with rhyming riddles! Our leading lady, Margot, is a bad ass property developer from NYC, and the leading man is some grungy British guy who makes fancy juice in someone else's barn. There were times this movie didn't feel very Christmas-y, but there were some quintessential holiday scenes like cutting down the Christmas tree. The film overall was very soft, and felt a lot more Hallmark circa 2006 than Lifetime. There wasn't enough of the scavenger hunt to act as a throughline, and its absence made the movie feel like a string of almost-Christmas-feeling beats, not a connected story that anyone really cares about. It was slow, a bit boring, but with enough moments of "oh, is it getting good?" to keep me watching. This definitely is a vibe if you're into slow, boring British type things. But, if you're anything like me, and happen to need constant holiday stimulation with a lot of lights and magic, you can probably skip this one.
CHRISTMAS AT PLUMHILL
MANOR (2024)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: A normal worker at a book publisher tries to exploit her Amish family's bakery by pitching an Amish cookbook, and goes home for Christmas to convince her Amish family to totally sell out and give englishmen their sourdough starter.
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OUR THOUGHTS: We typically stay away from over-preachy, Jesus-y movies, but when we heard UPTV was doing an Amish Christmas movie, we knew we HAD to watch it. Growing up, I (Anna) loved the Amish folk, mostly because I didn't know about cults or coercive control or the importance of critical thinking or the problems with inbreeding...I didn't know a lot. The good news is, neither do the characters in this movie, keeping it sweet, innocent, and perfect if you're looking to escape to a simpler time. Now, there is much more focus on Amish and baking than on Christmas, but there is an abundance of wreaths and flannel. This movie is as painful as it is wonderful, with constant music, a dramatic boss in the big city who should reconsider acting altogether, and a dad who grunt-moans about as much as he talks. We've got a family farm, a family business at risk, a dead mom, a dead wife, a hot single dad, and a literal baby in a manger. If that's not enough Jingle Jollies for ya, then get out of my office! On top of all that we've got the Amish simplicity that hearkens to Christmases of years gone by--you know, the years of oppression and rampant syphilis. We love the Amish, baked goods, and Christmas, so this one really hit our sweet spot. However, if you want to watch a good movie, maybe pick something else...
CHRISTMAS AT THE AMISH
BAKERY (2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Honestly...it's hard to find something about this movie to root for. And we REALLY wanted to like it! From Teri Hatcher's cringey social media posts to her obnoxious attempt at a can-do attitude, her character really wants us to like her...and there were some moments when she almost won us over! But, alas, she just came off as an out-of-touch, privileged, elite Mom who had some weird Oedipus-esque relationship with her son. This film tried to bring us poors into the luxurious world of ski trips and European wine, but really only isolated its characters and made the setting feel trite, like this is what a person who has never been to a five-star chalet would expect a five-star chalet to be like. Any way, the whole thing was weird, do not recommend. Please send back to Santa, and give us Julianne Moore--the housewife we deserve!
SYNOPSIS: A Mom heads to an upscale Aspen ski resort to bond with her son, but finds herself working at a chalet and caught in a love triangle (square?) with her ex-husband.
CHRISTMAS AT THE CHALET
(2023)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
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OUR THOUGHTS: It truly is the Chinese restaurants that do the lord's work during the holiday season, and this movie delivers a long overdue celebration of these restaurant angels. It also celebrates the importance of family and community--but more importantly, crab rangoon. We mainly follow Romy, who grew up spending the holidays working at her parents' restaurant, The Golden Dragon. In her hometown of Wichita, KS, it was the only place open on Christmas, and for the first year ever, Romy is spending Christmas away from the Dragon and has a chance at a "REAL" holiday. There's a good juggling act between heavy themes like infertility and dead parents, and silly moments like Romy's caroling attempt and Rick shamelessly hearting every instagram post of the girl he stood up on prom night (fuckboy alert!). And the divorced Dad even makes his daughters our FAVORITE midwest food: PUPPY CHOW! I was surprised at how deep the message went for this film. Initially I felt like the movie was a mess: too many people, too many stories to follow, but things start coming into shape about a half hour in. You start rooting for romance once you realize Romy's douchey Vermont boyfriend named BLAKE isn't actually douchey at all, he just has an unfortunate name and face. I love how Romy's attempts at a traditional holiday prove there is no right way to Christmas, that the holiday is who you spend it with, not how you spend it. Traditions only matter if they are shared.
SYNOPSIS: The only open restaurant on Christmas Day in Wichita, KS, is the Golden Dragon--and it's their last Christmas because the owners sold the place. For its final Christmas, the family and community of the Golden Dragon are brought together by the restaurant's, and holiday's, magic.
CHRISTMAS AT THE GOLDEN
DRAGON (2022)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: You know how Canadian things just feel....generic? Off-brand? That's this movie--it means well, and is probably a much nicer person than an American movie, but it was the definition of low-budget. I did like the dog in this one quite a bit, and the surprise guitar performance wasn't as cringe as I was expecting. Also the kiss at the end was legitimately good, and doesn't leave you thinking, "well he's gay in real life." Anyway, unless you're super into craft beer and flannel shirts, you can probably skip this one. If you are really hankering for holiday hops, we recommend A VERY VERMONT CHRISTMAS.
SYNOPSIS: A big city consultant, Tori, is sent to buy a small-town brewery for her corporate company, but when she falls for the local brewer, she may fumble the deal and love.
CHRISTMAS BREW, THE (2024)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: So we've got a Dead Dad AND a Dead Girlfriend in this one, and they seem like minimal plot points until the almost-end of the movie, which is apparently when the writers realized the whole Christmas clothes design thing was incredibly lame. This movie is super light and cliche made-for-TV and then all of a sudden, HARD LEFT--so LOOK OUT. We really loved the small town Christmas vibes, but definitely lost interest after more than an hour of "the big city would never have this kind of family Christmas experience--oh noooo, my far less attractive ex!" over and over and over again. And we HATE the guilt tripping of a woman who chose to have a successful career--like we are told to support ourselves and work hard, then when we do, it's like "you're never here for Christmas anymore!" Give me a break. Then the main girl, Charlotte, who we just career shamed, designs some shitty clothes and kisses a guy who has the personality of mashed potatoes and we're pretty sure murdered his last girlfriend...so...it's fine. It does redeem itself in a bit by getting back on the cliche made-for-TV Christmas track, but....not a favorite.
SYNOPSIS: A luxury fashion designer is forced to spend the holidays at home, where she competes in the traditional Elfcapades AND a national design contest for an every day Christmas wear collection.
CHRISTMAS BY DESIGN (2023)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Imagine being forced to split a 1,000-acre property 50/50 with an obnoxious stranger!!! Oh, the peril! This entire movie features two characters and was shot in the course of a week. The lack of world-building and characters really made it hard to give a shit, though there was some strong attempts at stakes by means of an old family rivalry that was rooted in a love story. There's also an avalanche...? This whole thing was weird. It's a pass.
SYNOPSIS: Two strangers discover they have equal rights to a charming cabin in the wilderness--one of them wants to sell, but the other refuses to give up the cabin/holiday getaway that's been in her family for generations.
CHRISTMAS CABIN (2019)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
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OUR THOUGHTS: Not to be confused with THE HOLIDAY CALENDAR, this adds a believable dose of Christmas magic when a baker's family's full-on dollhouse calendar starts magically producing tips on what she should bake that day. The calendar's secret tips create a buzz and bring in customers just when the blonde baker needs to save the bakery from the chain grocer's imminent takeover of evil capitalism. The hometown baker girl and her rival big-time French baker have some major romantic chemistry, but it is hard to think that man is straight...
CHRISTMAS CALENDAR, THE (2017)
SYNOPSIS: A small town baker needs a way to add panache to her family bakery when a fancy new baker moves into the town's big chain grocer.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Have you ever wanted to hate a woman for being committed to her job, just like she was told she had to be if she ever wanted to amount to anything? Well, this movie is here to make your wish come true! Haley, our leading lady is forced by her job to attend a small inn's weeklong "Christmas Camp," a curated vacation designed to help participants get in touch with the Christmas spirit. If you're thinking, "why would going to a weird holiday hotel week help Haley with her job?" then you're not alone, and honestly that question never gets a satisfying answer in this movie. We are led to believe that Haley getting a "certificate" from Christmas Camp proving she learned about Christmas-y things like "hope" and "inspiration" is what it will take for Haley to land a major account at work. We are further led to believe Haley is the Grinch at Christmas Camp because, living in a capitalist society, she still has to do work things the week before Christmas. The whole movie is one-tone, boring, and with a premise too flimsy for anyone to give a shit. We can't tell if it's a total send back to Santa, but it certainly isn't a must-watch, either...
CHRISTMAS CAMP (2018)
SYNOPSIS: A brand executive is sent to Christmas Camp to learn all about Christmas Tradition, and in-so-doing gain a big client.
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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CHRISTMAS CATCH (2018)
SYNOPSIS: Hot young cop goes undercover to nab hot young thief--but the real crime here is one of the heart.
OUR THOUGHTS: Although the believability is a big reach, it's a cute idea: aspirational detective unwittingly falls for a criminal she is trying to lock up. Could have been more expertly executed, and could have used a bit more Christmas in it, but one of the more original ideas we've come across. The main girl has kind of a weird face, almost looks like Julia Fox, and she has a super hot best friend/co-worker that you're kind of hoping the whole time they end up together. And maybe they do, no spoilers, right? Also a weird Mom character who is Chief of Police and main girl's boss, so that's like...a whole thing. Overall, did not hate watching!
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: We don't understand why anyone would want to ruin the joy of Christmas with the terror of high school, but this movie attempts to do just that. With no original storylines or characters on either the Christmas or high school front, this movie left us feeling kind of, meh. There were several characters you're following, and we didn't feel like we got to go deep enough into any of their stories. We do have some Jingle Jollies going on with the single hot dad and a save-the-relationship bebe, and the main girl REALLY needs to do some inner child therapy work with a licensed professional.
CHRISTMAS CLASS REUNION (2022)
SYNOPSIS: Overachiever and former Class President Elle (short for "Noelle") is putting together her 15-year high school reunion--but planning it during the holidays when everyone is home turns out to be more than she bargained for.
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
CHRISTMAS CUPID (2010)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Big city PR agent goes on a Christmas Carol journey through her past, present, and future, all led by her main client who recently, and unexpectedly, died. This Hollywood Scrooge must learn a lesson about love to turn her life around.
OUR THOUGHTS: This one takes us waaay back to 2010, but it is worth it. This is a CLASSIC Christmas flick, especially for all us millennial babies. It certainly isn't the most original--just another Dickensian three ghosts trope, but this time the paranormal circus is led by a hot agent's top client--who died choking on a martini olive. Which, what a way to go. Cheers to you, queen. We also love a PR Agent as Scrooge--talk about soulless humans--especially when they make their employees work through Christmas! Chad Michael Murray is a hot doctor, which is the one of the best presents we've ever received under the tree, and the eye candy canes do not stop there. We've got plenty of studs in this, thanks to our three ghosts being played by three of the PR Agent's exes. We aren't 100% on-board with shaming her for dating more than one dude in her life, which seems to be a primary point of the Ghost of Christmas Past. BUT we do love the message of treating people with kindness--very Christmas-y.
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OUR THOUGHTS: On the surface, reuniting two High School Musical rockstars seems like a slam dunk, but the dancing in this movie was not as WOW as I wanted it to be. I did love the representation of a differently-abled dancer, though, so that gets some props. Overall, this movie ticks all the boxes when it comes to Christmas vibes, but I surprisingly did not pick up on real chemistry between our HSM alum--bizarre, right?! This is definitely cute and Christmas-y, worth adding to your watch list, but I think I had my hopes up too high and got let down a bit.
CHRISTMAS DANCE REUNION, A (2021)
SYNOPSIS: Big City attorney Lucy heads back to a resort where she spent her childhood Christmases, and is once again forced into creating dance routines for the resort's holiday crowd.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A young woman wishes for another life, and when an angel grants her the chance to see what her life would be like if she had made it as a musician, shit gets dark--fast.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Amber Riley brings her amazing voice to the lead role, Kandi, a singer with stage fright who almost made it big with her former girl group, but they ditched her and became a fake Destiny's Child without her. Oh and her Dad is dead and she has a major alcohol problem. SO, we've got plenty of Jingle Jollies to qualify this as a true made-for-TV Christmas movie (we've got an Angel, Kandi gets fired, and a quirky best friend) but it does get very preachy, with a whole lotta Jesus. It definitely does a great job of driving its message home--that happiness is about choices--but damn, does it go hard.
CHRISTMAS DÉJÀ VU (2021)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A hometown girl tries to revive the classic Christmas Ice Sculpture competition, mostly so she can compete herself and show everyone that she is the BEST ice sculptor, though it really might be the mystery recluse man whose sculptures are all over town.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This movie focuses heavily on our sassy bob protagonist (Emma) and her drive to reinstate the town's ice sculpting competition. Like, she is obsessed. And, to be fair, once the carving actually starts, it is really cool. But it isn't enough to sustain the whole film. There's a glaring lack when it comes to the Christmas vibes and the romance, and there is nothing else really going on other than Emma's obsession with the ice sculpture competition. There was some good conflict and mystery set up Act 1 but it is resolved quickly. Then, suddenly at the end of Act 2, we see some inner conflict for Emma about her big fancy law career. And when it comes time for a moving speech from our lead male actor, he gives the same emotional range as the block of ice he is carving. It seems like the seeds were there for character arcs, but they were misplaced and underdeveloped. Your life will not change one bit if you watch this film or not, so...up to you.
CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL OF ICE (2017)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A talk radio host and her producer try an on-air blind dating segment, only to end up tangled in one another's love lives.
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OUR THOUGHTS: We really wanted to like this one--it's about a producer, after all, and we are producers. BUT Denise Richards came off as drunk or hungover in every scene, and the producer, Kenzie, seemed to only own clothes from The American Girl Store. The only Christmas or Holiday spirit came from office decor and the big revelation scene happening at a Christmas party. The main plotline itself had the groundwork of real conflict, but it never really came to fruition. We never cheered for anyone to find their happily ever after, and found it hard to pay attention. No real reason to tune into this one, unless you're super into aerial shots of Ann Arbor, Michigan.
CHRISTMAS FREQUENCY, A
(2023)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
SYNOPSIS: A Christmas-crazed family's retired Mom and adult sons bring back their favorite privileged-people Christmas Traditions: an obnoxiously over-decorated house and sibling rivalry.
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OUR THOUGHTS: FINALLY, the Christmas love story of two dads just wanting to adopt a baby WE ALL DESERVE! At first, we were very skeptical of a controlling Mother forcing her family (via whistle, no less) to decorate their entire home as a Christmas Wonderland, but now we are 100% on board with this holiday version of a Haunted House. Forcing a young, impressionable boy to be a magician, and as such ruining any chance he has of having a girlfriend, was a bit tough to watch. And the major family secret/conflict was revealed and resolved in a very bland, one-note storyline that made it hard to track. Before I knew it, the parents were moving in together, but they were just getting divorced or separated, like, two scenes earlier. But the conflict we all care about, the big television star choosing career or Christmas/Love/Family, had a good build and climactic reveal, so that worked. I will say, this was cute, but the sequel is better!
CHRISTMAS HOUSE (2020)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: The Mitchell brothers return, this time competing against one another to see who can create the best Christmas House--all for a reality TV show!
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OUR THOUGHTS: Our favorite Christmas brothers (whose names I do not know despite having just watched a whole movie with them--two white boy names so probably John and Steve? Justin? Travis?) are BACK, but this time they are turning two separate houses into their own Christmas Houses in a televised special. This movie is better than its predecessor thanks to the clever to-camera scenes thread throughout that depict their interviews in their decorating reality competition show. Bouncing between in-front-of-camera and behind-the-camera scenes made for layered storytelling. We got some real stakes between the brothers as their rivalry puts their brotherly love through the ringer. There's also an added conflict when the stepson's REAL dad, a hot aussie who has literally punched a shark, unexpectedly shows up, and a new family dynamic has to be explored. What we love about the Christmas House family is the way they showcase different family structures, and of course the over-the-top Christmas cheer!
CHRISTMAS HOUSE 2 (2021)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A selfish little girl makes a wish that strands thousands of airline travelers for Christmas, and forces a local veterinarian to cancel her own holiday plans and save the town's holiday festival.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is the quintessential made-for-TV Christmas movie: small hometown with massive amounts of Christmas cheer, a magical snow globe, a big city boyfriend causing our main lady some major conflict, a snowstorm that blocks the highway in and out of town, a hot single dad (who is also a doctor, whaaaa???), a quirky best friend, a mysterious stranger who may or may not be Santa gettin' all up in everyone's business, and everything building to the town's spectacular Christmas festival that ALMOST gets cancelled due to the storm. Like, was this movie written by a Nutcracker? It's THAT Christmas-y!!! There's even an old red truck with a garland on it. This is a go-to if you're really craving cozy Christmas.
CHRISTMAS IN EVERGREEN (2017)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A commercial stager ends up in her childhood hometown of Evergreen, working alongside a local handyman to fix up the gold general store in time for a Christmas buyer.
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OUR THOUGHTS: We are back in charming Evergreen, Vermont, for another holiday love story--and our favorite town locals are popping up all over. This visit to Evergreen and its magical snow globe doesn't make you fall in love quite like the first one, but maybe its because you know what to expect? At any rate, it still feels very festive, and we've got ice skating in the much-awaited sequel. The big Evergreen tradition in this movie is the town mailbox meant specifically for Letters to Santa. One letter stuck in there for decades inspires the local carpenter to get on-board and help with a townwide effort to spruce up the general store. OH and the rando townie named Nick makes an appearance again! Someone needs to check if he should really be around children because he is a major lurker...
CHRISTMAS IN EVERGREEN: LETTERS TO SANTA (2018)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big city writer heads to Evergreen to find out what the Christmas hype is all about, and joins the town in uncovering a mystery lost to time.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Once again in Evergreen, and starting to get suspicious about how many attractive singles there are in this town? This second sequel (trequel?) in the Evergreen saga introduces us to writer Katie, whose wide-eyed curiosity about Evergreen helps call out some of the insanity about its pure Christmas energy. Unlike the second installment of Christmas in Evergreen, this movie really layered on the protagonists--we've got three love stories, three new town businesses (including the library), and one dumb idiot who breaks the magical snow globe. BUT this leads the whole town to uncover a massive time capsule secret, and a case of really bad set design. But hey, it's Evergreen! We still love it. Kind of.
CHRISTMAS IN EVERGREEN: TIDINGS OF JOY (2019)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A movie production descends on a small town for filming at Christmas, and while the widower Mayor was originally against the shoot, his whirlwind romance with the lead actor helps him rediscover love.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is 100% made-for-TV Christmas, down to the town square and family-run small town inn. This movie really captures the small town holiday feeling, and goes full-on meta with the filming of a made-for-TV Christmas movie about a big city woman falling for a small town inn keeper, because this movie is about a big city movie star falling in love with a small town inn keeper--who, BONUS, is also a hot single dad AND the mayor. There were too many Jingle Jollies in this film to keep track (dead mom/wife, snowman building competition, snowball fight, horse-drawn sleigh ride!), so get your hot cocoa going because this is co-co-cozy viewing, my friend. Tune in for the Christmas, stay for Gavin the bodyguard! It's definitely not the best thing you could watch, but it's also not the worst!
CHRISTMAS IN HOMESTEAD (2016)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A woman spends Christmas in London with her sister, and ends up falling for a professional athlete who is already connected to her...
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OUR THOUGHTS: London Christmas always delivers the festive vibes, and this movie takes us from dark mahogany pub to dazzling Christmas Carnival to holiday shopping in London's poshest (most posh??) stores. Like all made-for-TV Christmas flicks in other countries, our main characters are Americans, which always makes us scratch our heads because...can we really just go live in London? How? Can I do it now? Our main leads are very attractive and we get a steamy Act 2 kiss to keep us interested, but they try to play up conflict like they are forbidden lovers but the only thing keeping them from true love is over-reactions. So, as far as interesting romance storyline, not much is going on. As far as Christmas, there's some but it definitely takes a back-seat to the romance and family dynamics. Like all things British, it really gets your hopes up because it is steeped in tradition, but ends up being bland and inbred and kind of just....meh.
CHRISTMAS IN NOTTING HILL
(2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Rome is not the first locale that comes to mind when we think of Christmas, but this movie was a fun detour from traditional snowy mountain villages or small town main streets. It did play a bit like a PBS travel special on Rome, what with the constant tidbits about Italian cultural traditions and tourist hotspots not-so-naturally slid into dialogue. Once you get past Oliver's face looking like a sphincter, he becomes a bit more lovable, but Gretchen Wieners could do better. Not a terrible flick, but also not a must-watch. If you like the idea of Italy, this movie will be great for you. If you are Italian or have an Italian Nonna, skip this one.
SYNOPSIS: Big City business boy Oliver bumps into down-on-her-luck tour guide Angela in Rome, and the two turn out the be exactly what the other needs--in love, business, and holiday magic.
CHRISTMAS IN ROME (2019)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Set amidst the beautiful Rocky Mountains, but filmed in Ontario, we are transported to the height of winter wonderland in this small town, where family-run company Jolly Lumber is struggling to keep afloat financially. This movie is great at laying groundwork for conflict, but the resolution is ultimately anticlimactic. The big moment we've been hanging the whole film on happens in a montage....? Luckily, unlike real life, everyone in this small mountain town is hot, and not on meth, except maybe Sam...Anyway, this movie drags on a bit in the middle, and, like I said, the pay off comes and goes before you really realize what's goin on. BUT it's a jolly good time, and very wintery. Not as Christmas-centric, so a good one if you're feeling a bit Christmas-weary.
SYNOPSIS: The daughter of a small town lumber empire is torn between taking a big city job, or staying home to try and win the annual Lumberjack competition to save her father's company--with her 2 biggest competitors being her ex-boyfriend and her current flame.
CHRISTMAS IN THE ROCKIES (2019)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Lifetime is not pulling any punches with their knock-off of the Taylor-Travis love story--in this movie known as Bowyn-Gonzo. Now, Hallmark has been making it very well-known they're doing a legit partnership with the Kansas City Chiefs to pull off their own Christmas romance movie, set to premiere this thanksgiving weekend. As soon as Hallmark announced their official air date, Lifetime swooped in and released this little ditty exactly ONE WEEK before Hallmark's. And if you think this isn't a tit for tat, Bowyn's fans are affectionally referred to as Arrowheads, a not-so-subtle nod to the name of the Kansas City Chiefs' stadium.
We had some real Troy Bolton energy with Drew's line "From now, I'm calling my own shots!" but we aren't mad about it. Troy Bolton jazz squared so Travis Kelce could wear a Tuxedo on the Eras Tour. But I digress. This movie veered from reality just enough to add some juicy tension and conflict, even a real BREAK UP. Bowyn then finds the biggest guitar ever created and starts strumming sad acoustic just like OG Taylor. I low-key love how Drew says after the break up, "It never would have worked//She is just out of my league" and the fake Kylie (Travis' sister in law) just nods and is like, "yeah, she really is." LOLZ.
So long as you aren't constantly comparing this to the real love story of Taylor/Travis, it's a decent Holiday romance. BUT if you are looking for a frame-for-frame remake of the real story, you'll be disappointed. While I will most likely never ever ever be getting back together with this film again for another watch, it's not the worst way to spend an hour and a half this holiday era. As a semi-Swiftie, I caught on to some of the easter eggs: The 13 on her jacket and necklace; the friendship bracelet from the niece; "Uncle Gonzo can't come to the phone right now--he's dead!" (from "Look What You Made Me Do"), "never the cheerleader type, more of the bleacher girl" (from "You Belong With Me"), "Grow up, Peters" (from "Peter"), "You know all too well..." (from All Too Well), "Why they gotta be so mean?" (from "Mean")...But I have a feeling I missed a BUNCH!
SYNOPSIS: A pop superstar begins dating an NFL superstar at the holidays--ring any silver bells? That's right, Lifetime's Taylor-Travis romance is here!
CHRISTMAS IN THE
SPOTLIGHT (2024)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
CHRISTMAS INHERITANCE (2018)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: We know, how many small town inn Christmas movies can there be?!? The answer: NEVER ENOUGH. This one is a BIT contrived, as the motivating story element is a challenge to Ellen, our fake Paris Hilton character, to deliver a Christmas letter to her Dad's business partner. She must go to the small town where her big-shot business Dad got his start to deliver the mystery letter, and if she completes this mission, she can inherit her Dad's business empire--which seems a bit wild considering she has little experience and is introduced to us as a know-nothing party girl but, sure, give her a multimillion dollar business for delivering a letter. Anyway, Plop from The Office runs the local inn, where she must stay during a vicious snowstorm. The inn is threatened by big business interests, and the manager sparks some interest in our heiress, as well.
SYNOPSIS: A spoiled heiress must go to her family's hometown on a Christmas mission before she can inherit her Dad's business--but she gets snowed in, and magic happens.
CHRISTMAS ISLAND (2023)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
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OUR THOUGHTS: We loved the setting of this film--have never seen a seaside, fisherman's village Christmas! But our enemies-to-lovers trope was resolved very early on, and it was hard to stay tuned in as the movie dragged on. It felt very long, and very one-note. There was a good arc for the rich family to rediscover the magic of Christmsa together, but the central love story had little conflict and little surprises. The visuals are stunning, but this one you can leave on mute and still know exactly what's happening.
SYNOPSIS: A private pilot ends up stranded with her wealthy clients on a remote island in the North Atlantic, and ends up facing her anti-Christmas feelings, finding a spark with an unlikely coworker, and discovering how this community earned the name "Christmas Island."
CHRISTMAS LAND (2019)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Jules inherits magical Christmas Land and adjacent tree farm from her dead grandmother, and gets herself in a sticky situation when she is backed into a corner to sell it, potentially ruining the local town's only reason for living.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is the ideal cozy comfort classic Made-for-TV Christmas flick. It has all the cliche jingle jollies, including the big city girl goes back to a small town from her childhood, a sudden inheritance of property/business, a love triangle, a decorating musical montage, local small town boy who looks GOOD in flannel...You get it!! It is a bit weird seeing Luke Macfarlane as a straight heart throb in this, but honestly, he is gorgeous. I'll watch him as any kind of heart throb. At any rate, this movie is a definite go-to for Christmas Comfort. If you don't want complicated story or character, and you DO want a creepy uncle who is definitely trafficking drugs on the downlow, this is gonna be your favorite movie EVER. It's definitely going to be an annual watch for me--I may go watch it again right now.
CHRISTMAS LOVE LETTER, A (2019)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big city writer returns to her quaint small town in search of a mysterious love letter writer, all in time for Christmas!
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OUR THOUGHTS: Ok! Now THIS is some class cheesy Christmas rom-com material! This movie kicks off with a failed proposal, and only gets more Christmas-y from there. A dead mom, a struggling family business, a hot single dad, a newspaper writer leading lady!! Trigger warning, there is a weird robotic dog--even I, as a dog lover, found it a bit creepy. But hey, no Christmas love story is perfect! The story device of using a mysterious letter to explore boyfriends of the past is a great, bouncy way through the movie. But the film did make us feel a bit annoyed by the "friend zoned" loser who loved the leading lady all along. And we also realized that the "hot single dad" trope is so highly popular because men aren't grown enough to be mature partners until they are literally responsible for an entire other human being. Merry Christmas to women everywhere. This is a good cozy Christmas flick with all the greatest cliche hits! No need to watch more than once, but good for a snuggly night in while you stalk you ex's current girlfriend online.
CHRISTMAS LOVERS ANONYMOUS (2021)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A best-selling author gets famous for hating Christmas, but joins an anonymous Christmas Lovers group and finds love that could blow her cover as the world's biggest Grinch.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This one starts off HOT: Our main girl gets dumped AND fired within the first five minutes--all because she loves Christmas way too much!!! She then writes a best-selling book all about how Christmas is the WORST! So now she has to hate Christmas, because it's what she is famous for, but her heart longs for jingle bells and boughs of holly. Her now-secret love for Christmas leads her to a hot single dad, but he threatens to ruin her writing career persona by telling everyone she LOVES Christmas--kind of a dick move, yeah? Not a terrible premise, but overall, stakes are pretty low, which makes for an empty feeling at the end.
CHRISTMAS MIRACLE, A
(2024)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A family bands together to save a struggling community center's annual holiday jubilee and ensure everyone, especially the local kids, has a merry Christmas.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Overall this movie has a lot of ups and downs, and a LOT of storylines--more isn't always more, but this movie does manage to pull off everything it tries to take on, albeit a bit sloppily. I've never been a fan of the LOVE ACTUALLY approach to movies (8,000 characters, all with their own conflicts, and about three minutes total screentime for each), but I appreciate that the multiple storylines in this movie stem from the same family tree. Some stories are heavier than others, so you get a good mix of humanity to pluck at your heartstrings, but they all feel a bit short-changed on screen time and resolution. You gain clarity of the main story arc in the first family dinner scene, where everyone learns about the community center's impending demise due to mixed-use development. Mom Roz's annual community center Jubilee is cancelled due to lack of funding, so the whole Mackenzie family bands together to help Roz pull off an amazing holiday Jubilee--and convince a local politician to put the community, and the community center, before capitalism.
CHRISTMAS MOVIE CHRISTMAS, A
(2019)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Two sisters get stuck living inside a cliche christmas movie
OUR THOUGHTS: Surprised at how much I liked this! While the production value was even worse than usual made-for-TV Christmas movies, the original and funny tongue-in-cheek writing made up for it. Even though it is poking fun at itself the whole time, there's still a lot of warmth and sisterly love to keep you feeling the Christmas spirit.
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CHRISTMAS MOVIE MAGIC (2019)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A journalist and a local movie theater owner team up to uncover the truth behind the theater's iconic Christmas movie and song.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This one has a genuinely good storyline that drives the beats organically. A reporter looking for her big break visits an iconic local theater that is famous for its holiday-themed movie, Christmas With You, filmed in the town. It is rumored the big movie star wrote the movie's namesake song about a love he had in the small town where the theater lives/film is based, but no one knows if it's a real love story or not. Our two leads (the reporter and the movie theater owner) team up to find the truth about the love story, while writing a love story of their own. Spoiler alert: The sweet old Grandma was movie theater SNACK--look out boys!
CHRISTMAS ON CALL (2024)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: Doctor Hannah Williams moves to Philadelphia and finds trauma, drama, and romance in her new ER, where a studly EMT catches her eye.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Ser'Darius Blain. Woof. Where have YOU been the past 200 made-for-TV movies I've watched because DAAAMMMMNNN. So this movie has a very attractive and suave leading man, Wes. Not sure why Wes is such good friends with a teenager....but whatever. Mama Kelce (Donna) makes a wonderful surprise cameo, but that is really about as exciting as this movie gets. We bounce between Christmas dates and low-stakes ER scenes, with no real momentum or tension building toward any kind of single point. Then Wes shows up with an a capella singing group like this is some college campus and they're trying to get invited to a formal. There's also these two cops that have their own little movie going on, and it's unclear how they're related to the main storyline until the very end, leaving you wondering why you even care about this man with a terrible mustache. I think the pitch for this film had a lot of heart and was very true to Hallmark's brand: A Christmas romance version of every ER/EMT/Cop procedural on network television. Makes sense why this got greenlit. But the execution of that pitch was just, meh, and left you wanting more...more comedy, more chemistry, more Christmas, more...everything? Maybe if the whole film had the same level of drama and action as the final ten minutes, it would have been more than one star. Overall, you can skip this one. Unless you're really into Philadelphia, then you'll like it.
CHRISTMAS ON REPEAT (2022)
RATING: .25 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A mom that can't make pancakes gets stuck in a time loop after santa hears her make a wish that she wants to do christmas over.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Woof. This one was a hard watch, as it had an unoriginal time loop concept. It really just kind of proved that we expect Moms to be super humans, and the only way they could really could get everything done that we expect them to get done is if they get to live each day, like, 30 times. The lead works in marketing, which is apparently the only job in made-for-TV Christmas land. What I did appreciate was that it was about a Mom and her family, not about a young woman who somehow finds an attractive, single, coherent, employed, and not sociopathic man in a small town--who doesn't live with his Mom! Changed up the pace in that way.
CHRISTMAS ON THE ALPACA
FARM (2024)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO
SANTA
SYNOPSIS: Sweater Weather has never been worse: Sweater designer Jess competes for a big luxury sweater fashion deal by creating sweaters from alpaca wool--sorry, fleece--and falling in love with a preteen girl in the process.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Believe me, I was just as shocked as you are to learn that a movie about sweaters was a dud...but, alas. Fashion designer Jess is obsessed with Alpaca wool--sorry, fleece--and she uses it to make really bland, unoriginal sweaters. She is so obsessed with Alpaca wool--sorry, fleece--she quits her fancy job to win a Christmas sweater designing contest, and because this is a make-believe world with make-believe contests, that is just fine. She temporarily moves into a stranger's house because he has alpacas and a daughter whom Jess is strangely obsessed with. Then Jess wins the contest and, lo and behold, earns a big business deal with Beverly Clemington, who gives the aura of a man that has lived to 300 years old simply by drinking the blood of children. This movie is an easy pass, unless you're very into thick sweaters that give you boob sweat just from looking at them. And, if you want to die, turn this movie into a drinking game where you take a shot every time they say "sustainable" and/or "alpaca."
CHRISTMAS ON THE
RANCH (2024)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Big city slicker Christina is stranded during the holidays at a therapy horse ranch, which is on the brink of being sold despite owner Cory's fight to keep it.
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OUR THOUGHTS: A big radio host starts the movie, and her holiday, off with a familiar jingle jolly: she crashes her car into a stationary object and is rescued by a handsome man who ends up being a hot single dad. One surprising aspect of this familiar opening beat is that apparently there are ranches in Ohio...As someone from the midwest, I thought we called them farms. But this is Christmas world, so who cares! If you're looking for originality, this movie isn't for you: big city slicker falls for country boy, who is a hot single dad at risk of losing his beloved family business...it’s about as innovative as the state of Ohio itself. BUT, if you don’t mind a little cliche, and you are into rustic ranch romance with a second chance at true love, you're in luck! This movie isn't what we would call bad, but it is pretty boring. However, if you are watching it with a studly flanneled man with whom you can make out during the boring bits, you'll enjoy it a lot more.
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CHRISTMAS PARADE, THE (2014)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big city journalist crashes her car in a small Christmas town, and winds up having to do community service hours working on the Christmas Parade float for the children's center.
OUR THOUGHTS: WOW we are starting off HOT with a lot of Jingle Jollies: A journalist breaks up with her fiancé (played by Drew Scott of Property Brothers fame) after she finds out he is cheating on her--while she is live on air! The next scene, she gets in a car accident with a hot single from the nearby small Christmas town, where she ends up having to stay at a B&B OWNED BY SAID HOT SINGLE. And we're two minutes in. This movie delivers classic Americana Christmas, as our down-on-her-luck Journo ends up helping the small town children's center with their Christmas Parade Float. Cheating fiancé, a greedy mayor and big city investment bad guys team up to threaten the children's joy, and Christmas!
CHRISTMAS PERFECTION (2018)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Woman makes wish to live in a porcelain Irish village, gets stuck there and must escape.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This chick who does not have an ounce of Irish heritage is obsessed with collecting porcelain Irish village models. But when one of her village pieces shatters, she goes to see a rando witch who runs a store to replace it, and ends up living in a real-life version of her little Irish village. A less diverse version of Snow Globe, each day is Christmas Day in Ireland, and somehow sunny--in Ireland. Every day. I know it's a fake Ireland magic village, but the lead should have been a ginger. And had more of a potato vibe.
CHRISTMAS PLUS ONE (2023)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Two sisters' Christmas wish tradition lead one of them to the altar, and another one on a wild goose chase to find the soulmate she thought she lost--only to discover her true soulmate was right in front of her.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This movie has a very "been there, done that" vibe when a grounded plane prevents Cara, our leading lady, from making it to the city, and she ends up catching a ride with a stranger that she believes is her soulmate. BUT this movie ended up surprising us. Even though it had some very familiar tropes, from Cara's sister's Christmas wedding (she looks like a Mormon child bride, major yikes) to building snowmen to childhood Christmas trauma that turned our leading man into a Scrooge, this flick felt fresh and festive. We liked the mystery of tracking down her lost soulmate, all the "so close!" moments, and the genuine chemistry that built naturally between Cara and the Scrooge (surprise, he is NOT the lost soulmate). This is definitely one of the better-made Christmas rom-coms when you just want a cozy film to remind you it's been literal months since anyone kissed you.
CHRISTMAS PRINCE, A (2017)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A Journalist scores the story of her career by lying and gaining exclusive access to a European Royal, but she may have to sacrifice true love to get her big scoop.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Despite it ripping its storyline almost directly from The Prince of Me, this instant classic is a Christmas season must--it even has two sequels to make the royal trilogy complete. An American Journalist travels to a faraway, vague European nation where she meets her very own Tiny Tim character that just so happens to be the little sister of the world's most eligible royal bachelor. But the journalist's many lies catch up to her, and she risks losing her story and her true love--can she get it back by Christmas!?! The best part is, this is FAR from the only Christmas and Royalty collab we see in our made-for-TV canon--it's not even Netflix's only Christmas + Royalty storyline! (check out Vanessa Anne Hudgens in The Princess Switch!).
CHRISTMAS PRINCE: A ROYAL
WEDDING (2018)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Woman whose entire relationship with Prince is based on lies marries said Prin
OUR THOUGHTS: Christmas gets real geopolitical in this sequel to Netflix's Christmas Princess Diaries. After last Christmas' whirlwind engagement, we are back in Aldovia for another holiday, but this year plebeian Amber
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CHRISTMAS PRINCE: A ROYAL BABY (2019)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Now they're having a baby...
OUR THOUGHTS: Review TBD
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CHRISTMAS QUEST, THE (2024)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Archaeologist Stefanie enlists ex-husband Chase to track down the lost Icelandic Christmas treasure for which Stefanie’s mother spent her life looking.
OUR THOUGHTS: I was so excited for this one: a destination holiday film with a treasure hunt, all led by Gretchen Wieners? Sign. Me. Up. Unfortunately, the epic adventure fell short of expectations — and defied basic logic, but it’s Hallmark, so that is pretty standard. The premise of this film was pretty creative, and quite intriguing: Stefanie, an archaeologist, inherits her Mother’s journey and wants to finish her Dead Mom’s life’s work by finally locating an old Icelandic treasure. The treasure can only be found by someone who can track down and solve a trail of 13 clues, left behind by 13 legendary “Yule Lads,” who are basically like the Seven Dwarves but less abduct-y. But these ancient clues are written in ancient runes, and there’s only one person who can read them: Stefanie’s ex-husband, Chase. So Stefanie and aptly named Chase head to Iceland to “chase” down the Yule Lads’ hidden treasure…And cue the “womp womp womp woommmppp.” Other than getting stuck in a cave and a fake kiss in a storage closet, there isn’t a lot of action in this holiday action-adventure flick. There’s a lot of reading things carved into wood and ice, that are somehow perfectly preserved after centuries of being hidden, and then there is a mystery woman who gets her hands on Stefanie’s Mom’s journal, and is also after the treasure. The treasure hunt comes to an uneventful end when the treasure turns out to be more metaphorical than literal, but again, very Hallmark. There’s even a cute Dead Mother-Alive Daughter moment, which I loved. But yeah, perhaps my high hopes merited this flick such a low rating. Or maybe it was because 13 Yule Lads is way too many Yule Lads. Five. You need five. At most.
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CHRISTMAS STRAY, A (2019)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
SYNOPSIS: An evil dog breeder named Helen forces her poor dog to have litter after litter, even though shelters are over capacity across the nation forcing innocent dogs to get euthanized every day.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie isn't really about Helen, because that woman is hopefully rotting in jail and not able to have her own movie. We follow Helen's veterinarian as she forms a friendship with a big city slicker who gets stranded in their quaint Christmas town after he crashes his car into a tree. There is nothing remarkable about this Christmas rom-com to make it stand out from the masses, save for the adorable doggos and a pretty good dance scene. Helen is a bitch-ass punk who doesn't deserve Christmas, and because this film encourages dog breeding, it's an automatic SEND BACK TO SANTA. SUCK A DICK, HELEN!
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CHRISTMAS SWITCH, A (2019)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Two women, one poor and the other one a mega bitch, swap bodies and lives by wishing on an enchanted ornament.
OUR THOUGHTS: This is not the only Freaky Friday Christmas movie out there, nor is it the best Freaky Friday Christmas movie out there, but it teaches a few valuable lessons despite its lack of originality. The first lesson is that if you want to be a good Mom, you cannot also be good at your career. And if you are good at your career, you have to wear minimalist, monotone clothes and have a house to match. And if you have all of those things and are still, like I said, good at your career, your marriage must also be falling apart. BUT, and here's the second lesson, if you are just a waitress who can sing (because these are somehow lesser markers of success than a career and all-beige wardrobe), you are the best Mom and have a great marriage but also you're poor. I think the goal is for the film to teach us about loving what we have, but it really just reinforces inaccurate female stereotypes. And also Mrs. Claus has to work at a gift store now.
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CHRISTMAS UNDER THE LIGHTS
(2024)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: Big city marketing wiz Emily returns to the family farm to help pull off the annual Christmas Carnival after her Mom's passing. But Emily is forced to work with her brother's friend, and her frenemy, Luke.
OUR THOUGHTS: If you're into a lot of sexual tension and a lot of dead Mom, then this movie was made for you. In terms of setting, there's really nothing unique here: big city girl, Emily, who is successful in marketing goes home to family farm in the middle of nowhere for Christmas. This is Emily's first Christmas home without her Mom, so the movie is strung along by various flashbacks to Emily's time with her Mom, filling in the exposition about Emily's childhood in seattle and why she doesn't love the farm...or DOES she? Hot divorcee and brother's friend Luke is working as a farmhand and recruited to help Emily with the big Christmas Carnival. And there's a lot of moments where you're like, omg, just bang already! Luke works on a huge light art exhibition for the carnival, and, as you can imagine, the big reveal is a bit underwhelming. The movie opted for practical stained glass animal figures instead of AI laser madness, so while it isn't a massive stroke-inducing light show, the animals are cute--but not worth all the secrecy and hype. Anyway, by the end Emily gets her happily ever after in love and career and her Mom is still dead so....it's fine.
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CHRISTMAS UNDER THE STARS
(2019)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A rich boy investor loses his job and has to work at a Christmas tree lot, where he falls for a hot single Mom with a dead dad and an alive kid.
OUR THOUGHTS: Dead dad alert! A bit relieved that the big city porsche-driving finance nepo kid actually was a lot less douchier than most Christmas movie snobs, and the single hot mom is a dorky science teacher fighting a very relatable issue of medical debt collection. A cheery cast of characters, including a quirky best friend and a jolly old man who runs the Christmas tree lot, are rounded out by the very real threat of our leading lady having to double-pay on her dead dad's medical debt, and our leading man potentially having to sell his porsche. So, as you can imagine, these two really connect on so many levels. A very predictable blow up and fall out, followed by acts of good will and some made-for-TV Christmas miracles, and this film rounds out nicely by Christmas Day! Predictable, contrived, and even a bit yawn-worthy at times, overall this is an easy watch but not one that's gonna make or break your holiday season.
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CHRISTMAS VENUE,THE (2023)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: In an attempt to save her father's picturesque property, a young woman lies to an engaged couple about it being a wedding venue.
SYNOPSIS: We start off with the classic catastrophe date: the girl thinks her boyfriend is gonna propose, but instead she gets DUMPED, and right before Christmas!!! In this movie our victim is Cait, who decides to get out of the city and begin healing at her Dad's property upstate. This is all very par-for-the-course, especially when we meet Drew, the dork from high school who now works for Cait's Dad. We actually were on-board with everything in this movie until Cait decided she and Drew needed to pretend to be married--the dialogue even pointed out several times that this was weird and even stupid in an attempt to make the awkward plot point feel more digestable to the audience. Like, hey, we know this is weird even inside the world of the movie, so it's ok that you think it's weird, too. But honestly, that didn't solve the problem. The movie was contained to one location and one storyline, and felt very small. There were a lot of heartwarming moments, but overall, this one was, at best, mid.
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CHRISTMAS VILLAGE, A (2018)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
SYNOPSIS: PR maven Piper gets in hot water when a rival steals her recipes, and in an attempt to save her public image, she charitably helps save a flailing Christmas Village run by a hot single dad
OUR THOUGHTS: Right off the bat, I'm super sus of our leading lady because she is upset about getting a free dog! A WHOLE DOG, JUST GIVEN TO HER, and she is UPSET? Psychopath, much? This movie was definitely on the lower-budget, possibly-made-for-weird-Christian-families spectrum: thin on plot with very bland characters. It was definitely heavy on Christmas, but the flatness of the characters made me wonder if I even actually like Christmas...? And there was so much opportunity to cultivate some compelling story, here: Archie, the adopted dog, for one. The strange taxi driver guy who is probably the real Santa playing the Village santa. The weird inn owner who had a non-descript accent that should have also been the real Santa. Like, what are we doing here...
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CHRISTMAS VILLAGE ROMANCE, A [alt: CHRISTMAS AT MAPLE CREEK]
(2020)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A famous romance writer heads to her hometown's historical village, one of her favorite places as a kid, for some inspiration for her next novel. She finds not just inspiration, but a business crisis and a potential love of her own.
OUR THOUGHTS: We really liked the premise of this one: being at a historical re-enactment village gave us a chance to get old-timey Christmas vibes as well as modern ones. The whole set felt a bit bare, though, with very few characters and even fewer settings (we're at the village the whole time, it seemed like). The leading male was a mega nerd, but also kind of a manly man who could fix old engines, so that was a nice deviation from the typical "big city business man" ingenue to which we are so accustomed. If you are a hopeless romantic who is also into metanarratives, this one is for you!
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CHRISTMAS WEDDING PLANNER
(2017)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA!
SYNOPSIS: One woman, who is 12 years old, plans the wedding of her cousin, who is I think 14 years old. BUT then the planner teams up with cousin's ex to handle some lobster situation...?
OUR THOUGHTS: Rarely do I find a made-for-TV Christmas Movie I can't finish, but this one I HAD to turn off about 40 minutes in--not even halfway!! Joey Fatone of NSYNC was literally the only redeeming factor! It made me so uncomfortable because it was just BLECK. And I love weddings! Well, I love cake.
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This one is a SEND BACK TO SANTA!
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CHRISTMAS WEDDING RUNAWAY
(2019)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: One woman, who is 12 years old, plans the wedding of her cousin, who is I think 14 years old. BUT then the planner teams up with cousin's ex to handle some lobster situation...?
OUR THOUGHTS: We've got another redhead romance author (see A CHRISTMAS VILLAGE ROMANCE), this time named Maggie who realizes her dream wedding to the dream guy is not at all what she wants. While Maggie's poorly-dyed maroon hair had us real gingers gagging, we appreciate Maggie's quirky and wild writer's heart. Maggie's ex re-appears to create a love triangle, and then Maggie's sister starts having feelings for the groom Maggie left at the altar, so we've got a love square. They try to make this groom likable, but the first scene really made it clear he's a narcissist. At any rate, we have plenty of Jingle Jollies: a snow storm, a family farm, and my new favorite Jingle Jolly, texts on the screen! A lot of Christmas cheer set amongst the mountain farm makes this a cozy Christmas watch, if you can lean into the bad storyline and mid acting. It's got all the charm, and the abysmal production budget, of a good old-fashioned made-for-TV Christmas movie.
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CHRISTMAS WISH, A (2019)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: An art teacher gets her school program cut and turns to their town's magical wish box to save the day--unbeknownst to her, her sister has also made a wish in the magical wish box: that the art teach finds love! But only ONE wish can come true...
OUR THOUGHTS: OK, so there was a lot happening here, a few too many protagonists to follow. The story was packed on heavy in the first act, making the middle of the film kind of drag on. By the end of the film, the magical wish box seems to have worked its Christmas Magic, but you're not really sure how because, again, the middle plot beats just kind of mulled into a foggy mess of no action. But we do get some solid small town holiday vibes, an almost-spicy love triangle, and Hilarie Burton as an artsy fartsy teacher.
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CHRISTMAS WITH A KISS (2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Mona heads home for her family's big Christmas Carnival, only to discover her parents are retiring and the family may lose the Carnival and the big Christmas Eve Dance forever.
OUR THOUGHTS: Look out kids, we've got a love triangle--a REAL love triangle with TWO valid love options for our leading lady!! One is a fireman, and one is a reporter who is weirdly living with Mona's sister...? We've got elements of military family Christmas, small town Christmas, and sister BFF Christmas in this one, so if any of those check your boxes, you'll like this! This is very upstate New York, with a sexy man who can't express his feelings, and a clapboard barn transformed into a bespoke event venue for the big Christmas dance. We love the overall small town and family vibes in this movie, and recommend it for a cozy night in with some cocoa!
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CHRISTMAS WITH FELICITY (2021)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Felicity sees her bakery and relationship fall apart in the days leading up to Christmas, and heads home to small town Wisconsin for the holidays, where she finds a new baking gig with the help of a local butter farm--emphasis on BUTT. Seriously, he's got a donk.
OUR THOUGHTS: So many movies use the exact same establishing shots of Chicago shoreline in winter, this one included. And the familiar shots didn't stop there: we've got the same house as Grandma's in Christmas Wedding Runaway and the same downtown area as Waking Up To Christmas. Are we made-for-TV Christmas movie experts or WHAT? Anyway, this is pretty straightforward and classic small town Christmas, where our main lady (Felicity) is in a bad place and finds her happiness where she least expected it: At home, with her family, baking sugar cookies while navigating a love triangle with her big city slicker ex and the local "nice guy." OH, and she has a hip young niece building her an unbelievable social media presence! Unfortunately for Felicity, the "nice guy" actually refers to himself as a nice guy SEVERAL times while not blinking. Like, calm down, bud--who are you trying to convince? In other words, that butter is actually made of melted down human bodies--the big butt nice guy's victims. We can pretty much guarantee it.
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CHRISTMAS WITH THE
SINGHS (2024)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Asha and Jake, former high school classmates, reunite and fall in love, and the following Christmas they head home for their first blended family holiday. But the Singhs and the O'Briens don't mesh well, and the family feuds may bring an end to Asha and Jake forever.
OUR THOUGHTS: We. Are. PUMPED. For this one. The FIRST Hallmark Christmas movie with an Indian American ingenue and family. Asha and Jake, old high school classmates, reconnect and fall in love. Which really makes you think--is there ANY SINGLE PERSON from your high school who, if you reconnected with them today, you would consider dating? I honestly cannot relate. I am so proud of Jake in this movie for proposing without asking Asha's parents for permission, even though he gets pushback and seems like a bad guy for doing this. The Singhs are the newest in Christmas-obsessed families to add to the canon, and we love the cultural mash-ups. Sitar Christmas carols? Yes, please! We do NOT love how Asha's dad, Samuel, is basically just an asshole, but he grows on you. There were a lot of moments while watching this movie where I wanted to hate it and hate all the characters, but ultimately they kept winning me back. Overall, this is one of the better romances with a good dose of comedy you'll see in the Christmas line-up, definitely merits a watch! BUT don't expect any cultural barriers or break-throughs to be breached--it's very safe and expected when it comes to merging family traditions. Which, fine, whatever.
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CHRISTMAS WITH YOU (2022)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A pop star spends the holidays with her biggest fan, and her biggest fan's single dad, to remember why music--and family--matters.
OUR THOUGHTS: This one is GREAT if you can get past the awkward old-as-shit Dad pursuing a super hot, young pop star. You also get a Quinceañera, cringey serenades, choreographed group dances, and invasive family members. The Christmas vibes are STRONG throughout, and it is one of the few made-for-TV Christmas Movies that dives into the Latino-American Christmas experience. I can't speak to how authentic it is, but I really loved that they ate tamales instead of ham!
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CHRISTMAS WITH THE CAMPBELLS
(2022)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A recently dumped woman spends the holidays with her ex's family, and discovers she was with the wrong Campbell.
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OUR THOUGHTS: We genuinely laughed out loud multiple times during this cheeky take on the super weird Christmas-with-your-ex trope we see so often in holiday movies. Set against beautiful Idaho mountains and a picturesque small-town Christmas, there is no shortage of festive ambience in this movie. But, unlike other Christmas flicks set in quaint small towns, this one is outrageously funny, raunchy, and unexpected. We were, of course, perplexed when the giant family home only has one bathroom all the adults have to share, but that has happened in multiple Christmas movies at this point so we're just going with it. This is a super fun watch, but not one we'd recommend viewing with the kiddos.
CINDERELLA CHRISTMAS, A (2016)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA!
SYNOPSIS: A whiny rich boy spends a bunch of money on a Christmas party to find a girl he is in love with but doesn't know at all.
OUR THOUGHTS: Oy vey, send this back to Santa, NOW!!! A rich boy, who looks exactly like every boy named "Chris" you've ever dated, doesn't get to go on a date with the girl he likes (our Cinderella) so he makes his big Christmas party devoted to finding the girl/getting what he wants. Meanwhile, Cinderella's cousin steals her identity so she can win over Chris, but then cousin gets sick or something so Cinderella pretends to be the cousin who is already stealing Cinderella's identity....And then there's like a bunch of socks hanging from a tree and it just gets super weird but like the rich hot guy gets what he wants in the end, which is what Christmas is all about, right?
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CINDERELLA STORY: CHRISTMAS WISH, A (2019)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A teen gets the full Cinderella treatment with a modern twist, including live streams, choreographed dances, and an influencer "prince," and all of it set against the holidays.
OUR THOUGHTS: This one is very Christmas cringey, BUT it's a musical with not-too-terrible song-and-dance numbers, which is ALWAYS fun. Our Cinderella works at a Santa Village with her sassy best friend, and she captures the heart of the town's "it" boy--a modern day prince. She has actual "steps," who are just as terrible as the fairy tale, and there is even a big ol' ball where she gets a fancy dress. It is definitely kitsch, but it's Christmas Kitsch, and that's what makes it worth a viewing. Has a real DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie) vibe about it.
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CLÜSTERFÜNKE CHRISTMAS, A (2021)
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big city business boss bitch heads to a True North small town to try and buy the quaint, family-owned inn so it can be transformed into a massive resort. Along the way, she finds that there are more important things than business.
OUR THOUGHTS: Where has this been all our life?! It's the Not Another Teen Movie of Christmas Movies, but no Chris Evans because now he is a groomer of his 20-something-year-old wife and that's weird. Ana Gasteyer, Rachel Dratch, and Maya Rudolph are Queens of Christmas and Comedy in this slapstick, quirky festive ride. Sometimes you forget it's poking fun at holiday movies because it has some actual genuine moments. Lots of Christmas and LOLs in this one!
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CONFESSIONS OF A CHRISTMAS
LETTER
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: Christmas-obsessed Mom Settie hires a ghost writer to help her win the town Christmas letter competition, and in so doing creates a ruse that said writer is engaged to her failure daughter Lily.
OUR THOUGHTS: I'm sorry, Angela AND Kevin (from THE OFFICE) are in this one??? AND NO ONE TOLD ME? Angela is neurotic Mom Settie, who is obsessed with winning the obscure town competition for Best Christmas Letter, which goes up on some wall. It's all a little weird and dumb--even weirder when Settie pays for a writer to come from Mexico to help her write her Christmas letter for the letter wall tradition's twentieth anniversary. Yeah, an American pays someone from Mexico to come do their job. Imagine. But beneath all that nonsense is our love story, Lily and Juan (yes, the writer from Mexico is named Juan), who have some honest conversations that really show the kind of interdependent feedback we WANT TO SEE in relationships! What we don't want to see, though, is this movie again. I mean, it's fine. It's fine? It's fine. There are some heart-warming family moments, but overall, the vibe is weird. Because it is in such a small world with very unrelatable conflict (who cares about a letter wall, really?), it just kind of fell flat. Sidenote, we adore Angela Kinsey, and hope this is just the first of MANY Christmas movies for her!
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COUPLED UP FOR CHRISTMAS
(2023)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big city business boss bitch heads to a True North small town to try and buy the quaint, family-owned inn so it can be transformed into a massive resort. Along the way, she finds that there are more important things than business.
OUR THOUGHTS: Um, we love the delusional confidence of Tiffany, our leading lady, in the opening scene. It is worthy of some LOLz and also some cringe because we have totally been that person!!! But this movie has a lot more to love about it, so long as you are down for this wacky scheme to win back an ex using pure jealousy and nothing else--which we ARE. Healthy, mature relationships are so 2022. Once you lean into that, this movie is a great holiday rom-com that ticks all the boxes. It's stupid, yes, but that's part of its magic. We just wish that true love could happen as quickly as it does in Christmas movies, you know?
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COWBOY CHRISTMAS ROMANCE,
A (2023)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Big city slicker Lexi must return to her hometown to try and win over a stubborn rancher, closing a massive land deal for a mystery client that turns out to be someone Lexi never expected.
OUR THOUGHTS: Daammmmmmmmmmn. Can somebody find me a pro-choice cowboy STAT? This was probably the best romance we've seen in the Christmas romance category, only heightened by the romance of the American west (well, Arizona). Capitalizing on the Yellowstone hype, this really captured imagination when Lexi (played by Lifetime's Christmas queen Jana Kramer) left the big city to return home to horse country to close a big property deal. Her first night in town she has an instant connection with a cowboy at a bar who turns out to be our leading man and the very rancher she is there to do business with. He is ALSO her family's arch nemesis. There's a lot of tried and true romance tropes in this one but they worked for us--even down to the banging in the barn. Other Jingle Jollies included dead mom, a big winter storm, and a hot single dad. Thrilled to say this one will be a repeat watch for when we're feeling extra lonely and in need of a good cowboy.
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CREATING CHRISTMAS (2023)
RATING: .25 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A barely-talented children's book author and a manic pixie dream girl illustrator pair up to knock out a book over the holidays.
OUR THOUGHTS: Harper, our wild spirit leading lady, is the type of person who got kidnapped more than once as a kid. She is way too friendly, too jolly, and alarmingly oblivious to societal norms. She's really off-putting, but not any more than Caleb, the crotchety author who is in love with his old illustrator, Pete, which honestly, we get it. Pete can WORK a turtleneck and trench coat. And Caleb is like a washed up frat boy, all impressed and wowed by a $10 dress from the Ross's Juniors section. I did love that the gift store was called "Jingle Jolly," which is a term I coined in these reviews to mean any cliche Christmas thing. Anyway, this movie is, like, really not great, but I don't know if it's quite a "send back to santa...."
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CUPID FOR CHRISTMAS, A (2019)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: In order to get promoted to the big job of real-life "Cupid," a romance demigod is challenged to help a hopeless single professor find love by Christmas.
OUR THOUGHTS: Our hearts were all aflutter with this pleasant little flick. Merging the immortal/magical world with reality and Valentine's Day with Christmas, this movie doesn't feel quite as holiday-esque as we might hope, but the chemistry between our two leads, and the earnesty of our gang of gen z college students makes up for that. A good cast, a pretty creative premise, and a frenemy for the ages are all great elements of this film that will easily make you forget it was probably filmed in Canada, in July, and in three days.
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DASH & LILY (2020)
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS, TOP OF THE TREE!
SYNOPSIS: Two teens form a connection through a shared journal at Christmas time. They start falling for their mysterious pen pals and a wild adventure to find each other ensues.
OUR THOUGHTS: OK, so we know this isn't a movie, it's a TV series, but it is a must-watch EVERY year!
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DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
(2023)
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS FOR CASTING/1 FOR STORY
SYNOPSIS: Saint Nicholas himself gets caught up in a corrupt political scheme, and needs the help of a social worker (who hates Christmas) and his daughter (who is the most adorable person on earth) to save Christmas!
OUR THOUGHTS: WOW WOW WOW, the casting on this is SPECTACULAR. The best cast movie I've ever seen, in my life. Whoever did the casting at Disney deserves all the awards and is my favorite person (small hint--she is one of my favorite people and fellow producer who was one of my first L.A. frands). Unfortunately beyond the casting, this movie definitely left some things to be desired. It had the cast, the costumes, the bedazzling, the magic, the cheer, the laughs, the music--it had so much! So close to being a Christmas classic! BUT the premise was confusing and not well-communicated--so many of the story beats were delivered via dialogue (first rule of filmmaking is show, don't tell!), and it felt like entire scenes had been drastically moved or chopped altogether in edit. It was really disappointing for us to have so many holes and unexplained story elements, but for children who can't follow a movie storyline, this is great!!!
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DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS, THE
(2024)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Single parents Nia and Rashad accidentally swap phones and must swap lives if they are going to get everything they need this Christmas!
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie has a great premise, but it does get a little confusing up top with all the switching and swapping. Enemies Nia and Rashad must become comrades, which ultimately leads to more, after they and their kids pull off one crazy Christmas Eve. Even though they spend most of the film in different locations, the chemistry in this movie is really sweet. Nia has to handle Rashad's high-demand photography and custody engagements, while Rashad must deliver on high-pressure catering and mortgage appointments for Nia. There's super high stakes, which leaves you really invested, even if the ultimate resolution conflict is all too cheesy and impossible. Everything is possible in a made-for-TV Christmas movie!! EVEN THE CAR, OK!?!?! You'll get it when you watch it.
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DEAR SANTA(2024)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Jack Black stars as the Dark Lord who answers a Christmas letter sent to him after an honest spelling mistake.
OUR THOUGHTS: When young Liam, a boy with dyslexia, sends his Santa later, it gets mistakenly sent to Hell--probably because he accidentally wrote "Dear Satan." Satan's motivation to fake Santa for this rando kid is unclear at first, but this mystery reveals itself one beat at a time. Jack Black plays a delightful Lucifer, and awkward Liam has the kind of childhood trauma we can all relate to! We go on a ride of three wishes, then a big shock reveal about Satan. There is a weird whiplash when we learn about a super dark family tragedy...but this movie ties it all up with a big bow at the end. Plus we get a cameo from Post Malone, Keegan Michael Key plays a wackadoo doctor, and Ben Stiller has his biggest fashion moment since Zoolander. While this isn't going to top classics like ELF, it's a quality holiday comedy worth a watch!
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DECK THE WALLS (2024)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Interior Designer Rose returns to her small hometown to help brother Sal flip a home for Christmas charity, just like their (dead) parents used to do.
OUR THOUGHTS: HOLY SHIT. FINALLY. Homegoods, only the greatest most magical place on earth, shows up in this flick (or is it TJ Maxx? Whatever) and I couldn't be happier. How has it taken so long for Homegoods to get her own holiday movie? I mean, really. And as if that's not enough, Nutella also gets some product integration? Wow. Wow wow wow. I see you, Hallmark. Anyway, to the not important part of the movie: Edward Cullen's older sister stars in this as Interior Designer Rose--but the real Christmas Star here (other than Homegoods) is brother Sal. He is a sassy contractor with a love-hate crush on a hot reporter! Say less! There are some really great elements in this flick, not least of which is an open embrace of adults-in-therapy, citing key therapy buzz words like avoidant, trust issues, and even coping mechanisms. We really loved Hallmark leaning into this as opposed to just weaponizing these therapy mainstays as unspoken themes. Auntie GiGi is a spunky redheaded single lady that I aspire to be like someday, living in a massive house with a Mahjong club and a mysterious long-haul truck driving lover (he has murdered, we are sure of it). This heartwarming family business story has just the right amount of Christmas, romance, and corny Hallmark story points. I do wish we had gotten a Sal-Jake kiss at the end, but even without it, this is definitely worth watching!
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DELIVER BY CHRISTMAS (2020)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A hot (ish) single dad recruits the help of an actually hot baker to help with a charity Christmas cookie stand, but the baker has her eyes set on a mysterious stranger she keeps seeing around town...
OUR THOUGHTS: The hot single dad in this movie looks like Paul Rudd if he had to live in Ohio. A very FESTIVE town in Ohio, though! We really loved how fa-la-la-lovely the small town was in this movie, so definitely a go-to flick for small town holiday vibes. While they try to set up a mystery tone as the bakery seeks to discover who her strange handsome man is, it falls a little flat, and is resolved a little too quickly. And while there was a severe lack of baking, this movie made up for it with all that Christmas cheer we mentioned. This was one of the better Christmas romances, so definitely worth a viewing!
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DICKENS OF A HOLIDAY (2021)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: To make the 100th anniversary of her hometown’s Victorian festival a success, Cassie invites action movie star and former high school classmate Jake to play Scrooge in “A Christmas Carol.”
OUR THOUGHTS: This is classic holiday romance. A dork from high school who tried to woo the hot theatre girl (aka obnoxious, probably) ended up becoming a big-time actor, and comes home to save the town's performance of A CHRISTMAS CAROL by playing Scrooge when the actual actor has to drop out. Here's the kicker: hot girl from high school is directing the play! There isn't anything particularly special about this movie: nothing surprising, no extra holiday cheer or anything, just a small town in Ohio with some hot singles and family rifts. It's not BAD, but your life won't change a lot if you miss it...
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ENCHANTED CHRISTMAS (2017)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big city hospitality worker is charged with overseeing a renovation on a lodge in her hometown, and while there, she gets roped into participating in the annual dance show with her ex-partner.
OUR THOUGHTS: Second Best Spy Kid, Alexa Penavega, is the star of this Christmas dancing flick. And her leading man? Played by her husband, whose name I do not know, but he was in Big Time Rush and he has the face of a shit-eating kid who knows how to find pics of boobies online. What we LOVE about Alexa and hubs is their genuine, real-life chemistry--totally shines on-screen and makes them a believable couple we're cheering for as they prepare for the big dance extravaganza! There's also really believable tension for both Alexa and Big Time Rush, pulling their hearts away from the Enchanted Lodge and each other. As a bonus, the exteriors of this were filmed in Big Bear, so that is a huge plus for us. AND A BIG SURPRISE: The dances at the end were actually better than most Christmas dance routines!! While you don't need to watch on repeat, or even include in your annual viewing, this flick definitely has some good things going for it!
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ENCHANTED CHRISTMAS CAKE, THE (2021)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A small town baker unlocks the secret recipe for dead grandma's "Love Cake," a holiday favorite in her small town. The family recipe draws the attention of a major TV producer--as well as the greedy chef with whom he works.
OUR THOUGHTS: This is a little rough because our romantic male lead has had more work done to his face than the entire cast of REAL HOUSEWIVES, which is a little distracting. BUT we've got a bakery, we've got a family recipe passed down through the generations, we've got small town baker vs. flashy big city TV chef. A lot of good Jolly Jingles happening to keep the Christmas spirit alive and well. But if you're looking for sexy young leads, this is not it. Have you tried Dash and Lily?
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EUROPEAN CHRISTMAS, A
(2024)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Film director goes to Serbia to find a washed up actor and convince him to star in her shitty movies, as if he alone can save her career.
OUR THOUGHTS: Ivy Allen has our dream job: Writer/Director of cheesy Christmas romance flicks. She is definitely cut from a different mold than our regular Christmas movie leads, with their small town "clean beauty" countenance and Old Navy peacoats, but we are OK with it. This destination Christmas movie in Serbia (not to be confused with prison state Siberia) is unique in that it has an American (hot single dad) as our Serbian guide, but he's hot, so do we really care about cultural inauthenticity? Luckily, this film is pretty self-aware, and we get into the local Christmas cheer eventually with a chaotic ski day and a Christmas Market montage. We also really love the meta convos about just how important these cheesy Christmas movies are. Real stakes with Ivy's career amp up the conflict and make for believable tension. This movie has a lot of good elements, and, though cliche, is one of the better destination Christmas films.
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EVERYTHING CHRISTMAS (2023)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Christmas-aholic LJ quits her job to go on the ultimate Christmas trip to Yuletide Springs, only to get derailed by a mysterious man who leads her on the holiday-centric adventure of a lifetime.
OUR THOUGHTS: This is sort of cute, sort of sus. LJ and her best friend, Tori, embark on this road trip only to essentially be stalked by a weird old man who says his name is Kris Kringle, so sure, maybe it's Santa. But also maybe it's a murderer. As their trip tracks along, they get redirected by detours, all at Kris' wrinkly old hands, sending them to bespoke Christmas towns and experiences, and even sending two mid-looking dudes their way (every guy in this is a Pennsylvania 6). LJ does finally make it to Yuletide Springs, and the end sums up that magic is only as real we believe it to be...and that if Kris IS a murderer, the Mayor is fucking in on it.
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EXmas (2023)
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Graham shuns a Christmas deadline for work to surprise his family for Christmas--only to be surprised himself when he arrived home to find his ex-fiancé as his family's Christmas guest they had invited thinking he wouldn't make it.
OUR THOUGHTS: We loved this take on a fun family midwestern Christmas. The Minnesotan Stroop is quirky, wacky, warm, and full of love, though we will admit it's very strange they invited their son's ex-fiancé to Christmas--or stayed in touch with her at all. Luckily for us, this was a comedy, and we didn't really need to think too hard on the "believability" of it all. Robbie Amell, a personal favorite, gave a stellar rom-com performance opposite Leighton Meester, a face we've missed on our TV screens for too long. The whole film is very light-hearted, so when one scene delivers a huge gut punch of depth, it felt overwhelming. Luckily that dose of heaviness didn't last too long, and the film course corrected so we were back in rom-com-Christmas world quickly. This may not be one your watch every year, but should be on your list of a Christmas tradition, for sure!
FABLED HOLIDAY, A (2022)
RATING: HALF A CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: Two childhood friends, one of whom is a writer, end up staying at a magical inn from a mythical children's book.
OUR THOUGHTS: This one was a bit hard to stick with. It seemed to have a good premise, but it wasn't fantastical or whimsical enough to be a fairy tale or magical realism, and then it also wasn't believable or practical enough to be realism with Christmas magic. BUT, if escapism and magic are what you're looking for, this could be a good one to watch, so long as you aren't expecting the greatest movie of all time. There are plenty of other escapist, whimsical Christmas movies to watch first, though, in our opinion.
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FABRIC OF CHRISTMAS, THE
(2023)
RATING: 0 STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
SYNOPSIS: A hot firefighter offers to help fabric artist Amy get her community center up to code in exchange for her helping him quilt a wedding present for his sister's Christmas wedding.
OUR THOUGHTS: So...hm. I could see how someone who is super into quilting would like this movie. BUT, for the rest of us, I have some notes: First of all, while I really strive not to bash any of the leading ladies' physicalities, not everyone should rock a middle part. Second, I do not know what this camera setting/lighting schematic is, but this movie really leaned into the aesthetic of shooting on THE SURFACE OF THE SUN. Everyone was soo blown out and airbrushed, I felt like I was watching a dream sequence the entire film. Third, I really just didn't like the main actor, who played Amy. She was hard for me to like--which I recognize is a personal bias but if you want romantic chemistry between Amy and the hot firefighter, you're not gonna get it. So, move on. Finally, we felt little bursts of Christmas cheer here and there, and we really admired the world of quilting as a premise because it is unique and different, but overall, this just felt like a movie about a socially awkward woman who happens to be alive at Christmas time...? And then the big conflict was that Amy felt like she couldn't tell hot firefighter her true feelings for him because it might stop him from going on a temporary, not-gonna-last forever van life trip...? I mean, he's not DYING. Like you could still tell him you like him. Whatever. Bad movie.
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FALLING FOR CHRISTMAS (2022)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A spoiled rich girl gets amnesia and must live with a hot single dad at his down-home ski resort until she can remember who she is.
OUR THOUGHTS: Lindsay Lohan makes her long-awaited return in this awesome holiday take on Overboard. As a fellow ginger, I am so proud of my girl Lindsay. She was AMAZING in this film as a privileged heiress who finally gets her dream engagement ring, only to fall off a cliff (or something?) and get AMNESIA!!! The forgetful beauty ends up at a failing ski resort run by a hot single dad (Jingle Jolly alert!) and, as she tries to remember who she is, she finds the best version of herself--the version that can make beds! This has a lot to offer, including a small town rallying together to try and save the ski resort (is this hot single dad George Bailey or what?!?!). Not quite the made-for-TV classic as a Holiday in Handcuffs, but definitely one of the better Christmas flicks out there.
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FALLING LIKE SNOWFLAKES (2024)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A snowflake photographer teams up with her former flame/childhood friend to get the elusive photo of a 12-pointed snowflake during an epic snowstorm.
OUR THOUGHTS: The best part about Hallmark's Christmas In July new releases is that they were actually filmed in cooler months, so apart from the fake snow blowing in front of the camera to create a snowstorm effect, the snow is legit, the red cheeks aren't blushed on, and the breath turning to fog is LEGIT. And the real snow was perfect for this flick, which is about a Snowflake Photographer (Scientist?) and a (surprise) hot single dad. We love that our leading lady, Teagen, is another STEM-oriented nerd with her snowflake obsession, and that the leading man, an atmospheric scientist, matches her science freak. Meanwhile we get a great villain in the feaux-tographer, a quirky best friend, and the snow storm of the century--and, as can be expected, the danger and drama of this snowstorm is highly overdone. A lot of good elements for a cozy Christmas watch!
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FATHER CHRISTMAS IS BACK (2021)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A British family that has drifted apart is brought back together for the first family Christmas, and the disastrous aftermath of their reunion reminds this family (whose last name is Christmas) why they were apart in the first place...and also why they never should have been apart in the first place.
OUR THOUGHTS: Right off the bat, we are introduced to a shit-ton of characters: four daughters, their partners (if applicable), their kids (if applicable), the Mom, the Dad, the Dad's creepily young girlfriend, then there's an Uncle, there...it's like...a thousand people. And all of these people have beef with all of the other people, so it's A LOT to follow, and it's VERY British. However, it really delivers you to a British Christmas, so escapism is top-notch. But if you want to follow any semblance of a storyline, this is not it for you.
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FEAST OF THE SEVEN FISHES (2019)
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS, TOP OF THE TREE
SYNOPSIS: A blue-eyed blonde rich girl gets to see how the other half lives by partaking in an Italian family's Christmas Eve celebration, the Feast of the Seven Fishes.
OUR THOUGHTS: This is an ultimate favorite for us--not just because we ourselves are middle-class Italian-Americans who have had to cook one too many Christmas feasts in a too-small kitchen, but because we love the authenticity of the characters and their relationships. If you aren't already Italian, you'll want to be after watching this movie. And if Skylar Gisondo, who plays our leading man Tony, weren't basically a decade younger than me, I would do illegal things to be with him. My God he is adorable. Anyway, every person, every moment, every word of dialogue in this movie will have your heartstrings aflutter with intimate familiarity. Your jaw will drop and eyes tear up as each scene brings back potent memories of your own life, things that you have done, people you have known, words you have spoken or heard...God, it's so good and real you guys. We love it. BUON NATALE!
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FELIZ naviDAD (2020)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Hot single dad and school principal Mario Lopez starts dating again around the holidays at the insistence of his teenage daughter, only to forget the dry cleaning and ruin Christmas.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This movie doesn't have much of a holiday premise going on, it's really just about a dude dating during Christmas time. They tried to focus on the father-daughter relationships, and there were some heartwarming moment, but for the most part, everything felt insincere and disjointed until the very end. There was a music competition, a dad dating, and then the whole father-daughter dynamic, and all of those storylines were supposed to find resolution in a big Christmas music competition at the end when a dorky bell choir goes against the very cool Vocal Locos...but overall, we were left feeling a bit disappointed that there was really only about ten minutes worth watching in this movie. We DID love the cameo from Mario's Holiday in Handcuffs co-star, Melissa Joan Hart. If you have not seen Handcuffs yet, we highly recommend abandoning this movie and watching Holiday in Handcuffs instead.
FINDING FATHER CHRISTMAS (2016)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A woman travels across the country to unravel a family mystery at Christmas time.
OUR THOUGHTS: Wow. Just watching this movie gives you childhood trauma: we've got a woman, Miranda, whose mother DIED onstage performing A Christmas Carol, and she died before ever telling Miranda who her father is. Now, twenty years on from watching her Mom DIE, Miranda is on a hunt to discover the truth about her family--and herself. This movie was a healthy mix of drama, mystery, and small town holiday. It was not as quirky or cheerful as some other flicks, definitely felt more mature and somber. Very well-done, and the romance vibes are very cozy, but not necessarily a movie we feel should be the crown jewel of your Christmas experience. For those who love it, there is not one but TWO sequels following Miranda (Engaging Father Christmas and Marrying Father Christmas, which are strange titles because in this first part of the trilogy we can assume the "Father Christmas" is her Dad...and he is dead so she cannot marry him), so there's plenty more to enjoy!
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FINNISH LINE, THE (2024)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Anya competes in a Finnish dog sled race at Christmas to avenge her family name and cement herself as world's best person who does nothing while standing on a sled and yelling at dogs.
OUR THOUGHTS: So, I love dogs. And the dogs in this movie seemed really happy, so that's good. But I was skeptical--why are dogs having to pull lazy humans around for no reason other than sport? I also found it suspicious that so many Americans were up at the Arctic Circle at the same time. But even with all my misgivings, this movie ended up being enjoyable. Cole was legitimately hot, and cousin Lavi was downright adorkable. We loved the villain turn of Monty, as well, and getting to see reindeer AND the Northern Lights, no matter how CGI they may have been, felt sooo Christmas-y. The big moment of life or death action in this film was surprisingly realistic and high-stakes! Usually when we get a "storm of the century" as the big source of conflict, we're lucky if the main character so much as slips on some ice. Anya straight up almost DIES. After all that adrenaline, the final "almond in the porridge" revelation felt anti-climactic and super...Finnish?
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FIR CRAZY (2013)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big city marketing exec loses her job and boyfriend on the same day, and is forced to return to her family's tree selling business in NYC, but she must deal with a serious Scrooge unless she wants to lose another job.
OUR THOUGHTS: Within the first three minutes of the film, our leading lady, Elise, has really hit a low point: she's lost her job, her boo, and has to go back to selling Christmas trees in the bitter NYC cold. This movie really plays like a love story to New York at Christmas time, showing off the city's spirit for the holidays. But don't worry, the storyline of the film is still stupid simple and does not distract you from the Christmas joy: girl's life sucks, girl meets hot guy, girl gets hot guy, girl loses hot guy, girl fucks up family business, girl eats pizza, girl saves the day, girl tries to get hot guy back...you know how it goes.
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FIVE STAR CHRISTMAS (2020)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Big city girl goes home to disocver her DAd has turned the family home into a Bed and Breakfast, and she has to spend her Christmas convincing a brutal critic the place is worth a whole five stars!
OUR THOUGHTS: This is a great example of the perfect made-for-TV Christmas movie in terms of its plot, meet-cute, characters, small town charm, and overall Christmas cheer. It even has a musical serenade that didn't make us cringe! So why only 3 Christmas Stars instead of the coveted 5 star ranking? This is because we don't feel like we need to watch this multiple times, or revisit it every year. But if you're wanting the quintessential cheesy Christmas romance movie with a bad plot and worse dialogue that makes your heart go all gooey and soft, this is a great option for ya!
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FLIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
THE (2015)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Recently dumped Stephanie and stuck-in-a-long-distance-relationship Michael end up in a frenemies-to-friends-to-awkward kiss when cancelled holiday travel strands them in Montana.
OUR THOUGHTS: Mayim Bialik's first (and only?) made-for-TV Christmas movie is pure 2015 gold. You would think this movie would be slow and low action, given that it really just centers around a plane, then a shared room at an inn...But really this movie and the Montana town of Charles Peak was able to deliver quality small town Christmas cheer. The chemistry between Stephanie and Michael, though, was mid. I would have expected more for what is clearly a toxic rebound situation. Oh there's also a random stranger who is probably Santa--an old magical realism trope we just don't see enough in these 2024 made-for-TV movies. I'm not saying we SHOULD bring back these old mysterious men who seem to have no homes or boundaries. I'm just saying...they used to be a thing. Anyway, if you're looking for a "stranded travelers" rom-com, we recommend starting with HOLIDAY ROAD. If you're looking for the inn angle, CHRISTMAS INHERITANCE is a good start. Basically, watch anything that is NOT this movie...
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FLIPPING FOR CHRISTMAS (2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big city realtor and a small town carpenter must work together to flip an old house, but they can't agree on anything. Big city forces threaten the small town with gentrification, and the realtor finds herself torn.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie REALLY delivers on our classic Christmas Jingle Jollies, even down to the red peacoat with matching bold red lip! There is no shortage of small town or holiday vibes, and the premise is very believable. But when it came to the big city realtor's change-of-heart, she hadn't committed enough of a crime-against-christmas to warrant that kind of character arc we really need and want. Because she hadn't really done anything wrong, nor had any Grinchiness about her, the small town carpenter's moment of being the victim fell flat and whiny, and really made him unlikable. BUT if you just skip that scene altogether, the movie's pretty good!
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FOLLOWING YONDER STAR (2024)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Scandal-ridden actor Abby ends up spending Christmas at a small town inn run by a hot single Dad, and then also there is something happening with a star.
OUR THOUGHTS: The KISS in this movie, you guys! So, classically, Hallmark movies really only get one good kiss in, and it's at the very end. But this one was worth the WAIT. I was not expecting it because the movie got a little preach-y, what with the magical "Christmas Star" and the nativity pageant. This flick feels very "now" with Abby the actor's social media meltdown, and we are loving how META Hallmark is getting this year with their "cheesy TV rom-com movie star" trope in a cheesy TV rom-com movie. This movie went a little off the rails with a random ball in which Abby wore a wedding dress, but apparently the whole living-without-a-mask was a pivotal character point so...sure. Also totally just connected the storyline of Abby, the STAR as an actor, and then the actual Christmas star event that happens at the end of the film. I see what you did there, title.
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FRIENDS & FAMILY CHRISTMAS
(2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Two women who couldn't be more different feign a relationship to keep their parents' off their backs, and wind up getting caught up in the magic of love and Christmas.
OUR THOUGHTS: It was not super easy to pay attention during this one. For one thing, it's about the most boring made-for-TV Christmas movie trope that exists: people pretending to date who then end up actually falling for each other and dating. The twist on this was that it's lesbians, which, good for you Hallmark! But also...I will say of all the (2? 3?) made-for-TV lesbian Christmas movies, it's definitely not the worst, but it also doesn't compare to HAPPIEST SEASON EVER. If you want Christmas and you want lesbians, check that out first.
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FURRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS (2021)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A big-city veterinarian falls for a small-town doctor when he sets out to recreate a New York City Christmas in her Vermont hometown.
OUR THOUGHTS: There's nothing particularly amazing about this film, but it is a classic made-for-TV Christmas rom-sorta-com. Big City Hot single Mom with a booming career as a veterinarian returns home to her small town and falls for the hot somehow-still-single doctor. We've got small town cheer, and the chemistry between the leads is believable--they're both very attractive Canadian actors, which we love. So while there's nothing super special about this one, it pairs well with hot cocoa and some TikTok tarot reading about finding your holiday love! OH AND THERE'S DOGS!
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GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST (2021)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A female game designer sees a fortune teller at a holiday party and learns she is doomed to spend her life without love if she doesn't right the wrongs of her past dates: in other words, she has to pay a visit to every dude she's ghosted.
OUR THOUGHTS: We really liked this one! It was a super fun modern twist into the Dickensian pattern of multiple past anecdotes building toward a common objective for our character. It also focused on the very real American pastime of ghosting, and we loved that it was a FEMALE doing the ghosting, not the stereotypical fuckboi. The only hiccup was the heavy-handed "magic" thrown in to act as a catalyst for this ghost hunt. So you have this very real thing of ghosting and apologizing to the ghosted, but it co-exists with a very fantastical thing of a magical fortune teller and the potential of being cursed to be alone forever. It's a little wonky, but overall, a good one!
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GINGERBREAD CHRISTMAS, A (2022)
SYNOPSIS: A big city architect must team up with a local baker, with whom she shares some serious tension, to save her beloved hometown bakery.
OUR THOUGHTS: Definitely not the highest production value, for starters. What was really missing in this movie was SPARK. I didn't believe that our architect and baker were truly in love. Ace of Cakes Duff Goldman makes an appearance, but he gives off the vibe of the kid at the party no one wants there because he has no siblings and is sooooo weird and uncomfortable and probably collects socks. Oh and the baker man has an child that feels like an unnecessary and, at times, hindering addition. And their gingerbread houses are small and dinky. They are basically schools for ants.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This holiday version of John Tucker Must Die had all the bones to be a GREAT made-for-TV Christmas Movie...Unfortunately, it was clearly a bad case of men writing women characters. It felt like the ultimate message was a bit victim-blame-y, like it's the women's fault for picking the shitty guys to date instead of the nice guys. Sounds like the script was written by a nerd who has been overlooked by girls his whole life, and also wrote himself into the script as Carter. And then there's this weird fat-shaming scene at the end where her Mom is like "don't eat pie!!!"??? However, it is a fun ride, and probably one of the better-made Christmas movies, so we give it 2.5 stars, but please remember: eat all the pie you want.
GIRLFRIENDS OF CHRISTMAS PAST (2016)
SYNOPSIS: A broken-hearted event planner rounds up former partners of her most recent ex, all three of them having shared nearly identical relationships with the same man. This new sisterhood work together to exact a Christmas-timed revenge on the fuckboi in question.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A sudden engagement sends antique appraiser Paula into a tailspin just before Christmas, so she goes to Martha's Vineyard for some fresh air and ends up finding her destiny--and true love!
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OUR THOUGHTS: Luckily, this film kicks off by defining what a godwink is, which makes you wonder if it is a term made up just for this film because I sure as hell have never heard of it and BOTH my Grandmas had the "footprints in the sand" poem framed. So I feel like if godwink were a thing, I'd know...Speaking of Grandmas, this is the first film in the Godwink Christmas stories starring the timeless Kathie Lee Gifford as a rich, magical, single Aunt who also happens to be a writer. She is basically my future self. Anyway, nothing screams Christmas quite like Kathie Lee (who defines godwink AGAIN in dialogue, because it's not a thing), besides maybe the literal magical twinkle sound every time there's a meetcute co-winky-dink moment in this classic Christmas movie. Really reeks of made-for-TV Christmas pre-streaming--there's even a taxi! The only thing missing was Harry Connick Jr. crooning to all the community center poor kids! This is a good one if you are really craving an escape to Christmas cliche, don't mind jazz music, and think attractive men can be named "Gary." It's basically a bowl of comforting chicken noodle soup--in a movie!
GODWINK CHRISTMAS, A (2018)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: An unemployed writer is living with her parents when her younger brother mischievously tricks a struggling pop star to live with them for Christmas.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Christmas really isn't complete without raging alcoholism and a tyrannical Pastor Dad, and this movie proves it! It even has an orphan! This movie got real preachy, real fast, but the promise of a cringey acoustic serenade by a Lachey brother (the less hot one, though) kept us hanging in there. And boy were we glad we stuck around! This movie did redeem itself with some good song-writing sessions and a genuine chemistry between our leads.
GUESS WHO'S COMING FOR CHRISTMAS (2013)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A recent break-up sends Emily home for the holidays to Evergreen Lane with her parents. BUT, Mom and Dad, who are usually in charge of Evergreen Lane's epic Christmas celebrations, leave Emily alone with their Christmas-obsessed neighbors.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Emily is very undisturbed by her Act 1 break up, hinting that she may be a sociopath, but she is a lovable sociopath. The obnoxious HOA on Evergreen Lane is psychotic about Christmas, so Emily fits right in, although at first she struggles with getting re-accustomed to her hometown's rabid obsession with the holidays. The movie is lite on romance, but heavy on festivity, which was refreshing, but if you're looking for chemistry, Emily and her boo thang will not deliver. I did super appreciate that Emily was not the BEST at anything: cookie baking, decorating, etc., she was just average, but happy to be a part of it, which felt very realistic and relatable.
HAUL OUT THE HOLLY (2022)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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SYNOPSIS: Tori gets laid off from her big lawyer job right before an expected promotion, and finds herself standing in as bartender at a local bar to help them bring Hanukkah magic to the establishment.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie is cute, but pretty low-action. It gets a bit boring, and the punny Hannukah craft cocktails could only sustain so much of the film. We loved the 'everyone knows your name' vibe of Rocky's, the speed dating, and the Cohen candle meet-cute, the sassy Bubby was also a nice touch. BUT we wished there had just been more active elements: maybe a craft cocktail competition to save the bar, whose backrent was really piling up. Or a deep frier-induced oil fire that burns down the bar's kitchen (trying to make donut holes, of course), so the team has to raise a bunch of money to rebuild? It just felt like it was missing the big, cheesy made-for-TV holiday movie hook. You should really watch this movie just for the best holiday movie line ever: "Happy people don't order bagels with strawberry cream cheese."
HANUKKAH ON THE ROCKS (2022)
RATING: 1.5 STARS OF DAVID
HAUL OUT THE HOLLY: LIT UP
(2023)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: We are back at Evergreen Lane for another year of hyper-holiday hijinks, as a new family moves in and threatens to destroy the way of Christmas on Evergreen Lane forever.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Unlike most sequels, this one was just as good as the original, keeping up the HOA holly-jolly nightmare of Evergreen Lane's Christmas-obsessed occupants. This year, Emily Melrose is no longer wanting to avoid the holidays, but is running the show by boyfriend Jared's side...it's quite the 180 from last year. This movie does a great job of making the villains, the Jolly Johnsons, both unlikable and hilarious, but the big conflict feels completely unresolvable. In fact, the climax doesn't really solve anything, just cuts the tension with a moving speech, setting up a great premise for Haul Out The Holly's third movie, if we're lucky!
SYNOPSIS: Heidi Heidelberg (she is a person, not a doll) gets the chance of a lifetime to sell her handmade ornaments at the Heidelberg, Germany Christmas Market. But she finds more than commerce in her family's hometown...
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OUR THOUGHTS: We are headed to Bavaria in this destination holiday film, and it really does scream Christmas! Although a bit iffy about this movie's title font looking so similar to the font used in pretty much all Nazi propaganda...Kudos for staying on theme, though? The setting of this movie is really beautiful, and we loved how they leaned into the German traditions and food--even though when speaking the native language it sounded like they were constantly choking on their own tonsils. (I'm allowed to say this because my family is part-German...I think?) The main conflict for the film is really dragged out, but the climax delivers on a soul-crushing moment, which makes the redemption even more rewarding. Cute overall, but characters are all kind of...the same? It felt like watching a lot of cups of bread pudding celebrate Christmas. But still cute!
HEIDELBERG HOLIDAY (2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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HOLIDATE (2020)
SYNOPSIS: Two attractive singles make a pact to solve the age-old problem of finding a plus one to holiday events: they just always bring each other. But what happens when you add feelings to a plus-one arrangement?
OUR THOUGHTS: We had our doubts about this one feeling Christmas-y enough--and there is quite a long gap between festive vibes in this movie as we follow our plus-one singles to multiple events throughout the year. HOWEVER, the will they/won't they, friends-turned-to-lovers storyline keeps you hanging around for the big Christmas scenes. The best part of this movie, apart from the genuine chemistry between our plus-ones, is that it gives you hope that a dude will still like you even after you shit your pants in front of him.
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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HOLIDAY AT HAPPY
HOLLOW (2024)
SYNOPSIS: Real Estate Developer Gracie must win over a town, and its very rigid historian, for her big hotel project to move forward--but the town might win GRACIE over instead.
OUR THOUGHTS: Ya'll know I love a Christmas Tree Farm movie--maybe it's my inner Swiftie or the fact that my family would cut down our own trees every year, but there's something about citizen-led deforestation that makes my little Christmas heart happy. So I was a bit disappointed when very little of this movie took place on the farm, but delighted at the movie's actual premise. Gracie enlists the help of stuck up town historian Jack to track down five outstanding land deeds she needs ownership of for her big hotel project to move forward, and the two end up partaking in several Happy Hollow holiday traditions. This movie had a lot of cheer, fun, romance, quirk, and real stakes that created real tension between Jack and Gracie. The HIGHLIGHT of this film was Gracie's androgynous tuxedo STUNNER for the big holiday ball. I was really surprised by just how much I liked this movie, it was an unexpected joy. One of the better "small town Christmas cheer" flicks I've seen! I just wish Jack didn't look like a World War I ghost. But whatever.
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This take on the countdown Christmas calendar movie is a healthy dose of Christmas vibes, small town holiday, and family bonds--a perfect recipe for a good made-for-TV movie. A photographer's family Christmas calendar starts leaving her clues each day, and she thinks it is leading her to find her true love in the form of a dashing new beau...But the magic of Christmas has something greater in store. We've also got best friends with crushes, working at a Santa Village photo booth, and a Dad in ugly sweaters to really ramp up the holiday spirit.
HOLIDAY CALENDAR, THE (2018)
SYNOPSIS: A photographer discovers the magic of her family's Christmas calendar will guide her to find true love--and maybe finally start her own photography studio.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: DAMMMNNN shit starts HEAVY in this one. Two sisters who are constantly feuding lose their Dad unexpectedly to a heart attack on Christmas. And then, pretty much immediately, they git hit with news the family production company is going under. Within ten minutes this movie has you INVESTED, and we applaud that. There's real stakes, real heartache, real conflict, and the characters have clear archetypes with plenty of room for depth. We. Love. It. The movie does start to drag a bit as most of the action is really just conversation, and it isn't the most festive in terms of Christmas cheer (it takes place throughout the year with holiday bookends). What we did love was that each character had a super defined arc and clear pay-out, and that it was more about sister love than anything else.
HOLIDAY CHANCE, A (2021)
SYNOPSIS: The sudden passing of their father leaves two sisters forced to work together to try and save the family company.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Remember how WEDDING CRASHERS was all about two straight men lying just to get laid? Well HOLIDAY CRASHERS is nothing like that--it is SO much better. Two women, Bri and Toni, lie their way around the hottest Christmas parties in town, not with any sordid motives but because they deserve to have fun! It's Christmas! This movie's first act is super fun, with party and party, crash after crash, and some genuine moments of comedy. And the men in this movie, Justin and Vinny, are legit smokeshows! I'm pretty sure Justin was Notre Dame's old man quarterback, who is now like a baby coach somewhere....IYKYK. One of Bri and Toni's biggest lies gets complicated, and Toni ends up getting hired by Justin as a legal consultant while on his company's big Christmas retreat. So the actual crashing bit of the movie slows down once we get into it, but the flick still has plenty of tension from the web of Bri's and Toni's lies, and both leading actresses are excellent with comedy. Big props for the REAL and BELIEVABLE stakes and tension that drive Toni and Justin's romance to the peak of conflict, and the full year we wait for resolution. We end on a full-circle moment with Justin CRASHING a party he wasn't invited to. This movie doesn't really have much to do with Christmas, and isn't necessarily super Christmas-y, but it IS a good movie and worth a watch.
HOLIDAY CRASHERS (2024)
SYNOPSIS: Best friends Bri and Toni crash several holiday parties and find themselves in a much bigger lie than they expected. Their ruse takes them all the way to Vermont under SEVERAL false pretenses, and they need to either come clean or risk getting their hearts broken (or arrested).
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Have you ever wondered what would happen if Joanna finally got rid of that useless dingleberry Chip, pursued her own design TV career, and found success as an independent woman?! Well, this movie kind of delivers on that! But replace Joanna with Sam, and Chip with Coop, Sam's ex who works as a contractor with Sam, a designer, to help overhaul their local inn after it gets attacked by a storm. This movie is overflowing with small town Christmas vibes, with fun local traditions interspersed amongst our scenes of fake Jo and Chip rehabbing the inn. One such tradition is the most epic snowball battle we've ever seen. A lot of the backstory is crammed into Act 3, so the warm and fuzzy movie gets a healthy dose of heartbreaking exposition, which drives you into a big moment that sort of feels out of nowhere, but you're also like, "well, it's small town Christmas and they're both super hot, so it's fine."
HOLIDAY FIX UP, THE (2021)
SYNOPSIS: High school sweethearts and bitter exes must work together to restore a beloved hometown inn that was damaged after a storm--and all in time for Christmas.
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: When her real boyfriend dumps her right before Christmas, Katie hires a fake "Dean" so her family doesn't think she is an IDIOT single person.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Yikes on bikes. This movie's only saving grace was the roomie, Sarah, who seems to have a similar problem with DoorDash as every other millennial. Lead lady Katie gets dumped by douchey boyfriend just before the holidays, and apparently her family hates her so much that Katie can't show her face at Christmas without the promised boyfriend--so she hires a fake one, a fake Dean (real name Josh), so as not to spend yet another holiday as the "single sister." We have to stop thinking that being single is bad. I mean, have you MET men? I'm embarrassed to admit I'm dating one, much less humiliating to be single. But also, I do get it: Katie's family kind of sucks. Her Mom sewed a whole stocking for Dean, whom she'd never even met, before the big Christmas meeting. And initially I thought Julia, Katie's sister, was the problem because her child marriage to her school sweetheart and knee-length denim skirt SCREAMED "fundie cult." However, as it turns out, Katie is just an insane person who thinks she is in competition with Julia, and the only way to best Julia is for Katie to fake an engagement to a man she is PAYING to spend time with her. This whole movie was insane, but perhaps the weakest point was that the big reveal scene, the moment the entire plot hinges on, WASN'T EVEN IN THE MOVIE. THEY SKIPPED IT. One scene, no one knows what's going on, the next one, they all know...with no big moment in between. Talk about cheaping out on story. Please send back to Santa.
HOLIDAY FOR HIRE (2024)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
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OUR THOUGHTS: This was a delightful little gem to discover, as most Christmas films with musicians are nothing but cringe. Like how many acoustic covers of Oh, Holy Night do we really need to hear??? And while this one is very corny, predictable, and oh-so-cheesy, it is just the right amount of camp to get the Christmas movie butterflies going. Will give you PTSD if you have ever been stuck in Oklahoma, though.
HOLIDAY HARMONY (2022)
SYNOPSIS: An up-and-coming singer gets stranded in Oklahoma on her way to L.A. But while chasing her big city dream, she realizes what she always looked for was in this small town.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A heartbroken chef takes a job working as Holiday Hotline operater, and falls for one of her callers--who also happens to be the hot single dad architect she hates in real life.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Abby is doing her best to cheer up after a terrible break-up that involved quitting her chef boyfriend and restaurant just before the holidays. So she heads to Chicago to clear her head and heal her heart--and to be fair, Chicago is a magical place at Christmas, but that lake effect cold will just turn her broken heart into ice. At any rate, we liked getting to see the Christmas Market and the nod to Chicago's glorious architecture. And while the mistaken or faked identity trope is nothing new to holiday movies, the idea that both our leading people were falling in love with both versions of each other was cute, though not as conflicting as the film wanted us to believe. Again, we were left without real stakes other than a whiny man who was pissed he got misled/lied to etc. Blah blah blah. Did not hate, though!
HOLIDAY HOTLINE (2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: You guys. This is Christmas gold. Must-watch, every year. Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez are FIRE together, both comedically and romantically. Every character in this just SINGS: each family member has their own believable arc, despite the whole premise of this being just absolutely bonkers. It all starts with a perm gone horribly wrong, and escalates from there, in the most relatable, lovable mental meltdown ever filmed. We love this one!!
HOLIDAY IN HANDCUFFS (2006)
SYNOPSIS: A struggling artist holds a man hostage and makes him pretend to be her boyfriend on her family's Christmas getaway.
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS, TOP OF THE TREE
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OUR THOUGHTS: I've never had any desire to go to Santa Fe, let alone at Christmas, but this film changed my mind!! Very unique setting for a holiday movie, but an awesome way to dive into family, heritage, and an artisan community. A.C. Slater (Mario Lopez) does wear more make-up than his female co-star, but what can you do about that? The family business tension between wanting to sell out and wanting to stay local is as strong as always in the made-for-TV Christmas world, as is the big city-small town/star-crossed lovers trope. Love it all!
HOLIDAY IN SANTA FE (2021)
SYNOPSIS: A big shot city executive wants to license a Santa Fe family's line of holiday gifts, but not everyone is on-board. While in Santa fe in an attempt to woo the family, the exec ends up getting wooed herself!
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Ummm not the Aunts of Sabrina making a Christmas movie!!!!!! AND THEY SAY "WHAT ARE YOU, A WITCH?" AT THE END!?!?! Caroline Rhea and Beth Broderick play two meddling Moms, Barb and Kath, who become frenemies when retired Business Bitch Kath joins Barb's Christmas Committee. We really love how this holiday rom-com is much more about the enemy Moms who set up their adult children and not about the adult children themselves--a brilliant move to target multiple audience demographics while still getting a holiday romance movie without it leaning 100% on the romance for our story and stakes. It also makes the enemies-to-partners comedy the star of this movie--and these enemies aren't lovers, they are the Moms!! The small town Christmas vibes set the stage for a truly jolly holiday viewing experience. Big thumbs up on this creative new way into the age-old made-for-TV Christmas Movie, Hallmark!! It won't be a full five Christmas Stars, though, because it still has a pretty cringey height of conflict that is less than relatable, but still, this is a good one!!! Check it out!
HOLIDAY MISMATCH (2024)
SYNOPSIS: After being set up on a date by their Moms, two singles hatch a fake-dating scheme to get their nosy maternals out of their dating lives, not knowing their Moms are work enemies at the Christmas Committee for the town. The Moms then go from setting up their kids to trying to sabotage their kids' love lives in this whacky Christmas comedy.
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: The always epic "stranded at the airport by a winter storm" Jingle Jolly makes perhaps our favorite appearance in this surprising film about a group of strangers who become so much more than friends. We were fully expecting a lame and exhausted batch of archetypal, predictable characters, and while there was an element of expectability (enemies to lovers, Christmas trauma creates a Scrooge, annoying Gen Z-er constantly on TikTok, car troubles, etc.), we loved the moments of total holiday originality. An epic van karaoke scene, a single Mom who DOESN'T have custody, and I was NOT prepared for Annie! A road trip is the PERFECT device to incorporate all kinds of Christmas cheery, and Holiday Road really cashed in. This is one of our top movies this year, for sure!
HOLIDAY ROAD (2023)
SYNOPSIS: A huge storm cancels all travel, and a group of travelers rent a van together to make the trip themselves, by car, in time for the holidays.
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This film takes place in 1950-racist (or 1958, I guess) New York and has some fun old-timey music, Newsies hats, towncars, and pointy bras. We love that this film is about the Rockettes, one of our favorite American institutions. We love that Ann-Margaret makes a cameo. We love the sisterhood of the dancers. And we love the classic New York Christmas giving some real "Miracle on 34th Street" vibes. The best part is the dancing, though, especially considering there were REAL Rockettes in it! Much to my delight, the big Radio City debut scene featured the classic Rockette kickline and the robotic Parade of the Wooden Soldiers. But with all the dance and New York social gaieties, you do kind of lose the plot as to why Maggie is lying to her family about being in New York in the first place. This is a quaint old-timey type Christmas flick, and definitely worth a watch if you're the type that got too obsessed with "The Notebook" and "Pearl Harbor." On the other hand, it's NOT worth a watch if you're the type that likes movies that keep your attention the whole time.
HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR (2022)
SYNOPSIS: Maggie lands a role on the Radio City Rockettes for their Christmas show, and sneaks away from her family, home, and fiancee to make her dance dreams come true.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: The much-anticipated NFL/Hallmark mash up has finally arrived. Starring in this is the Hallmark actress who looks like Joey King but isn't Joey King (spoiler, she is Joey King's real life sister!)--she plays Kansas City Chiefs diehard fan, Alana. Starring opposite as her heart throb is Derrick, played by none other than Hallmark's Christmas King himself, Tyler Hines. Seeing so many NFL and Kansas City merch and logos and jerseys in the family store blew my mind, as a producer who has long dealt with licensing assets from sports leagues. Did this scene alone look super expensive to anyone else, or just me? AND THEN FILMING AT ARROWHEAD WITH JUST PHOTOS AND BRANDS EVERYWHERE THIS IS BREAKING MY BRAIN.
Also breaking my brain: I have legitimately been thinking this movie was just another Taylor-Travis duplicate, a la Lifetime's CHRISTMAS IN THE SPOTLIGHT. But this movie was far too clever to just try and rip off America's best love story. Instead, it follows Alana and her family as they compete for "Fan of the Year," aided by the help of Director of Fan Engagement Derrick. Tapping into the magic of football superstitions and signs, Alana and Derrick have an adorable Hallmark romance, and the Chiefs have a Hallmark Christmas Day game in Arrowhead. Oh and Santa is a straight up thief, so that seems problematic....? This movie is much more than just a commercial for the Chiefs (though it is that). It's about how sports go beyond the field and into our homes, hearts, and traditions. It also is a interesting commentary on the psychopathy of fanaticism. Most importantly it's about family and community and, even though I vehemently abhor the NFL, I was delighted with this flick. I probably won't watch it every year, but it's still a cute one!
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HOLIDAY TOUCHDOWN: A
CHIEFS LOVE STORY (2024)
SYNOPSIS: Diehard Chiefs fan Alana and her family are up for "Fan of the Year" thanks to a magical family tradition and the help of new-to-Kansas City Derrick, who works on the Chiefs' fan engagement team.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: This is a classic, and really hits on all the greatest made-for-TV Christmas tropes: alternate realities. Big city vs small town. Marketing job. Former loves reunited. The snowstorm of the century. A SMALL TOWN INN! If you can get over the whole made-in-2013 and super-low-budget and actually-filmed-in-July thing, you are in for a treat with this one.
HOLIDAZE (2013)
SYNOPSIS: A corporate, big city girl returns to her hometown, slips and hits her head and wakes up in an alternate reality where she never left said hometown and married her high school sweetheart.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: The whole puppeteer thing really threw us for a loop on this one. But 10 points for originality: have never seen a puppeteer in any made-for-TV Christmas movie, like, ever. There was a real Americana vibe about the small industrial town our puppet queen goes back to, and her best friend character MAKES the movie--all 1.5 Christmas Stars are for her. She was great. BUT the rest of the movie was just...meh. Definitely nailed the sad hometown vibe, though. Just not the top of our list for "gets fired, must go to sad hometown" Christmas movies. BUT 10/10 for the best friend. Really.
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HOLLY STAR (2018)
SYNOPSIS: An aspiring puppeteer gets fired from her puppet job in the big city and returns home to work at her family's Christmas Tree stand. In the process, she gets looped into a holiday-adjacent treasure hunt, and discovers the TRUE treasure of love.
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: There is some genuine comedy in this one!!! Which was a nice surprise. Truly enjoy the male lead having a quirky Christmas-leaning name, Rudy! And our woman lead also has a predictable holiday name--Holly. And a shitty boyfriend, named Tommy from Boston. So we are starting off strong with archetypes. The cliche characters keep on giving as we get deeper into some of the BEST small town cheer I've seen, with the the only downer really being that the hot chocolate man is definitely on a government watch list--and probably not allowed near schools. There are of course some pitfalls you'd expect in a cheesy Christmas movie, but this one is worth the watch--I may even watch it again this year!
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HOLLY AND THE HOT CHOCOLATE
(2022)
SYNOPSIS: A culinary writer gets temporarily stranded on her way to a holiday with the boyfriend, but finds getting trapped in the cheerful Pine Falls is the greatest Christmas gift of all.
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: So...if you can look past the fact that this woman has a crush on a mannequin, like before she bumps her head, this movie is a fun little ride. It's very cliche Christmas movie: Nothing really makes it stand out, given that it's lead is a blonde named Holly and she is stuck in a love triangle and is also trying to get a big break at her fancy big city job. Let me guess, she works in marketing of some sort? YEP! Not a "send it back to santa" but also not at the top of the list if you're looking for quality Christmas movies. Definitely a good one if you're stoned/drunk/depressed and just need some schlock.
HOLLY'S HOLIDAY (2011)
SYNOPSIS: A slip-and-fall leaves Holly with a big bump to the head--and a new boo in the form of the perfect man--but is he too good to be true?
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: As a TV producer, this was the most depressing film to watch during a strike, but also the most heartwarming. Really REALLY loved this movie because it ultimately captures the magic of making a production--Christmas or otherwise--happen! Plus it has a pug mix dog, just like us!!! There is quite a lot happening in this Inception-istic Christmas movie within a Christmas movie, but it all tracks along in a cohesive way, and you never feel like you're losing the plot. There is a creeper Santa, a bad guy-turned-good guy, and a super uncomfortable and contrived point of realization for our primary villain. AND, even though admittedly taking place in July in L.A., they do not sacrifice an OUNCE of Christmas vibes. Add to your watch list, near the top!
HOLLYWOOD CHRISTMAS, A (2022)
SYNOPSIS: A Christmas movie producer is threatened with a department shutdown, and finds herself living in her own Christmas movie IRL.
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: The premise of this film actually wasn't bad, but the execution was screaming low-budget Canada movie. Now, usually I love low-budget Canada, it's my favorite kind of Canada, but this was.....tough. Half a star for originality of concept, but....yikes. It looks like it was made in 2005 and it was a 2023 release, making it feel worse somehow? You can skip this one, for sure.
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, A (2023)
SYNOPSIS: A woman and a single dad end up racing against the clock to try and rehab an old house before it gets condemned, and it happens at Christmas...?
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Not a bad watch at all--Grandma's secret recipe is this small town's most infamous holiday treat, but its reign is threatened when a super hot coffee store owner opens his shop right next door to the family bakery. WTF?! This one really upped the ante on the enemies-turned-lovers storyline with an unexpected disaster, taking things darker than most Christmas movies dare (spoiler: there's a massive fire--talk about HOT chocolate!). A cute story overall but not a must-watch.
HOT CHOCOLATE HOLIDAY (2021)
SYNOPSIS: A woman's secret hot chocolate makes her bakery famous, but when a rival bakery opens next door, she realizes the white male owner has the EXACT SAME HOT COCOA. She tries to figure out how he got her recipe!
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: It's TED!!!!! Our favorite Schitt's Creek golden retriever takes on the role of a lovable snow sculpture come to life in this sexy take on children's classic "Frosty the Snowman." This is a very whimsical holiday movie, and has no shortage of Christmas cheer--but you do need to take in the magic with arms wide open, otherwise you're gonna get very annoyed, very quickly. Lacey Chabert makes her original Netflix flick debut, and the already viral moment of her throw to Lindsay Lohan/Mean Girls/Christmas movie crossover is just as wonderful as all those TikToks make it seem. She's also joined by comic geniuses like Katy Mixon, Joe Lo Truglio, and Craig Ferguson, to name a few. So not only is the movie super festive, it's also very funny. Much more "com" than "rom," but it still has heartwarming moments. This is a very fun watch, but don't expect this to feel realistic or for the magic "rules" to really make sense. Just lean into the silly and the fun and you'll love it!
HOT FROSTY (2024)
SYNOPSIS: A woman brings a snow sculpture to life with a magical scarf, and faces a real "George of the Jungle" type scenario with the de-frosted loverboy having to acclimate quickly to society. But his ambling antics land him in jail, and their budding romance--and Christmas--could be ruined!
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Wow wow wow: this quaint big city hotel is really raking up the Jingle Jollies! A workaholic leading lady. A PRINCE. A pop star undercover as a regular human! This movie was fantastic in that there were multiple intriguing storylines, and our leading lady wasn't just looking for love for Christmas: she was also looking to level up her business portfolio by acquiring hotel ownership. this is the first time we've seen a Christmas movie where a female excelling at a career is actually celebrated!! Very cute, especially if you're a Christmas in the City person.
HOTEL FOR THE HOLIDAYS (2022)
SYNOPSIS: An entrepreneurial hotel manager secures funding for her own venture by wooing a prince, but her best friend/chef hopes to woo the hotel manager.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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HOUSEWIVES OF THE NORTH POLE, THE (2021)
SYNOPSIS: Two best friends and Christmas Queens end up as massive rivals in the home decorating competition, potentially ruining their friendship, and Christmas, forever.
OUR THOUGHTS: Wow, what a dream for any Real Housewives fans. Kyle Richards is not as bad as we expected, and several other housewives spent hours in acting classes for stiff three-second cameos. So worth it. This movie is easy viewing, with a good amount of Christmas cheer and enough friends-to-enemies tension to keep you tuned in. If you think about the true storyline, that this is just two wealthy, privileged women fighting over girl scouts or something, then you will definitely tune out. So try to keep an open, empty mind when viewing. There's a beautiful scene at the very end that really brings the Christmas magic home!
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This has all the bones of a CLASSIC made-for-TV Christmas romance, except, for some reason, Christmas? Now, it had some holiday cheer, and the final scene was a Christmas Ball--with a Paris theme?--but for the most part this movie focused heavily on ice skating, small town vibes, and hot single Dad glamour shots. Our leading lady, Lori, was the big city journalist writing a story about said hot single Dad. She had a sordid history at the Dad's skating rink, harkening back to a crippling childhood trauma, but that storyline petered out quickly. In its absence, the mystery of the bad guy Chad and his new fancy development took center stage, leading to a big reveal in Act 3 that had very little set up. But hey, it's fine. We love ice skating, and we love hot people, and this movie had both. We just wish Lori had not dressed like she was going to her own coronation for the Christmas Ball. She was uncomfortable overdressed and it made her look STUPID.
ICE PALACE ROMANCE, AN
(2023)
SYNOPSIS: Big city journalist Lori is covering a story about an ice skating rink in small town Green Hill, but it turns out the story goes much deeper than it seems, not just in regard to a greedy developer looking to oust a local small business, but also when it comes to Lori's own tragic past.
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is a great cozy Christmas watch with attractive people and classic hometown ambiance. Our leading lady is not favored by the townsfolk because she has a successful career (WITCH!!! not really, I just imagine that's what the locals think of her) while the hometown boy is favored because he most likely still loves with his parents. The two start a friendly (ish) competition to win over the owners and the townsfolk to earn the deed to the inn, but, as always happens around the holidays, their hearts get involved and things get messy. This is a great cozy Christmas watch with attractive people and classic hometown ambiance and judgment.
INN LOVE BY CHRISTMAS (202O)
SYNOPSIS: The big city girl wants to buy famous hometown inn, but so does the hot hometown boy who never left for the flash of the city. Who will win the town's hearts, and in so doing, the inn?
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: The premise of this movie was lovingly cheesy: two mayors who were childhood friends but now are rivals competing in a fierce Christmas spirit competition to win a major distribution warehouse deal with a local candle company. While this movie wasn't what we'd call a blockbuster, it delivered on the small town holiday cheer and believable conflict. The resolution was a bit anticlimactic, and there was definitely a lull at about the hour mark (pretty typical for Hallmark), but this is a pretty classic made-for-TV Christmas flick to watch if you're wanting Christmas, not art. Should warn, our ingenues are in the upper years of Gen X, so if you're not looking for that, this isn't for you.
IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS (202O)
SYNOPSIS: Rival Mayors of rival towns battle it out in the annual Christmas competition, but can they put their enmity aside to find the true meaning of Christmas--and midlife singledom despair?
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: School teacher Avery is paired with ex hockey star Wes for an Amazing Race-style holiday-themed reality competition, but they must go from enemies to teammates to friends if they want to win, both in love and in the game.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This was a very fun little jaunt into game-ified Christmas movie plots (think THE SANTA SUMMIT), but unlike this year's TRIVIA AT ST. NICK'S with very low stakes, a huge cash prize and the contestants' genuine self transformations gave this movie a lot of heft. There was a record-scratch moment when one principal character dropped a heavy bomb, but the story point was handled well at the end. Speaking of the supporting cast, big snaps for them! The sweet chefs falling in love and the mother-daughter bonding between unrelated strangers warmed our hearts. The movie moved along at a nice quip, thakns to the riddles driving us from one location to the next. The enemies to lovers to enemies arc had a really natural unfolding to it until, of course, the climax of conflict when they super hated each other then really loved each other again all of a sudden. Even though the kiss at the end is super weird, we felt the chemistry between our two leads throughout the film.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
JINGLE BELL RUN (2024)
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OUR THOUGHTS: INSTANT CHRISTMAS CLASSIC!! MUST-WATCH!! A magical, musical, whimsical world where magic is code for engineering, and a brilliant young girl is our hero. The costumes, the music, the choreography, the set design, the storyline all form a cohesive and believable realm that will whisk you away to a world of holiday magic. We love that our driving storyline here is one of a family reuniting, while the only romantic storyline is a second, or even third, thought. There is a bit of annoyance at the level of removal from the initial opening scene: like a woman is reading a story to her grandkids, but I don't feel like you even need it. Like just dive into the world, you know? Other than that, absolutely fantastic!
JINGLE JANGLE (202O)
SYNOPSIS: A washed-up toy inventor is being forced to foreclose on his store, which is life's work, when an unexpected Christmas visit from his long-lost granddaughter unearths an old sabotage scheme and the inventor's best toy yet!
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS, TOP OF THE TREE
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OUR THOUGHTS: Jolly good, indeed! This may not be "jolly fantastic," but this movie is a lovely trip to London for the holiday, and has all the British Christmas vibes you're looking for. Neither of our romantic leads had much conflict of their own, and it wasn't until the very end that we were introduced to any real stakes, which, at that point of resolution, didn't quite matter anyway. The only provider of any real tension, our love triangle (gasp!) was also put to bed without much fanfare, leaving the whole thing feeling a bit deflated. Things that really made us light up included the picturesque exteriors of London, the unique angle of the personal Christmas shopper, and our female lead's entrepreneurial drive. For an easygoing and sweet tale of a budding romance, one with English accents galore, this is the perfect Christmas film.
JOLLY GOOD CHRISTMAS (2022)
SYNOPSIS: After an unpleasant shopping bag switcheroo, a businessman and a personal shopper team up to find the businessman's girlfriend the perfect Christmas present.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A widowed nurse in WWII is transported to the year 2016 thanks to a magical Christmas comet.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This time travel movie goes back in time to when Candace Cameron Bure wasn't an intolerant hemorrhoid. It also takes us back to 2016, when Bure's character, Hannah the WWII nurse, is learning to adapt to her life post-time travel. To be fair, this is probably the most realistic time travel movie in terms of how everyone reacts to the siuation, including Hannah. We loved that our time traveler, Hannah, did not fall in love with someone outside of her time, which is usually the case and winds up with one of our ingenues having to adapt to a whole new life in order to be with their sweetheart. We also loved the balance of Christmas, time travel drama, and small town vibes in this one, qualifying it as one of the most "made-for-TV" made-for-TV Christmas movies we've seen. Not bad!
JOURNEY BACK TO CHRISTMAS (2016)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: There are several things to love in this movie. First, our leading lady is NOT a size 6 or below--she's a normal looking woman! And the hot guy catches feelings for her (although there is a serious lack of chemistry between our romantic leads, yikes!)! Second, we've got the gorgeous backdrop of France during Christmas, specifically the outdoor Christmas markets lining the town's streets. Finally, a search for clues, that leads to more clues, helps the film move at a National Treasure-esque clip, keeping you interested and not spacing out at the top of Act 3, like we usually do. Oh and her Dad is DEAD. Despite a lackluster climax for our conflicted couple, we still like this one enough to give it three whole Christmas Stars!
JOYEUX NOEL (2023)
SYNOPSIS: An idealistic copywriter discovers a love story mystery in a French painting, sending her and her coworker on a scavenger hunt in France to track down what happened to two lovers long ago.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A medieval knight travels to modern day and is taken inn by a kind small town woman who feels bad for the wayward traveler/mental health case--all great love stories start by showing kindness to someone having a mental break, right?
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OUR THOUGHTS: Time travel AND Christmas?!?! SIGN ME UP!! This holiday reversal of A Kid In King Arthur's Court is a great treat. There is literally a character called "Old Crone," which gives a lot of important representation for all of us Swamp Hags. Vanessa Hudgens stars a small-town singleton who gets a real life Knight in Shining Armor thanks to a glitch in the space-time continuum. You want to cheer for the couple, but you have to wonder: what happens when he has to go BACK to medieval times? Will her survive the Bubonic Plague now that he knows about Tiktok?
KNIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, THE (2019)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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SYNOPSIS: Aubrey, an assistant to a famous comedienne, is putting together a big holiday comedy show while also trying to launch her own comedy career and capture the heart of a local successful comic.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie gives us definite Hacks vibes, and we're not mad about it. One of our personal biggest fears is bombing in a stand-up comedy set, and that happens in this movie, so it was like...triggering. And then she gets rescued from her bombing by a man. So that was annoying. Luckily, it goes uphill from there, and ends up being an enjoyable modern Christmas flick. We love the small city Christmas scenes, and the two leads have real chemistry--even though the male actor has been in other movies and we HATED him. In this one he is charming, funny, and likable! Although he isn't nearly hot enough for our main lady. It's fine though--hot women dating not-hot men is a very realistic storyline. Now, don't get your hopes up for our leading lady's final comedy performance, it is not funny. BUT don't let that ruin this movie for you, it's actually very sweet.
LAUGHING ALL THE WAY (2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A mega popstar gets stranded in a small town during a snowstorm, and falls for a local girl--and that's just ONE love story we're following in this small town's teen population.
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OUR THOUGHTS: AKA "Le Tits Now," this movie is a modern gen Z take on the Love Actually multi-storyline holiday flick, and it isn't terrible! There's a lesbian cheerleader, Sabrina the teenage Witch, best friend crushes, and a super cute Americana diner. Because there's, like, 40 things happening in this movie, I don't remember all of them. But Liv Hewson is one of my favorite actors and she is in it, so, I recommend!
LET IT SNOW (2019)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Two kids write letters to Santa with a "magic" pen to try and help their separated parents fall back in love.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Hallmark is really embracing non-traditional families this year in their movies, and we ARE HERE FOR IT. The two parents, Rebecca and Enrique, have serious chemistry and within the first ten minutes, we were ROOTING for them to get back together and save their marriage. But very believable marital problems opened up the story and gave it real stakes. The original idea of a "magical pen" from Santa that allows him to delivery presents overnight was also a new premise, and was a great crossover to keep the Mom's career storyline moving along. While it did lack small town cheer and Christmas vibes, all in all, this was way better than we expected, and even the usually cringey acoustic serenade at the end almost had us in tears.
LETTERS TO SANTA (2023)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: I put off watching this one because I did not buy Jimmy O. Yang as a romantic lead, and boy was I wrong!! This quickly became a favorite for me for a few reasons: it's genuine and very believable. Like, I would believe this story could actually happen. The characters in this movie are so familiar and likable, and you find yourself rooting for all of them. Christmas, family, quirk, and love are strong themes throughout, and you get just the right amount of cringe/have to look away from the TV but also can't look away! Make this one a Christmas regular!
LOVE HARD (2021)
SYNOPSIS: A big city writer flies across the country to surprise her new online boyfriend for Christmas--only to discover she is being majorly catfished.
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: We try to be understanding when it comes to older flicks, that sometimes they're gonna be contrived and out of touch, but this was rough. One of our biggest pet peeves was that the leading lady was clearly a dime, and the leading man looked like if Joel McHale and a porpoise had a child and that child got hit in the face with a 2x4. Also, the kid of said hot mom, was like waaaayyyy too old to be bringing superhero action figure dolls to restaurants with him. No wonder he gets picked on--I would pick on him, too. Beyond those annoying distractions, the music and scenery were very small-town Christmas, and we even had some hockey thrown in for good measure. The stolen lottery ticket storyline was a bit hard to buy into, but it was definitely original as far as Christmas movies go. I'm gonna say A for effort.
LUCKY CHRISTMAS (2011)
SYNOPSIS: A single Mom's car and winning lottery ticket are stolen, and she'll lose her winnings if she doesn't cash in ticket by Christmas Eve! Meanwhile, the guy with her stolen ticket creepily starts hanging out with her son, and romance ensues...whether it's between the thief and the Mom, or the thief and the son is kind of unclear.
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
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OUR THOUGHTS: While we hate the cliche white male successful author, we really enjoyed this movie! Harrington, our ken doll author who all of a sudden hates christmas after building a multibook franchise basedon on his hometown of Mistletoe, the ultimate Christmas village, meets his match in zealous publicist April. An easily believable premise sees April forcing Harrington into some classic small town Christmas events, keeping the holiday cheer vibrant throughout the flick. We really do recommend this one if you're looking for constant small town Christmas, because it is STRONG--we were a little thrown when April showed up to a costume ball in the dress from Ever After, but hey, it's Christmas so....whatever. Storywise, things got really weird when we were faced with Harrington having to face his own past and reconcile his inner scrooge. All of a sudden he hated trees, and there was some very vague and unsatisfying resolution written in as him having to stop running away from his past because of his dead parents or something....? It all felt very disjointed and kind of slapped together because giving Harrington any REAL conflict would have made him too unlikable as our hero. Honestly, pretty on-brand for Hallmark. You quickly forget about the confusing storyline by another huge splash of magic in the final big Christmas scene, which is straight out of Tangled...and we were not mad about it.
MAGIC IN MISTLETOE (2021)
SYNOPSIS: A writer's scroogey tweet lands him in hot water, and his PR agent blackmails him into participating in his hometown's myriad Christmas events to try and repair his public image.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is a classic low-budget Christmas movie, but I loved it! The Christmas-centric bakery setting is Jingle Jolly central, with plenty of happy holiday cheer like Christmas Karaoke. For once, our attractive romantic leads, Emma and Dave, were NOT good at the karaoke, and they didn't sing "Oh, Holy night!" There were some very weird moments, like the royal icing coming out of the piping bag already split (which is when the fat, or butter, separates from the liquid/sugar), or when creepy real estate investor Adam tried to ask out Sally and said, "I usually don't have to beg," followed up by, "what is the worst that can happen?" Oh gee, I don't know, Adam...YOU COULD BE A MURDERER. Creepy old men aside, Emma's change of heart is just the right amount of "good for her!" and "IN THIS ECONOMY???," and we love Denise's little surprise for Emma when she comes to apologize. Emma making the whole company Christmas party all about herself was classic made-for-TV Christmas, so we applaud that. Remember, this one looks and feels cheap, but it has a good story and a decent cast. Worth a watch, especially if you love baking! Please pay extra attention to the final karaoke scene — the character all forgot existed puts on a real SHOW for ya.
MAKE OR BAKE CHRISTMAS
(2024)
SYNOPSIS: Emma is sent by her corporate boss to infiltrate a small town bakery so said boss can acquire its secret family recipes, but Emma gets a bit distracted by the bakery owner's handsome son/operations manager.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: We really felt the small town Christmas vibes in this one, despite the town looking a lot like Castle Rock, the death capital of Stephen King's universe. We really loved all the small town characters, and that our leading lady is a cartographer, the first we've seen of that! There is nothing else particularly remarkable about this film, nothing that really stands out, but it's cute enough and good for a cozy viewing.
MAPS & MISTLETOE (2021)
SYNOPSIS: A cartographer is looped into designing a mythical treasure map of the North Pole, and she recruits an arrogant, world-famous adventurer to help her get it done by Christmas.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This was....tough. It centers around an antiquated by-law in the family company's charter stating that whoever marries first of the children gets the family's grocery company. Which is like...what? That's so dumb. And then it's like, just rewrite the bylaws because it is no longer 1896. Our main chick is this very capable, very smart business woman who can't get the company she deserves (and basically already runs!) because she isn't married??? Truly hated this. There is an enemy/lover situation and a race between the two sisters to get the company, because one sister is already in a relationship and her boo is happy to take over the company. Typical man, just getting companies handed to you. Anyway, hated this, but still giving it half a star for effort?
MARRIED BY CHRISTMAS (2016)
SYNOPSIS: A hard-working woman who has dedicated her life to taking over her family's grocery may lose the family business if she doesn't get married by Christmas. I know, it makes no sense.
RATING: HALF A CHRISTMAS STAR
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MERRY CHRISTMAS WISH, A (2022)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Big city executive Janie inherits her weird uncle's farm and is peer-pressured to put on the small town's annual Winter Wonderland festival before she sells the farm to an evil developer.
OUR THOUGHTS: Haven't even started the film, already pissed at how freaking old our leading man looks when compared to our leading lady. As the movie went on, I realized our leading lady was meant to be 29, which, ok...at any rate, this movie was kind of a snore. A nice lady inherits a farm from a rando uncle and then puts on a big winter festival something or other for this small town. I was very disappointed in how mid the leading man was: just some guy with no property of his own, running a dead man's farm where he also happens to live, and the crow's lines of a man who has spent a couple terms in the municipal jail. I wouldn't say this is a must-see, but it isn't a zero--it has all the jingle jollies of a standard made-for-TV Christmas movie, including a tight, red turtleneck on a man with no business wearing such a top. I guess...watch if you want?
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MERRY GENTLEMEN, THE (2024)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS. SEND BACK TO
SANTA.
SYNOPSIS: After getting fired from her pro dancing gig because she is an old crone, Ashley heads home for the holidays to discover her family's business, The Rhythm Room, is on the verge of being pushed out for a trendy juice bar. She comes up with a holiday version of MAGIC MIKE to keep the business alive.
OUR THOUGHTS: I was so ready to love this movie. There's so much TO love: the premise of this movie is predictable but fun, the small town vibes, the community banding together to save a local business from the big bad chain juice bar. But there were some really bad choices that made this movie nose dive for me. And no, I don't mean Ashley's distracting wig, or that Chad Michael Murray's torso is giving more "emaciation" than "titillation." I mean the fact that Ashley puts her own father in her male stripper dance revue, and then cheers him on as he puts his zaddy six pack on full display.
But the real nail in the Christmas stripper coffin for me was when Luke (Chad Michael Murray's character) gets all butt hurt because Ashley gets her old job back, and he is pissed she chooses to return to her old job, with a paycheck, so she doesn't have to retire from a career she has been building for over a decade. Then he hits us with "all city girls are the same." Yeah, bitch, we are all the same: we make our money, so we can pay our own bills, and we need men who don't make us feel bad for BIG WINS like a three year job contract with a 25% raise! I was ready to give this minimum three stars, but this is a hard pass. Zero Christmas Stars. Send back to Santa. Netflix, think of a better arc than shitting on a woman who finds career success.
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MEET ME NEXT
CHRISTMAS (2024)
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Christina Milian stars in this wild Christmas scavenger hunt that is really just one long advertisement for Pentatonix.
OUR THOUGHTS: Setting aside that this whole movie is a commerical for Pentatonix (no one's mad--"Becca, I'm a pop star"), we come in hot with a fateful meet-cute at the airport of Layla and James, then cut straight to a rough break up of Layla's long-term relationship with a guy named "Tanner." This movie has a lot of hot men in it, and once Tanner is out, we formally meet Teddy. I'm loving the carousel of hot men, but it is a lot to keep track of. BUT once Teddy and Layla link up, it sends them on a hilarious and holly scavenger hunt throughout the city. Despite our cold and dead hearts, this Christmas romance really got us feeling the warm and fuzzies! But, of course, the highlight of this Pentatonix ad is none other than Pentatonix themselves, also shout out Alinea and Kalen Allen!
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MERRY KISSMAS (2015)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
SYNOPSIS: Two strangers share a non-consenting kiss in an elevator only to realize HE is the caterer for HER engagement party and her fiancé's big Nutcracker show, creating a rocky love triangle at the holidays.
OUR THOUGHTS: We have a lot of strange kisses happening in a claustrophobic elevator that seems to encourage assault? The lovely Debbie Reynolds even makes an appearance as a sexual predator, so that's fun. All that aside, this is a pretty straightforward love triangle story: jerk fiancé who is secretly involved with another woman, the innocent leading lady who doesn't want to give up on her fiancé but is so clearly falling for the handsome new guy who came out of nowhere, the new guy who came out of nowhere who is perfect in every way and so much better than the fiancé. So zero points for originality. The Christmas cheer is seriously lacking throughout the movie, until out of nowhere there's a jarring montage with nothing BUT Christmas. What I will say is the kisses between the leads are steamy and there's genuine chemistry, but this one's not a go-to for Christmas....or romance....or Christmas romance.
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MERRY LIDDLE CHRISTMAS (2019)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Jackie Liddle (Queen Kelly Rowland) tries to secure a major business brand deal by hosting her entire family for Christmas, but everything that can go wrong, does, and Jackie must re-evaluate what's really important.
OUR THOUGHTS: This is the quintessential adult children family Christmas movie! The Liddle family all gather at daughter Jackie's house to try and win her a big account at work, and as a family of four daughters, we really connected with the Liddles, who have three daughters that could not be more different. This movie loses a little bit of steam at the top of Act 2, but hold onto your hats because we've got a fried turkey explosion and a "smart house" turned dumb coming your way. The movie really pulls together by Act 3 to deliver believable conflict and family resolution. It's lite on romance, but there is some eye candy in Jackie's neighbor, Tyler, who could trim my hedges any day. We are glad to say this is just the intro to our new favorite Christmas fam, because the Liddles have two other Christmas movies that follow this one: Merry Liddle Christmas Wedding and Merry Liddle Christmas Baby.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Gretchen Weiners is back for another destination holiday film and this time she is headed to the Highlands. Gretchen's character, Lindsay, and her brother, Brad (played by her Party of Five on-screen brother Scott Wolf), have enough of life's issues to deal with, namely that they actually hate each other now despite being friends as kids. Brad and his wife are also struggling with fertility, creating more rifts to be resolved. The conflict development in this story was natural and believable, and we were really rooting for Brad and Lindsay, which felt more important than Lindsay's brewing romance with a Scottish local (who I'm pretty sure is attracted to Shetland ponies). Unlike other destination movies we've seen in Scotland, this one did a really good job of interweaving Scottish traditions without it feeling like we were watching a tourism video.
MERRY SCOTTISH CHRISTMAS, A (2023)
SYNOPSIS: In this rendition of A GENERATIONAL WEALTH CHRISTMAS...An estranged brother and sister discover they are the heirs apparent to a massive Scottish estate, thanks to their Mom's secret birthright as a duchess, and must figure out what to do with the unexpected inheritance during a Christmas trip.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This one was all over the place--that place specifically being Switzerland. The beautiful Swiss alps and Tom Rozon (Mutt from Schitt's Creek) were really this film's only redeeming factors. There's a lot of confusion as to why this woman's Mom has a chalet in Switzerland, firstly, and then why is there a hotelier in Switzerland, a hot single dad, who has no accent whatsoever? But the real head-scratcher is WHY did the Mom invite daughter's ex-best friend, who is now dating (or married to?!?) that daughter's ex, to the chalet for Christmas as well as her own daughter? So we've got this weird Mom, the daughter (Jodie Sweetin), the daughter's ex-best friend who the daughter hates but the Mom still loves apparently...? Like I just didn't....it was a lot. And it was not good.
MERRY SWISSMAS (2022)
SYNOPSIS: Woman spends christmas at her mom's swiss chateau with her EX best friend (who is with the main woman's ex-love) and falls for a hotelier who is Swiss but has an American accent so who really knows...
RATING: ONE CHRISTMAS STAR
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
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OUR THOUGHTS: I legitimately do not know if this movie is racist or not. But it's...you know, it's there? I don't know what to say. It was a good stab at celebrating both Hanukkah and Christmas, I guess? I don't know. The strongest part of the film: They really leaned hard into blue-for-Hanukkah, red-and-green-for-Christmas in the wardrobe choices. The weakest part of the film: The latkes looked like croquettes more than the beloved potato pancake.
MISTLETOE & MENORAHS (2019)
SYNOPSIS: Christmas Enthusiast Christie and Hanukkah Hotshot Jonathan must teach each other everything about their own respective winter holidays: Christie must impress a Jewish executive and Jonathan needs to wow the new Christian in-laws.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Olivia, our undercover reporter, and Thomas, a single dad teacher, a both unhappy about being sent to Mistletoe Match, and we love the playful enemies-to-lovers back and forth they have. The friendship that blossoms between our leads is organic and lovable, and really has you rooting for Olivia and Thomas as they begin to play matchmakers for those around them--completely oblivious that they themselves are each other's perfect matches! This film does a great job on the romance, and an even better job on the Christmas vibes. BUT, we do not like how this movie relies on a very tired and untrue trope about journalists to create conflict between our two leads (namely that journalists regularly lie to sources), making us believe Olivia and Matt may not end up together. Shocker...they do.
MISTLETOE MATCH (2023)
SYNOPSIS: An Investigative Journalist is assigned to uncover how the successful Mistletoe Match singles event has a 90% success rate of finding singles true love.
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OUR THOUGHTS: The whole Lawrence family gets in on the action in this Christmas flick, bringing their classic brand of 90's and 2000's cheese with them. Which isn't a bad thing! The premise of this movie is actually kind of cute, but there isn't much at stake other than which bro she is gonna bang--and let's be real, the one in the flannel who knows how to cut down a tree will win EVERY time. It gets a little too cringey, hence only getting 2 Christmas Stars, but for any child who grew up with a Tiger Beat poster of the Lawrence Brothers should probably put this on their list.
MISTLETOE MIX-UP (2022)
SYNOPSIS: A woman mistakes two brothers and dates them both then has to choose which one is her holiday heart throb.
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This movie kicks off with a dead mom backstory and a montage, and it doesn't stop the holiday magic from there. I actually downloaded this soundtrack on iTunes because it has that many bops! There's a Scrooge boss who moonlights as an allegedly straight man who loves karaoke, matching pink velour jumpsuits, and plenty of puns (Mistle-Tones and Snow-Bells, hello?!?!?!). This is classic made-for-TV Christmas filmmaking at its finest. We highly recommend this one: tune in for the face-off between 1990's TV icons Tori Spelling and Tia Mowry, and stay for the duet rendition of Winter Wonderland. Fa la la la!
MISTLE-TONES, THE (2012)
SYNOPSIS: An elite local a capella group (of grown-ass women) deny one local woman a chance to join, so she forms her own group to rival them in a HUGE competition on Christmas Eve.
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Um, Christmas, murder, AND baking? Yes, please!!! One of Hallmark's best leading ladies, baker/detective Hannah Swinson is back at it, this time during the holiday season! This was a really fun ride, though there were a lot of middle-aged blue-eyed blonde women to keep track of, and all the men were crew cut brunettes with very angular jawlines...But other than this small town's homogeneity, this movie did an awesome job of balancing MURDER with CHRISTMAS with home town vibes. There was a timid love triangle, but no real action or decision made in the romance department, leaving us feeling a bit put out. If you can get on board for a corny murder mystery with a jingle bell-themed score, you're in for a treat with this one!
MURDER, SHE BAKED: A PLUM PUDDING MYSTERY (2015)
SYNOPSIS: A murder at the Christmas tree lot turns a town upside down right before Christmas, as the local baker Hannah Swinson races to uncover whodunnit--because she is a baker so naturally, she solves murders. There is also plum pudding.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: We are HERE for films with individuals who are visually-impaired, but we do wish it wasn't the entire movie. We get it, though: the public should learn more about guide dogs and living with visual impairments, so we really applaud Hallmark for that, even if this movie isn't necessarily the greatest Christmas flick of all time. But we still have some great elements: We have a douchey boyfriend who is literally named CHAD, a dead Mom, a random best friend whose poorly-written dialogue drives the story forward pretty blatantly, and genuine chemistry between the leads (their big kiss is actually really sweet!) BUT Max the dog is by far the best part. In fact, we feel like Santa should rethink the reindeer thing and have a team of Golden Retrievers, or rescue pit bulls!
MY CHRISTMAS GUIDE (2023)
SYNOPSIS: A visually-impaired professor/single dad ("hot" is a stretch) gets a guide dog, Max, who is the star of this movie and basically Christmas Air Bud.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
MY CHRISTMAS FIANCÉ (2022)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Does not feel remotely like a Christmas movie. The Americanized envisioning of what Florence is like is nice in a Disney World way, and then Denise Richards is randomly in it? Some Jingle Jollies that we LOVE to see in any made-for-TV Christmas Movie: Rich parents who don't like poor girl, a jealous ex wanting to win back the main guy's heart, a family legacy the main character is trying to preserve but in their own way, and, perhaps the best one in here, two people who aren't in love pretending to be in love and, in so doing, fall in love for reel. Pro Tip: Will make you want to eat pastries, have donuts and/or croissants ready when viewing.
SYNOPSIS: An American chef poses as her head chef's fiancé for some reason while their kitchen works to earn a fancy award.
MY CHRISTMAS INN (2018)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Tia Mowry leads this unoriginal yet super charming oops-I-now-own-an-Inn Christmas flick as Jen Taylor. Even better is that Tia's parents in the film are played by the ACTUAL ACTORS that were the Mom and Dad (Lisa and Raymond) on "Sister Sister." The small town cheer is electric in this one, and Jen immediately gets sucked into the madness that is Christmas in Chestnut Hill. This is one of those movies that you could miss a good hour in the middle and not really miss anything at all, so it isn't exactly spellbinding...but it's very Christmas-y, and there is an absurd amount of flannel shirts if that's what you're into.
Fun Made-For-TV Christmas Fact: The house exterior of Jen's new inn is the same exterior used as a historic inn in "Flipping for Christmas," so if you want more of this neoclassical bridgeport brick beauty, you know what to watch next.
SYNOPSIS: Jen inherits an obscure Alaskan inn from her eccentric (dead) aunt, but the last minute excursion could cost her a major Christmas-time promotion at her very important advertising job.
MY NORWEGIAN HOLIDAY (2023)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: I have been waiting my entire life for a Norwegian movie not about vikings, so to receive a CHRISTMAS movie in Norway!?!? WHAT A DREAM. Right off the bat we've got a St. Lucia show, really getting the Scandinavian Christmas cheer going early. While the holiday vibes are not as strong throughout, there is definitely a magic feel about Norway, keeping this movie full of enchantment. We have a few different mysterious sub-storylines to keep us watching and intrigued, and one of them gets a very dramatic and unexpectedly deep reveal--it almost feels like a Lifetime movie, not Hallmark! Sassy Grandma Astrid (Sasstrid???) is our favorite character, followed shortly by Henrich's disappearing limp--it comes and goes at it pleases, like a Christmas poltergeist. We really loved this movie--may be our FAVORITE Hallmark destination Christmas movie to date, but that could be just because we love Norway. So a defiinite yes for Norway fans (or fans of pale blonde people), but not the most Christmas-y or romantic of Christmas romance movies....
SYNOPSIS: Teacher Jessica Johnson lucks out by getting a free Norway Christmas trip when a Norse stud muffin gets dumped by his girlfriend, also named Jessica Johnson, just days before his sister's holiday wedding.
MY SANTA (2013)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: A single Mom falls for a mall Santa with a big secret: He is actually Santa's son, and if he doesn't fall in love with his soulmate by Christmas, he won't get his Santa powers and become the man in the suit.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This definiteliy has the cheese of an older Christmas film, but it is overflowing with Christmas magic. We have a hot Santa in Chris, played by Matthew Lawrence (the hot Lawrence brother), who is Santa's son and heir apparent. We love a Hot Santa, almost as much as a Santa Zaddy. Anyway, the hot single Mom is a bit damsel-in-distress, and the fact that she is a non-believer or a Scrooge doesn't really become clear until a scene waaaaay too late in the movie, with some of the most intense re-creation acting we've seen to date. The only thing that makes the Mom believe Chris is Santa and the love of her life is when her kid, who is really too old for Santa anyway, magically gets the toy he wants under the tree. Oh, and did we mention all the Jingle Jollies? An ice skating date, a career as a Journalist, a love triangle, and then GARY from Parks and Rec is what we can only assume is some kind of elf slave.
MYSTERY ON MISTLETOE LANE (2023)
RATING: HALF A CHRISTMAS STAR
OUR THOUGHTS: While we were really into the set-up at the beginning of Act 1, the action remains pretty static throughout this film. True stakes, that our historian Mom with a lot of blazers may lose her job, doesn't really get introduced until after we already lost interest. If our male lead had looked more Idris Elba and less Aldi Mark Cuban, we may have given this movie a second chance, but...meh. While we had high hopes, this flick just did not deliver for us.
SYNOPSIS: A recently divorced Mom snags the job of town Historian, when she is not from this town nor is she a historian. She and her family go on a scavenger hunt through their new home, which has a mysterious past filled with Christmas cheer and family secrets.
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MYSTIC CHRISTMAS (2023)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: Another film in the vein of "TOWN NAME CHRISTMAS," this one charmed me to the core with its maritime village and rescue seal--aptly named Peppermint. Juniper and Sawyer's awkwardness was extremely overplayed at the top of the movie, but they ultimately overcame it to deliver some cute moments. The kid in me who yearned to be a Marine Biologist in South Carolina was delighted with Juniper's marine knowledge, and the wanderlusting adult in me was enamored with Junipers "every Christmas, a different country" mentality. This film didn't, as a whole, feel super super Christmas-y, and there was no real climax for the conflict, all very one note. BUT huge props are given to the fact that our leading man and lady ended up in a reasonable, loving relationship with strong boundaries, and weren't forced into a Christmas engagement before they were ready.
SYNOPSIS: Marine Biologist/Seal Expert Juniper is called to quaint seaside village Mystic to help rescue seal Peppermint, and ends up rekindling a doomed romance with her best friend's brother. Juniper's best friend's brother, not Peppermint's best friend's brother...this isn't about a human-seal romance at Christmas, though that would be a good pitch.
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NANTUCKET NOEL (2021)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
OUR THOUGHTS: The single hot dad's daughter is named...Wink? Like on purpose, that's her name? AND THEN THIS WINK BITCH TRIES TO SHOPLIFT? EVEN THOUGH HER DAD IS A MILLIONAIRE? Turns out "Wink" is short for Winifred, which is somehow worse. Anyway...so a rich property developer wants to buy the vintage wharf in seaside Nantucket and develop it...story as old as time, but this one has more disappointing children in it--and I'm not just talking about Wink. Her Dad is a nepo baby in a polo. I keep waiting for something to love in this movie...Anyway, I can't even remember if I finished this movie or not? And I don't really want to revisit, so...gonna call it a 0 star, SEND BACK TO SANTA!
SYNOPSIS: During the Seaside Noel celebrations, Christin learns of a developer who is planning to tear down the wharf that is home to her toy store. Tensions rise as she falls for the developer’s son, Andy.
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NAUGHTY NINE, THE (2023)
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS, TOP OF THE TREE
OUR THOUGHTS: We recognize this may not quality as a "made-for-TV" movie, but it IS "direct-to-consumer" and it is SOOOOOO good! We highly recommend watching this EVERY YEAR. We've got a very magical North Pole world where Ozempic Santa reigns. This is the perfect mix of ACTION movie, cute and relatable KIDS (who I usually hate, by the way), heartwarming messaging without feeling suffocating, and soooo much Christmas cheer! This is an ideal holiday movie when you want to feel the magic of the holiday, and the spirit of the season--although we are very concerned about Bruno. TOP OF THE TREE!!!!
SYNOPSIS: This Ocean's 11 of children's Christmas sees nine naughty kids reclaim their gifts from the North Pole after being stiffed by Santa.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Hilarie Burton once again proves herself a Christmas Queen in this clever little film with a healthy dash of Christmas magic. We love her having to work with a mall Santa, and getting Santa's big list of Naughty and Nice is unique, though not entirely original. Hilarie's character has a solid arc herself of going from naughty-ish to nice, and the bad guys are the corporate fat-hats, which we always love any anti-capitalist Christmas movie, even though Christmas is about the most capitalist thing to exist.
NAUGHTY OR NICE (2014)
SYNOPSIS: Cranky business woman gets let go on wrong terms, becomes a mall Christmas elf, accidentally gets Santa's naughty and nice list that allows her to see all of peoples naughty actions, including the real reason she got fired.
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: Hallmark is delivering yet another fisherman's village Christmas movie this year (the other being Christmas Island), but this one wins the prize for us. We really applaud Hallmark's venturing into the "Single Mom" storyline, and keeping it authentic to what those struggles might be like if your kid is an asshole teenager. The seaside village of Saint Nicholas is super quaint and definitely festive, so while it isn't Vermont, it has plenty of the small town holiday vibes we love to see--and the lighthouses is definitely a unique setting. On top of that, we have a believable arc for our Mother-Son bonding, and one of our favorite Hallmark Holiday kinds, Stephen Huszar as our male lead. Unfortunately the big climactic moment was not as disastrous as we needed it to be. BUT, it was the WOMAN who saved the day and the man from the big bad city slicker rich investor, which was pretty dope.
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NAVIGATING CHRISTMAS (2023)
SYNOPSIS: A hot single Mom tries to win the love of her spoiled teenage child by booking a last-minute Christmas holiday at a lighthouse--because teenagers LOVE lighthouses.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: We love a good codependent relationship, and lucky for us this movie's toxic bond comes in the form of friends, not lovers. BUT the friendship was adorkable, relatable, and genuine. We found ourselves genuinely rooting for our two female leads through all the ups and downs of every teenage rom-com ever made. Yes, it was all a bit high school, and nothing about the storyline was original, but it still made us feel bubbly and warm like the holidays should. Plus, one of them is Jewish, so we got Hanukkah AND Christmas! MAZEL!
NEVER BEEN CHRIS'D (2023)
SYNOPSIS: Two best friends go home for the holidays, and face obstacles like a shared crush, a BFF break-up, and a couple of crazy-ass Moms.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This was one of the more unique time travel/Christmas past stories we've seen, as our leading lady Angie wasn't just visiting or viewing the past but actually changing it. She rode a very Polar Express-esque train conducted by Christopher Lloyd, making us feel much more comfortable with the time travel of it all because, hello, he's an expert. This movie has a great balance of Christmas, small town holiday, and romance, offering a love triangle that doesn't quite deliver the conflict we'd like since we know who she is gonna choose from page 1. BUT, we enjoyed the ride as Angie desperately tried to figure out WHY she had been transported back in time to THIS Christmas. Definitely better than we expected!
NEXT STOP CHRISTMAS (2021)
SYNOPSIS: Workaholic doctor Angie is sent to Christmas Past to try and correct something, but she doesn't know what, and can't return to the present until she rights the wrongs of her past!
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This movie was definitely not originally intended to be a holiday movie, and feels a bit "square pegged" into the round hole of Christmas time. BUT it does star a real-life married couple so the romantic leads' chemistry is legit, and it has maybe the most heartbreakingly realistic love triangle ending I've seen in one of these Christmas flicks--the odd man out isn't a bad guy, or deserving of any way to be dumped at the alter. I would say "spoiler alert" but come on, it's a Christmas rom com! The production quality of this one is a bit more premium than some of its rom-comrades, and there's a huge amount of holiday cheer, even with the clear Chicago July sun making an apearance in every exterior shot.
NO SLEEP 'TIL CHRISTMAS (2018)
SYNOPSIS: Two complete opposites, who are also insomniacs, form a strange business deal during the holidays when the discover they can only sleep when together.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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SYNOPSIS: When a successful writer's Mother passes away, he returns home to sort through belongings. Once there, he meets a young woman whose mother used to be the author's nanny, and they embark on a journey to find her.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie was way amped up, and ended up being kind of a dud. The cast is definitely hot, and there's a love triangle as the leading lady has two love interests to choose from. Ending was very disappointing, and didn't have enough holly jolly Christmas vibes for me. Not quite a "send back to Santa," but also not a must-watch.
NOEL DIARY, THE (2022)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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NORTHPOLE (2014)
SYNOPSIS: An elf stalks a friendless boy who is obsessed with Christmas, kidnaps him, and brings him to her hometown of Northpole to help her avert a massive Christmas crisis.
OUR THOUGHTS: This tops the "magical worlds" Christmas movies for us--it is very creative, whimsical, and downright adorable. We love this take on Santa's hometown, and the premise of the Northern Lights dying out was well-developed enough to be totally believable. We were 100% sucked in and onboard for this adventure. Unfortunately, most of the movie was not spent in this magical Northpole, and instead in an ordinary town with a crotchety mayor and a poor girl named Penny who couldn't afford ice skates. Kelly Kapowski is a journalist who goes on a convoluted investigation about a tree lighting, and it does get a bit confusing, but there is enough cheer and magic here to make this well worth the watch.
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is a bit of a twist of the "Christmas Prince" Jingle Jolly in that our royal leading man is not a royal at all, just posing as one. But the reason for him lying about being the Count of nordic Sarhogen (a very Nordic fake town) is confusing and flimsy, making for a lackluster premise. Our journalist leading lady, on the other hand, does not have a lot at stake--sure she doesn't like her job and she may lose her visa, but she is an attractive blonde working and living in Europe as a writer so...cry me a Thames river. This movie shared a lot of the vibe and vista of Hallmark's other movie released this weekend, My Norwegian Holiday, making us feel like we were just watching cut scenes from that movie--with less trolls. Like all royal holiday movies, the leading lady went to a big ball and wore a dress that is actually meant for bridesmaids, so glad we didn't miss out on that one!
NOT SO ROYAL CHRISTMAS, A
(2023)
SYNOPSIS: A journalist tells a baby lie to a fake Count and his royal staff, who are telling a massive lie about the Count not being the real Count, and then everyone is forgiven by Christmas.
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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ONCE UPON A HOLIDAY (2015)
SYNOPSIS: A princess runs away at Christmas to live a few minutes as a normie, and while on the run she experiences Christmas, love, and the joy of thrifted clothes.
OUR THOUGHTS: This one is almost 10 years old, and swaps the age old "Christmas Prince" for a "Christmas Princess," who, like me, is obsessed with model trains. So I really bonded right away with this sad little privileged girl. One thing I love about this vague European country is that they don't have British accents. They also spent about twenty minutes just establishing that this princess doesn't want to be a princess like oooh my gosh, we get it. It's hard to have money. Then when she finally DOES escape, she steals clothes from a Christmas donation box to fit in with the poors. Lolz. Princess Katie pairs up with Jack, played by Hallmark stud Paul Campbell, which we love. The movie is actually pretty sweet, though it didn't take any pains to be original with the whole royal-on-the-run premise. She even had dead parents. We did like the add of the shitty boyfriend reporter, and the magician santa friend. As is customary, Jack through a little hissy fit because somone LIED to him. If you want cheese, camp, corniness, cliche, and CLASSIC Christmas culture, this movie DELIVERS.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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ONCE UPON A MAIN STREET (2022)
SYNOPSIS: Vanessa Lachey SLAYS (sleighs) as an Interior Designer who takes on the town's massive holiday decorating contest.
OUR THOUGHTS: Vanessa Lachey makes some questionable choices in her own reality series, but in this film, she is a very believable and lovable designer/career woman with REAL stakes: she wants her own storefront! And so does her love interest/arch nemesis. While the enemies-to-lovers trope is nothing new, the battling for a business storefront is a fresh take on this age-old storyline.
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: We love a good scavenger hunt, and this Christmas rom-com delivers a National Treasure-style pursuit of an antique Nutcracker. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL: we've got a classic baggage mix-up at the airport, a Girl Dad winning his daughter's love by buying her a sold out doll so that he doesn't have to be present in her life for real, AND a career-oriented Type A Event Planner leading lady! This is a fun, quirky mystery with lots of Christmas cheer. And honestly it was set to be one of my top picks for 2024, but then they had to get weird with a loaded, flirty moment between our leading lady's single Dad and her lover's single Mom...meaning that if the Mom and Dad get together, our two Christmas soulmates in this film will be step-siblings. Maybe I'm reading too deep into this....But also WTF? Overall a very sweet Christmas rom com with enough intrigue to keep you tuned in.
OPERATION NUTCRACKER (2024)
SYNOPSIS: An event planner finds herself in a secret hunt for a lost nutcracker with a major client's son, and if they don't find the missing toy, Christmas (and her career) will be ruined!
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Ok, so LiLo's 2024 Christmas movie is here, and I was sobbing in the first five minutes. Because we've all had that relationship: with the guy who should have been THE guy, but instead he made a choice to just be a guy. But then we get a super fun crash-cut montage of the past ten years, and we remember, briefly, that there was once a time of normality...Netflix also humbly brags, like, multiple times. And it's almost as annoying as the Paul-Tyson shameless 4-hour advertisement for the streamer. Once this movie gets going, it is a fun ride. Kristin Chenoweth, Hail the Queen, is the fabulously deranged Morgan Family Matriarch whose family really gives new meaning to the game of “Secret” Santa. Lindsay Lohan, my Ginger Sister In Christ (not really, I’m an atheist), gets to show off her comedy chops in this flick, something I missed in 2022’s FALLING FOR CHRISTMAS. The church reading is one of the funnier Christmas scenes I’ve watched this year. I loved the slow defrosting between leads Avery (Lohan) and Logan (some guy), as well, and their sweet moment in Lohan’s empty childhood home definitely brought us to tears. I also was brought to tears (and almost peed my pants) when the Christmas party came wildly undone, with one insane revelation after another. I do hope we, as a society, are moving past the point where we mock dementia or use it as a comedy crutch, though. That was the low point for me, in this film. I was surprised at how much time was spent post-Christmas-blow up—usually these movies don’t have so many “resolution” beats. But I appreciated it, and felt it did justice for the characters for whom we were rooting. Wise words for all you strong women planning on watching this movie: That boy you loved like Avery loved Logan is not coming back to you. Do not text him.
OUR LITTLE SECRET (2024)
SYNOPSIS: Childhood sweethearts-turned-bitter-exes Avery and Logan unexpectedly wind up spending Christmas with the same family (Avery is dating the adult son, Logan dating the adult-ish daughter), and must pretend to be strangers lest Avery fall out of favor with her future in-laws.
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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PLANES, TRAINS, AND
CHRISTMAS TREES (2023)
SYNOPSIS: When a big city event planner's planes are grounded and she can't catch a train because of a huge winter storm, a kind stranger takes her in until she can get to the city, and cons her into planning the town's Christmas festival so he doesn't have to pay for labor.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie really packs in a lot of our Jingle Jollies: snowglobe collector, hot single Dad, shitty boyfriend, a big storm stranding all travellers, putting on the town's epic Christmas Festival! There's no lack of Christmas vibes in this one, and the fact that it takes place in our home state of Indiana makes it extra special--because we know that our leading lady is not considered an autonomous human being and doesn't have control over her own body, which is exactly what happened to Mary with Jesus. So that's just as Christmas-y as it gets. While we appreciate the meet-cute of our leading man and lady met after their planes got grounded just days before Christmas, it was a bit murder-y that the man seemed to have an answer for everything: oh, your plane is cancelled? I have a rental car, I can give you a ride. Oh, the roads are blocked? My weird uncle lives down the road, you can come stay with me there. Like, seriously, girl, RUN!
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is probably one of the better Christmas Prince flicks we've seen, with the premise of an FBI operation adding an element of danger and mystery that we all love around the holidays. A bit odd it takes place in Santa Barbara as opposed to some snowy mountainscape vista, which would have really added a dose of Christmas cheer we felt this movie was missing. The brewing romance has natural chemistry, which is always nice, and offset the incredulity of the FBI just casually using a Prince as their informant because they could not locate their actual informant, who is a criminal...Keep your eye out for our leading lady's inconspicuous obsession with cardinals--she literally has an entire cardinal, life-size, plastered onto her work bag. Like she took a live cardinal and just skewered it onto her tote. It's wild. And fashion.
PRINCE AND PAUPER CHRISTMAS, A (2022)
SYNOPSIS: A thief working as an FBI informant is mistaken for his doppelganger, a Prince of fake-Genovia, leading the two to swap places for a Christmas time sting.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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PRINCESS SWITCH, THE (2018)
SYNOPSIS: An American baker switches places with a Duchess in fake-Genovia, and the two go on a wild Christmas-themed Freaky Friday type of run.
OUR THOUGHTS: Don't ask us how a poor American baker can afford to go to the world's premiere baking competition in fake-Genovia, or why it's in fake-Genovia--not because we don't know the answers, but because we do not care. The Princess Switch defies a lot of norms to get us into its world, but once there, we don't want to leave! A bespoke European country, scrumptious Christmas baking, a best friend crush, pretty gowns, horseback riding! This may be our favorite Christmas Prince movie to date, and should be part of your annual Christmas line-up!
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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PRINCESS SWITCH: SWITCHED AGAIN, THE (2020)
SYNOPSIS: Two movies, three Vanessas....
OUR THOUGHTS: Review TBD
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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PRINCESS SWITCH 3: ROMANCING THE STAR, THE (2021)
SYNOPSIS:
OUR THOUGHTS: Review TBD
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Wow wow wow, this Christmas Cadet Kelly is a wild ride. So our fake Genovia in this movie is called Wingravia, and our rebel monarch is the wily Princess Violet. Apparently Violet is supposed to train this Goat Knight (a literal goat who is knighted...) to pick a proper tree, which she didn't do because HELLO, it's a goat? So because Sir Goat picked a shitty Christmas tree, Violet's role as heir to the throne hangs in the balance. To prove she can be Queen, and properly train a goat, she is sent to an American military boot camp. And like all kids sent to miiltary boot camp, we can't help but look at the parents: Queen C#nt over here doesn't make time for her daughter, so no wonder Violet acts out. Like, can we really blame the CHILD? Or the GOAT? Violet and her fellow boot campers roll up and are announced like a reality TV show. Violet quickly pisses off Commanding Officer Ryan by asking about Christmas decorations which is a 100% fair question and Ryan needs to calm down. But seriously I am worried a bit about Violet's literacy, and just Wingravia's education system as a whole. The fraught tension between Commanding Officer Ryan and "Private Princess" the Cadet turns sexual (duh) but we don't get any fun out of it, just a lame kiss at the end. This movie goes hard on Christmas, albeit a guilt trip Christmas filled with community service and military regiment. And I'm not really big into monarchs or military so, like, it's fine....? Would have been more into it if we got more weird royal goats.
PRIVATE PRINCESS CHRISTMAS (2024)
SYNOPSIS: After a royal goat picks a shitty Christmas tree, Princess Violet is sent to an American military boot camp to whip her into "royal" shape. OH and it happens over the holidays because military holiday boot camps are a thing.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Single Mom (and Journalist) Sydney is probably the least original lead character ever....that is other than Cole (real name Colin), her love interest and secret badillionaire funding random acts of Christmas kindness all over Chicago. Hot, single, rich, AND nice? Cole, you rascal you, what are you hiding? Oh, a full on Oedipal Complex and some enmeshment trauma? Cole may only fall for Sydney because she basically is his Mother reincarnate, but amongst that weirdness this movie has a lot of holiday cheer--poinsettias, hot chocolate, fancy (ugly) ornaments, a sled they call a toboggan as if we don't already know they are all Canadian, eh?! This movie is...boring. I was on Tiktok for about 40 minutes of it and didn't miss a single plot point--unlike our alleged "Journalist" leading lady, who totally missed that Cole/Colin is not who he says he is....you can skip this one, really.
RANDOM ACTS OF CHRISTMAS (2019)
SYNOPSIS: Man with baby helicopter gives away free things under the guise of "Secret Santa," hoping his philanthropy will distract from the sexual attraction he has toward his biological mother. Meanwhile, a mid-rate Journalist who can't report real news forces her child to record her ad-hoc broadcasts on an ipad.
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Evie Lane, a semi-spoiled heiress, is challenged by her Mother to perform acts of kindness to the small town locals responsible for Evie's miracle Christmas Eve birth years earlier--and if Evie DOESN'T meet the challenge, she will lose her trust fund.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This flick is technically not a Hallmark special but a Hallmark Mystery movie, meaning it has some heavy moral undertones and a real aspirational arc. It's the sort of movie your Grandma would LOVE. Even with the heavy pandering toward "good for all humankind," this one wasn't too bad! Evie was actually quite likable as far as privileged heiresses go, and lawyer hunk Kyle has just enough gristle to swipe right! The overall stakes of Evie losing her trust fund casts a bit of a shade over the film, because who honestly gives a shit about that? But we really liked the little haven of Brookswood, and the way the movie avoided the trope of the man, Kyle, freaking out because Evie told him a justifiable lie. Sometimes holiday movies rely on a small and innocuous act by the woman to be the erason for driving love away, then the man gets to be the hero by simply forgiving her. Very "Eve at the apple" type bullshit. BUT this film does NOT do that! Interestingly, another movie also about a Secret Santa philanthropist, RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS, also stars Hallmark stud Kevin McGarry, so he has a type, apparently. If you're only going to watch one rich-Secret-Santa flick, I'd go with this one, even though it does kind of drag on/is a bit boring (we need some real stakes, you guys!!).
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
A REASON FOR THE
SEASON (2024)
SYNOPSIS: A big city reporter goes to a small town to cover a family-owned toy factory, and finds herself connecting with the family's heir apparent when he proves to be more than meets the eye (what meets the eye is a hot pile of garbage).
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OUR THOUGHTS: This movie probably had a storyline but we were too distracted by the leading man's hair and make-up to notice. Apparently someone told the HMU team to make him look like a grown-up Stewart from MADTV, if that grown-up spray-painted his hair with silver paint from the dollar store. For those of you who don't get that reference, just know he looks BAD. Like we've seen in other Christmas flicks, our leading male attacks our leading lady for something that ultimately isn't her fault--in this case, her news piece gets edited by her boss, and the silver-haired crybaby blames the leading lady reporter for how he was portrayed, when she didn't even edit the piece!!! We'll say it louder for people in the back: FRAGILE MASCULINITY IS NOT A VALID CONFLICT. WRITE CHARACTERS WITH ACTUAL DEPTH. Bleh. Send back to Santa.
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA
REPORTING FOR CHRISTMAS
(2023)
SYNOPSIS: Two of Santa's elves desperate to save Christmas launch a campaign to grant everyday humans some Christmas magic, but they get more than they bargained for when their selected human wishes to cancel Christmas.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This may be our favorite Christmas film with holiday queen Rachel leigh Cook to date! We start off with perhaps too much character establishment to understand why she hates Christmas so much--kind of just ends up making her character feel very unlikable early on. We also wish her photography/art had been a bigger piece of the story throughout, but oh well! This was a super unique made-for-TV Christmas movie because instead of getting to see what the world would be like without our protagonist, or see what the world would be like if said protagonist had made a different choice etc., we see what the world would be like without CHRISTMAS. It had some very lovable Christmas magic, although the resolution did feel a bit cheap because they kind of just made up whatever world norms they needed to do to avoid conflict. Which was a bit annoying, but we still loved the world of Santa and his elves. This one coudl desever a rewatch next Christmas season!
RESCUING CHRISTMAS (2023)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A woman gets trapped in a time loop on the seventh night of Hanukkah and tries desperately to crack the mystery on how to get unstuck, thanks to some help from a few sci-fi nerds and her loving family.
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OUR THOUGHTS: Wow wow wow, what a treat this is! Now, granted, I know very few Hanukkah movies, but this is by far my favorite. It didn't even feel like a made-for-TV movie! It was funny, the pacing was ideal and kept you drawn in the whole film, the leads were adorable (Vic Michaelis is my actual girl crush!), and the magic of the time loop was totally believable--you know in a magical way. Even without any Christmas cheer, it still felt very festive! And if you want a quality extended family film, this is it! This movie did a great job of combining holiday, romance, mystery, comedy, and magical realism into one perfect little package to unwrap on the eighth night! This will be an annual rewatch, for sure--I want to watch it again RIGHT NOW!
ROUND AND ROUND (2023)
RATING: 5 STARS OF DAVID, TOP OF THE TREE
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ROYAL CHRISTMAS CRUSH, A
(2023)
SYNOPSIS: An American architect gets to work for the royal family of Fjörland's (only 30% this is the name of the fake Genovia in this movie) winter castle, and captures the Prince's eye...and heart.
OUR THOUGHTS: We travel to another wannabe-Genovia and meet another Christmas Prince in this movie, Hallmark's latest stab at the Merry Monarchy trope. And, boy, do we love it! With sweeping shots of the world-famous Ice Hotel and surrounding Scandinavia, as well as probably Canada, this movie REALLY gives us all the winter solstice vibes. It's by no means an original script: prince falls for commoner, there's another much more appropriate "noble" woman wanting his hand, selfish minions plot the demise of the commoner by spreading scandalous lies, commoner leaves...And we won't tell you the rest. We were missing some heartache when it came to our leading lady, who we wish had shown more emotional range, and we wish it had been a bit more festive, but that would not have played true to theme of a Scandinavian Christmas, so....it was fine.
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
ROYAL CHRISTMAS SURPRISE, A
(2023)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Prince Mandla and fiance Riley, our normal American leading lady, once again have their worlds collide as their in-laws try to plan the couple's engagement party together, leading to plenty of holiday royal-peasant tension.
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OUR THOUGHTS: This is actually a sequel to a non-holiday movie about bookstore owner Riley discovering her boyfriend is actually a PRINCE from South Africa, so it makes total sense to give them their own Christmas Prince movie! And Mandla might be our favorite Prince to date in a made-for-TV Christmas movie. This seems like it's going to be a repeat of the first movie, with Mandla's royal family clashing with Riley's American aunt and uncle, and then Mandla keeping a HUGE secret about his royal duties from Riley. Kind of like deja vu, to be honest...But still, we really love the high stakes and believable conflict, and buy into the insanity of marrying a prince. BUT there does seem to be a battle to keep this a Christmas-themed movie amidst the real conflict beats.
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SANTA BOOTCAMP (2022)
SYNOPSIS: In this fun and festive take on #cultlife, an event planner inadvertently joins a Christmas-themed cult to help her throw the holiday event of the year--but ends up finding love and the real meaning of Christmas.
OUR THOUGHTS: We LOVE this one! For so many reasons, not least of which because it takes place in Pasadena, one of our most favoriate magical places (even though it was filmed mostly in Tennessee). There's also a Christmas tree auction (an L.A. tradition), heroine of the stage and screen Rita Moreno, a sexy chef (mmm yes, chef!), and adorkable Santa Village costumes to really up the Christmas cheer. One of our favorite features of this movie was hearing-impaired characters and full ASL (American Sign Language) conversations. They were able to include differently-abled individuals without making the storyline solely about that. It fit right in. Apart from the whole crazy Cult Mother character in Belle, who is admittedly quite lovable as a cranky old coot, this movie should be a Christmas regular!
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
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SANTA CLASS, THE (2024)
SYNOPSIS: Kate unknowingly takes on the real Santa as a student at her family's "Santa School," and she must train this year's class of recruits to be the best yet lest they lose the big Santa competition to their rival school!
OUR THOUGHTS: Was happy to be swept right off my santa boots with this one! Centered around a failing Santa School and its neighboring arch nemesis Santa School, this movie's setting is pure snow and timber magic (it's almost like they didn't film it in July?). Hallmark superstars Kimberly Sustad and Benjamin Ayres show off their hilarious chemistry in this enemies-turned-lovers comedy, where they try to help an amnesia-plagued Santa Claus remember who he is. This flick is overflowing with Christmas cheer, and the magical realism is just magical enough to make us believe! There's even reindeer!! The real winner is Paul Campbell, playing a fictionalized version of himself, as a television actor looking to really get into character. Look out for his Hallmark Easter egg lines, such as "I'm the third wise man, Paul Campbell!" and "What do you mean they gave it to Andrew Walker??"
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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SANTA CON, THE (2014)
SYNOPSIS: A conman changes his ways by trying to grant a young boy's impossible Christmas wish of getting his parents back together.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie is problematic for a lot of reasons (most of them centered around a stranger meddling in the affairs of a family torn apart by addiction), but it has a lot of heart! And our male lead turned out not to win the female lead's heart in the end, which was a unique and unexpected twist. Also my former boss, Wendy Williams, makes an important appearance as the spiritual guide--unclear if she is alive or not? We also get a small bit role from Steve Urkel, and another from Melissa Joan Hart as a sassy sister helping her conman brother right his ways of the past. It's definitely a bit of a heavy watch, and doesn't have much Christmas cheer, so this is good viewing if you're into arson and the ups and downs of marriage.
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
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SANTA SUMMIT, THE (2023)
SYNOPSIS: A santa-themed bar crawl sets the scene for a missed connections love story, as two Santas (regular people dressed as Santa) meet and fall for each other, then lose each other, and spend the movie hoping for a Christmas miracle they find each other again.
OUR THOUGHTS: This is a very sweet will they-won't they with a very "now" premise--say good-bye to the dated and been there, done that "big city girl goes to small hometown for Christmas and falls in love" trope. This was a fresh take on the holiday romance, and we really liked it! Our leading lady is accompanied by two quirky friends who have their own love stories we follow, making for lots of action. There is a GREAT moment of self-love, as well, which we support! The only big thumbs down was at the big moment at the end, when two strangers really jumped the gun....but, that's pretty par for the Christmas course, yeah?
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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SANTA TELL ME (2024)
SYNOPSIS: Interior Designer/TV Star Olivia finds a magical letter from Santa telling her the name of her true love is Nick, and she meets three amazing Nicks the next day! But she must pick which one is THE one by Christmas, or risk losing out on her true love forever.
OUR THOUGHTS: Ever wanted to watch a movie with four identical white men and you're supposed to be able to tell them apart? WELL YOU. ARE. IN. LUCK. Olivia, played by Hallmark Sweetheart Erin Krakow, gets a twenty-year-overdue answer from Santa about the love of her life's name: Nick. But she instantly meets and falls for three different Nicks, who she then proceeds to date simultaneously and, boy, do they look like that meme of Hollywood's "Chris's." Olivia leads us on the most festive date montage we've ever seen, but it is hard to keep track of which Nick is which. Once you embrace the magical realism of Santa's obsession with a little girl's love life some 20 years later, this is a really fun rom-com, save for the identical parade of men, of course. We're giving it 3.5 stars, and recommending you check it out!
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: Holly's hometown is Noblesville, nearby to Carmel, so we can assume this is set in Central Indiana, which is where we are from! Coincidentally we hate Carmel. At any rate, Holly's family store (in Noblesville) is a great way into holiday tradition, and we never stopped getting Christmas vibes from this movie--if not for the elf and Santa costumes. We had the early promise of a love triangle, but that was too-easily resolved when sexy santa's girlfriend just kind of removed herself from the picture. And while this movie is littered with classic Jingle Jollies, like the family's business being at risk (damn you, big city store!!), there is a very clever and unexpected homage to Cinderella, hence the name "Santa's Boots." Overall, we liked the commitment to Christmas cliche, and the boots angle was a new one, so ten points for originality.
SANTA'S BOOTS (2018)
SYNOPSIS: A business exec steps in as an elf at her family's store when she returns home for Christmas, where she works alongside a sexy Santa.
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: "Sappy" is the perfect word for this movie, and we just adored it! It has all the Christmas cozies, and then some. New England in the winter, a quaint and rustic B&B, Great Grandpa's murder cabin in the woods, a big snowstorm, a hot farmer!?! WHO RESCUES A STRANDED MOTORIST WHEN HER CAR HITS A SNOW BANK? ARE YOU KIDDING US?!? This movie was well on its way to 3, maybe even 3.5, Christmas Stars, but a ridiculous gesture at the very end really threw us for a loop--way to go, James!
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SAPPY HOLIDAY (2022)
SYNOPSIS: A big city chef is on the way to her rich boyfriend's family Christmas in Vermont when roadway mishap leaves her stranded in the woods, only to be rescued and taken in by a maple syrup farmer and his family.
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: Set in the pristine Scottish highlands, this movie may not deliver a New England main street or a mall Santa village, but it is full of magic nonetheless. We get a bit of Outlander with Archaeologist Lucy looking for a hidden shrine/ancient stones. There's a ghost of a dead father causing all kinds of mayhem around a CASTLE that serves as a quaint country inn. And there's a generational family business at risk of being bought-out by a big corporate hot shot. This has all the making of a cozay Christmas romance, but you also get rugby and kilts! Yes, please!
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SAVING CHRISTMAS SPIRIT (2022)
SYNOPSIS: A grinchy archaeologist heads to Scotland to find a career-saving discovery, and ends up getting entangled in a local family's fight to save their family business.
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: This one was so unexpectedly delightful! While we were a bit unimpressed with the whole catalyst of this movie being that a mean best friend tells Carly her life sucks, we really loved the action beats of Carly and Wyatt, the trust fund nepo fuckboy manchild character, as they checked resolutions off Carly's list. It felt very festive and very relatable for all of us girl bosses out there, and we really loved the natural transition from enemies to friends to more-than-friends for Carly and Wyatt. We do wish more emphasis had been put on Carly's dress design so that the climactic moment felt more devastating. But the kiss at the end was va-va-voom! Really enjoyed this one!
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SYNOPSIS: Carly is forced by a pushy friend to change her life by completing some New Years resolutions, which she finally starts checking off the following December with the help of her office nemesis.
SEALED WITH A LIST (2023)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: Bonnie is tough to like, as she really radiates "trying too hard" energy. But she does grow on you when you start to realize she is just a perfecionist wanting to prove she has the business chops to be successful, and she totally does. As she shops for hot single dad and his gift list needs, the two's sexual tension builds, heightened only the hot single dad's Swiftie daughter's (we love a Swiftie) obsession with Bonnie. This movie starts to drag on at about the one-hour mark, with the only real conflict arising from a weird music teacher with a mullet, and it feels like Bonnie is obsessed with social media in a weird, never-had-real-friends way toward the end...but there are some lovable moments, like the awful blind date set up and the cringe karaoke duet in which Bonnie is genuinely awful. We love that authenticity--stop giving us karaoke duets where normal Americans are amazing singers! That's not how karaoke works! this movie wasn't awful, but we really can't stop wondering how much money people really spend on personal gift shoppers....like, it is living rent-free in our heads right now. The season is all about consumerism, baby!
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SECRET GIFT OF CHRISTMAS, THE (2023)
SYNOPSIS: Personal Gift Shopper Bonnie, who is constantly in monochromatic red ensembles, learns the true meaning of Christmas gifts when she is hired by a hot single Dad and his precocious daughter.
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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SECRETLY SANTA [original name: FALLING IN LOVE AT CHRISTMAS]
(2021)
SYNOPSIS: Two app developer rivals have to work together on a gifting app and fall in love.
OUR THOUGHTS: Not sure why this movie has two different names. It's not the only made-for-TV flick about a gifting app, but I do like the clever entry point for the always adorable enemies-to-lovers trope. I like that the female lead is just as talented a coder/app designer as the male, and this film really does make you wish there was an app that could just do your gift shopping for you. Lots of holiday vibes make this one a good cozy-up-with-cocoa when you need some cheesy Christmas romance!
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
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OUR THOUGHTS: We were not excited about this one, thinking it was going to be a super cheesy movie with a bunch of obnoxious kids. And while it did have kids, and it did lean hard into the emotional cheese, it wasn't as bad as we expected. The setting of a picturesque ski town in Utah really upped the Winter Wonderland vibes, so even if there wasn't constant Christmas, we still felt strong holiday cheer throughout. All the strings connecting our romantic leads got a bit annoying--like, does anyone else live here?--but we didn't have to memorize a bunch of characters in this overwhelming homogenous town. There were really only two solid storylines carrying you through the film, making it drag a bit in Act 2, but again, it isn't the most awful orphan movie we've ever seen.
SEASON FOR FAMILY, A (2023)
SYNOPSIS: Two loser boys discover become each other's best (and only) friends, and by an insane Christmas coincidence, turn out to be biological brothers.
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
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SYNOPSIS: A famous mystery writer is kidnapped and forced to write one more novel by Christmas, while her kidnapper leads the world to believe she is dead.
OUR THOUGHTS: We do appreciate the aggrandized and exhausting attempt at suspense and danger. We get it. But this movie is very lite on both of those elements, and has even less Christmas and murder in it. There's really nothing here worth sticking around for, unless you like wondering the whole time if two of the female leads are related or not. We were hoping that, as a Lifetime flick, they'd at least have some real outlandish and gasp-worthy moments, but alas...this movie relied on retro moves like stealing a letter opener and being handcuffed to a bed in the basement. Yaaawwnnnn.
SILENT NIGHT, FATAL NIGHT
(2023)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO
SANTA
SINCERELY, TRULY CHRISTMAS (2023)
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie is a real charmer!! Very happily surprised by it. Right off the bat, we've got some real Midwest Dad action. Christina's parents are visiting from Columbus, OH, and her Dad is caulking the fireplace insert on his big trip to the city. Love the authenticity. Christina then proceeds to get fired in the first five minutes of the film, which, chef's kiss. And we seal the deal on this being a REAL made-for-TV Christmas movie with Christina's wish on a Christmas star ornament: Christina wishes people would just say what they truly want! Her wish comes true...sort of. Overall, the magic of this movie, Christina being able to learn what everyone wants for Christmas, is not really logically connected to Christina's hero conflict of radical honesty. At least not at FIRST: this movie is a clever treatment about what we want and what we really want. Christina's newly gained Christmas power leads to an endearing partnership between Christina and hot single dad Robert that gets them both out of sticky situations. Plus it includes some great moments: a "Liar, Liar" homage, a nod to the Feast of the Seven Fishes, and an awkward impromptu chorale performance at the end. But you should watch this flick specifically for Uncle Pete, who is the reason for the season.
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SYNOPSIS: Radically honest Christina, frustrated with people's lack of transparency, makes a Christmas wish to know what everyone truly wants, but this Christmas gift gets Christina in over her head in love and career!
SINGLE ALL THE WAY (2021)
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS, TOP OF THE TREE
SYNOPSIS: Home for Christmas, an adult son is set up on a date by his fabulous Mother with a hot local, but love and his family have other plans for his romantic future...
OUR THOUGHTS: Is this the greatest made-for-TV Christmas Movie of all time? While we can't ever give just one film that accolade, this one is definitely in the running. When his boyfriend turns out to be a cheater, a son brings his best friend home for the holidays as his plus-one instead. With riotous cast of wacky family members including Jennifer Coolidge as an over-the-top theatrical goddess, and scorchingly attractive male leads in a sexy love triangle, there is literally NOTHING wrong with this movie. MUST-WATCH.
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SNOW SISTER (2024)
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: After the death of older sister Juni, Julian befriends a strange redheaded girl who helps him find the magic of Christmas and family.
OUR THOUGHTS: (TW: child death) This movie for real broke my brain. Leave it to the Scandinavians to make the msot magical yet depressing yet joyful Christmas movie EVER. This Nordic film follows Julian, a young boy celebrating his first Christmas after the death of his older sister Juni. A Latchkey ginger girl with far too much trust of strangers named Hedwig befriends Julian in the days before Christmas. This movie feels dark yet still enchanting and, wow, the heartache! You can feel it. You wish this poor family could just have their eldest kid back because wtf it's CHRISTMAS. There's just enough mystery about little weirdo Hedwig to push the movie along--is she an imaginary friend? An assassin? Juni's spirit? What is HAPPENING? This movie is a beautiful tribute to siblings, who are our true soulmates, and how we carry the spirits of those we've lost. Because it's in Norway and set around Christmas time, it feels very Christmas-y...until suddenly it doesn't. It goes from Santa to Krampus real quick. Then to the most beautiful and heartwrenching but also heartwarming thing you've ever seen. This movie had me confused, bawling, laughing out loud, and looking up Digital Nomad visas in Norway. Please go watch it, but be prepared! AND HIS BIRTHDAY IS CHRISTMAS EVE.
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SNOWGLOBE (2007)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Obsessed with the ideal Christmas (and true love to boot!), Angela gets more than she bargained for when she wakes up living in a Christmas village...inside a Snowglobe!
OUR THOUGHTS: Oldie but a goodie. Christina Milian has some serious OCD--Obsessive Christmas Disorder, and can't chill when her chaotic family won't get on-board for the "perfect" holiday. Her fam also won't get off her back about being single, another major dilemma in her life. By some Christmas miracle, Angela wakes up to find herself living in one of her favorite Christmas decorations, her snowglobe! This movie delivers a very whimsical dose of holiday escapism, and some hilarious fish-out-of-water scenes when her snowglobe boyfriend comes back to the real world.
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SO FLY CHRISTMAS (2023)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Two best friends quit romance when one of them gets stood up at her Christmas wedding, but by next Christmas, their friendship vow of being "done with love" could spell the end of their friendship, and love, for both of them.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie had us glued to the screen from the first scene, when two awesome best friends get married after one of them, Wyvetta, gets stood up at the altar. Turns out Wyvetta and Dione, the best friends, are podcast hosts together, and they are a hilarious and heartwarming duo. Then, as if that isn't enough, Clarence is about the hottest male lead we've yet to see in one of these films. Like, can that actor call me? Now? Some of the romance moments were a bit cheesy, and it was kind of hard to understand why a grown woman was so scared to tell her best friend she had found a man that made her happy. That all felt a little childish. BUT we did love the earnest resolutions at the end, even if the conflict itself wasn't as fraught with tension as the movie wanted us to believe. We genuinely laughed out loud multiple times throughout this movie, and Di and Wy's friendship is something to envy. And amen for Clarence.
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SPRUCES AND THE PINES, THE (2017)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: The Capulets and Montagues of family tree farms (aptly the Spruce family and the Pine family) see their feud come to a head when their star-crossed children end start falling for one other--or "felling" for one another, because trees! HAHAHA!
OUR THOUGHTS: What this movie lacks in cheesy Christmas cheer, it certainly makes up for in well-developed story. Yanked right from the pages of Romeo and Juliet, this movie is the holiday twist on the classic star-crossed lovers trope, but without the suicide. We love the backdrop of feuding tree farms, and ancillary storylines and characters give us plenty of beats to keep our eyes glued to the screen and rooting for love (and Christmas) to win. We've got a prank war, a dead mom, and a love triangle all buried within this multilayered movie--you almost don't even notice the overexposed and under-balanced B-shots! This is a GREAT movie for that cozy Christmas romance vibe!
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SPIRITED (2023)
RATING: 5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds star in this musical continuation of the Scrooge-iverse, where a friendly spirit must "save" a terrible human by showing him the error of his evil ways.
OUR THOUGHTS: Yes. To all of it. Give me more of this.
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STEPPIN' INTO THE HOLIDAY (2022)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Big shot Hollywood dancer Mario Lopez gets fired and goes to his small hometown to help the hot dance teacher put on a Christmas talent show.
OUR THOUGHTS: Mario Lopez doesn't miss a beat with 2022's Christmas film. This ultimate hometown hero flick has Mario's small town's best dancer, himself, return home and find his big city Hollywood heart of stone wanting to do some holiday philanthropy. How? By casting himself as the STAR in the up-and-coming dance recital meant for the children dancers to perform, not the old-as-shit washed up Hollywood B-listers. But hey, it's Christmas, right? There's also a hot dance teacher to woo, so step to it, Mario! Despite my snark, I actually did like this one. Dancing is very festive, great for the Christmas vibin', and there are real stakes involved as Mario's Hollywood career is teetering on the verge of tanking. This one is worth a viewing, for sure.
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STONE COLD CHRISTMAS (2018)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A modern day Scrooge gets a blast from the past when her ex shows up at her office, setting off a Dickens-esque chain of events that forces her to re-examine her life and attitdue toward the holidays, love, and family.
OUR THOUGHTS: So initially, we were very confused by the pacing of this film. Acts 1 and 2 go hard with the Scrooge narrative, with a lot of time dedicated to showing Mia is the worst person alive, a heavy focus on Ghost of Christmas Present, and a rushed montage for Ghost of Christmas Past. But we loved that the Dickens beats are so nuanced and don't hit you over the head, yet still deliver on the message. Then, after Scrooge, aka Mia, comes around, we've got an explosive Act 3 that is a massive bombshell on its own. This movie is the Christmas gift that keeps giving! It had us in literal ugly tears! Of course, the Act 3 revelation is a lot of telling, not showing, but we forgive it. This is classic Christmas on all fronts and deserves a viewing--if only to gawk at our male lead alone! DAMN! AND TABITHA BROWN IS IN IT!!!!
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SUGARPLUMMED (2024)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Emily wishes fantastical Christmas movie character Sugarplum into the real world to help her have a perfect Christmas, but Sugarplum's magic ends up wreaking havoc on Emily's holiday.
OUR THOUGHTS: This is another meta made-for-TV Christmas movie, where the main character (in this case Emily) finds themselves living out a real life made-for-TV Christmas movie, or some version of it. And we are HERE FOR IT. In this case, instead of a normie being transported to a magical Christmas movie (like A CHRISTMAS MOVIE CHRISTMAS or WAKING UP TO CHRISTMAS), a whimsical Christmas movie character and her holiday magic is transported to the real world. This festive and, dare I say adorable, movie stars overly-confident Sugarplum, aka Sue Garplum, who is transported from her home of "Perfection" and wished into the real world by Emily, who is yearning to give her family an amazing Christmas, just like her mother did for her. The movie starts off a bit weak, with all the pressure of a perfect Christmas imposed on Emily by herself and no one else. And with her two kids being such disappointments, we get it…kind of? But this quirky flick really gets going when Sue's “Christmas Rules” all of a sudden stop working in the real world, and all her goodwill Christmas deeds start producing some serious ramifications. It’s up to Emily to resurrect Christmas with her family by embracing the perfect imperfections. A very cute watch, definitely could merit a re-watch next year!
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SWEET CHRISTMAS ROMANCE, A
(2019)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A reality baking show puts up a local bakery as the prize, luring in two hometown bakers: one a woman who left the town for the big city and is coming back for the bakery, and the other a hometown boy who has stayed and been baking the whole time. WHO WILL WIN!?!?
OUR THOUGHTS: So this movie did not leave much of an impression, other than they really zoom through the actual filming of the baking show. We didn't super hate this one, but it also didn't capture our hearts. It's...fine? But we really need to stop giving entire businesses as prizes in this competitions--like that is not a great business plan.
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TAKE ME BACK FOR CHRISTMAS
(2023)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Rene wishes for a new life when a strange elf gives her a magical bell, and she gets a glimpse at how things would have turned out if she had chosen herself instead of a dumb boy.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie is a little strange in that it kind of is set up like you either get to be with the love of your life....or your Mom is dead. It has fake Gretchen Weiners in it, Vanessa Lengies (legit always thought she was Lacey Chabert), who does one of the more convincing jobs of someone who wakes up in an alternate Christmas reality. We really loved sassy elf CC and her splashy red convertible. There was a really emotional scene toward the end that made us want our Mommy really bad, and we kind of wish Rene had chosen short hair life instead of long hair life but whatever.
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TALE OF TWO CHRISTMASES, A
(2022)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A woman lives out two possible christmases, one with a childhood friend in her hometown, and another with new crush in the big city.
OUR THOUGHTS: This film uses a last-minute holiday flight as an entry point for our leading lady to see how her life would have turned out if she got on the flight...or didn't. Unlike other "dueling life paths" Christmas flicks, we aren't going back in time to a pivotal choice that may have lead her to having a totally different life, but instead magically looking into the future to see how life would pan out if she got on the plane, finding love with a lifelong small town friend, or if she misses the plane, finding love with a big city flame.
THREE WISE MEN AND A BABY (2022)
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Three adult brothers become temporary caregivers of a mystery baby during Christmas, and have to band together to try and win a holiday decorating contest.
OUR THOUGHTS: My first time seeing this CLASSIC TV Christmas movie was the extended cut, and I immediately understand why this is such a widely-loved Hallmark standby. We're gonna look beyond the weirdness of a baby being left at a fire station to one of it's firefighters, and go right to the lovability of the three brothers--all whom suffer from major Peter Pan Syndrome. Their loving Matriarch acknowledges her own potential failure in raising three man children, we love the self-awareness. Though simple and archetypal, the clean-cut character conflicts of the three brothers are clearly set up and resolved in an organic timeline throughout the film. The comedy and authentic bantor of the brothers makes this feel like a real family, and even the villain of Mark McClark is likable! This is one we recommend making a regular of your Christmas line-up.
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THREE WISER MEN AND A B0Y (2024)
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Our favorite brothers return for another Christmas filled with hijinks and hilarity as they are placed in charge of son/nephew Thomas' elementary school Christmas play.
OUR THOUGHTS: The long-awaited sequel to one of Hallmark's BEST Christmas comedies, "Three Wise Men and a Baby" has finally arrived--and it DID NOT disappoint. Our three favorite manboy brothers return, this time with the adorable nephew/son Thomas as their fourth musketeer. We even have returns from Mark LaClark and the ER doctor played by Kimberly Sustad. This movie, like the first, was a comedic joy with relatable family conflicts that don't feel too outlandish or too small. The theater kid in all of us loved seeing the brothers pull off another spectacular Holiday revue, this time an Aldi-brand version of "The Grinch." Lovable Mom gave the most heart-wrenching speech about wanting to find her own life and her own identity beyond just being a Mother, and we LOVED hearing this ugly and often unspoken truth in a Hallmark movie!!! Moms are whole ass humans, not just caregivers! We see continued grown-up growth from the "we three sons" in this sequel, but not without some serious growing pains, first. An easy 4.5 stars! If you're looking for repeat films to fill up your holiday viewing calendar, we recommend this and its prequel!
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THROWBACK HOLIDAY (2018)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A woman wishes to do-over her high school choices, and she gets the chance at a whole new life--which does mean she no longer has two children she never liked in the first place, and has other kids she likes more. She also basically doesn't remember the past 20 years of the life she now has....it's kind of a major plot hole.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie didn't have a lot to do with Christmas, but it does have its won SONG, with the same title as the movie itself. This life do-over story takes us back to high school in the early 2000s, one of the worst places on earth, and gives us all those high school tropes: popular cheerleaders, nerds who are hot beneath huge glasses, a sassy best friend, a Harvard acceptance letter, a big high school dance with dresses made of crepe paper! Of all the "alternate realities" Christmas movies, this one REALLY packed some punches, because her life really changed. My favorite part of this movie, though, was that it was basically all about giving young women agency over their bodies so they aren't trapped in a pregnancy or marriage they don't want. It also shows us that EVERYONE deserves healthcare--her Mom didn't go the hospital because she didn't want another debt, and it almost killed her!!! So, lite on Christmas, but heavy on positive messaging. Here for it.
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'TIS THE SEASON TO BE
IRISH (2024)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: American Rose buys a rundown cottage in Ireland with the hopes to flip it, but local preservationist Sean blocks her at every turn. He is kind of a dick.
OUR THOUGHTS: While we hate the idea of Americans taking their gentrification bullshit abroad, the concept of villages selling old cottages for cheap is a big play for European locales, from Sicily to Scotland. Off the bat you want to hate Rose for trying to profit off Ireland's history like some American investor scum, but she grows on you throughout the movie—especially given what bad shape her new cottage is in. You can’t help but feel bad for her. Then you get bored with her. Then annoyed. Then you stop caring and start doom scrolling through Tiktok. Then you look up at a random point in the movie and there’s a woman crying and hugging an urn and you’re like wait, what is happening? Ultimately this Ireland Christmas romance in Ireland wasn’t quite Irish enough…or Christmas-y enough…or romantic enough. Perhaps if there had been more chemistry between the leads it would have been a better watch, but...this one had me singing tu-ra-loo-ra-loser.
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TWAS THE CHAOS BEFORE CHRISTMAS (2019)
RATING: 4 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Two polar opposite families double-book the same rental home for Christmas, forcing them to spend the holidays together. Chaos ensues.
OUR THOUGHTS: This premise, though so simple and timely, is really original and we loved it. Helmed by comedy geniuses Sherri Shepherd and Affion Crockett, this cast was exceptional in both their chemistry and comedic timing. There did feel like a lot was packed in, given the massive amount of characters we're following, but no arcs dropped off along the way, and we were tuned in the whole time. Even with all the storylines, we still got a good amount of Christmas cheer, though it isn't the holliest or jolliest of Christmas movies on this list. It is a great one to watch with the family, as it hits a lot on how there is no one way to Christmas, or one way to parent. Definitely worth at least one watch, if not more!
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TIME FOR HER TO COME HOME
FOR CHRISTMAS (2023)
RATING: HALF A CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: A musician is hired by a small town church as their holiday choir director, only to discover her true family during Christmas.
OUR THOUGHTS: This feels a lot like a propaganda film you'd watch at a mega church's summer camp...I think there's like 14 of this "time for ____ to come home for christmas" movies, and this one leaned heavily into military, church, and long-lost family. All good themes, but it kind of felt like the white version of Sister Act. Now I know what you're thinking: Isn't Sister Act the white version of Sister Act? Well, this one is whiter, and it stars an adult version of Millie Bobby Brown in a bad Winona Ryder wig. Between the church choir, the original composition, and the cyborg military boy who has definitely killed innocent civilians with his bare hands, there's something for everyone to enjoy!!! Plus bonus points for the strong Christmas vibes throughout.
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TIMELESS CHRISTMAS, A (2020)
RATING: 1 CHRISTMAS STAR
SYNOPSIS: An inventor from 1903 gets a hold of a magical clock that sends him over a century into the future at Christmas, where he falls for the curator of a museum that is all about him!
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie is great for traditional Christmas vibes and small town coziness, but it definitely isn't the most enrapturing of films. We found ourselves losing interest once the initial shock of the time travelling man from the 20th century wore off. There are some fun fish-out-of-water moments for our poor Mr. Whitley (the accidental time traveller), but for the most part we weren't really sure what the movie was working toward. There was no real clarity as to whether he needed or wanted to go back, or if he even could. It was more about how our leading lady was literally weirdly obsessed with this dead man (her entire Ph.D thesis was about him and his life) and then she got to kiss him and keep him forever as a little gentleman doll...Weird, but, ok?
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TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT (2023)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A man who cannot maneuver a motorcycle crashes his bike and is saved by a woman who, in her haste to keep him alive, promises to marry him on Christmas. They then realize they are connected by fate in more than just this way.
OUR THOUGHTS: This definitely has the heavier vibes of the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channels--the type of Christmas movie meant for older women who need some real heavy shit to make them feel ALIVE, the type who chug crime romance novels like water laced with percocet. So, once you accept you're in THAT world, and not the light and fluffy world of a traditional Hallmark Christmas movie, you're ready to watch this. We don't HATE this movie, it has redeeming moments, but we aren't planning on watching it again any time soon...or ever. The leading lady is a journalist with a dead dad and the leading man is a rich fuckboy that they should have had standing on apple boxes throughout--Short King Spring is OVER. There is the attempt to build a mystery in how our leading lady and man are truly connected, but there aren't enough building blocks or connecting dots to keep us interested. Everything kind of comes out in one scene, so the actual movie really only needs to be about seven minutes long--the rest is just hot air. Those seven minutes though, have a very heartwarming story about a rando writing letters to military members.
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TRADING UP CHRISTMAS
(2024)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: On a mission to find her sister new housing by Christmas, Michelle ambitiously partakes on a series of barters to go from an old Christmas stocking to a whole-ass house.
OUR THOUGHTS: Damn, Daniel. You're hot.
This is the christmas version of that story about the girl who traded a bobby pin and eventually ended up with a house--and it's actually quite cute! I was not expecting much based on the plot, but hot Journalist Dan and eager trader Michelle surprised me. What didn't surprise me was the lack of affordable housing in the greater Boston area, especially for a single Mom. The trading up narrative drove the movie forward, and there is just enough romance sprinkled in to make you believe that maybe you CAN find love IRL...Apart from ogling Dan, I spent most of the movie being annoyed at the shithead Dad, who was focused on getting a new boat while his daughter was about to become homeless...but that plotline eventually sorted itself out. You may find Michelle and her sister a little bit out of touch with the real world of adulting, but if you can look beyond that, this is a fun watch--if only for the line "I've sat on your face before." HEY OH, HALLMARK! LOOK OUT!
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TRIVIA AT ST. NICK'S (2024)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: When the jocky football coach joins her sacred Christmas Trivia team, Celeste's holiday plans (and her heart) are thrown for a loop.
OUR THOUGHTS: Professor Celeste has an unhealthy obsession with trivia, and the Christmas Trivia is the biggest event of the year for university staff. A hot guy named STAN once won this trivia competition, so it's a very big deal for these nerdy professors. This movie is not quite enemies-to-lovers trope, but definitely has some comical friction between the jocky coach Max and dorky astronomy nerd Celeste--it's the classic golden retriever-black cat match up. One of my favorite parts of this flick was that the "bad guys" was a trivia team of underpaid, overworked, probably neurodivergent T.A.'s, who were exacting revenge on their professor overlords. This movie starts off really strong, but fails to deliver real stakes with real meaning--a trivia tournament isn't enough to warrant Celeste's total meltdown, and let me not really caring about her romance with Max. Honestly, she doesn't deserve him.
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'TWAS THE DATE BEFORE
CHRISTMAS (2024)
RATING: 1.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Jessie convinces Brian to go on their first date to her wacky family Christmas so the holiday's festivities don't end up cancelled--only to learn that she and Brian are already connected in a not-so-great way.
OUR THOUGHTS: Inspired by a true story?? Tell me more! So this movie relies on the age-old trope of "lied to my family about having a date for the family Christmas," and we whole-heartedly feel the best movie in this space continues to be HOLIDAY IN HANDCUFFS. We really love how this film leans into the weird, with both our leading lady and lad being fully on-board for posing as an established couple for the family. It feels like a comical version of GET OUT, where an unsuspecting person shows up to meet the family but instead of the family being like, "we're gonna murder you and wear your skin," THIS family is like "we're gonna unnecessarily make you compete in a bunch of games." There's real tension put in when we learn that Brian, our blind date who seems too good to be true, is actually an evil property developer trying to evict Jessie's (leading lady) sister-in-law from her business location.
Now the action of this film all takes place in a single day, which can easily make a movie feel low-stakes and too small. To compensate for that this flick threw in a dead husband and a weird outburst from Jessie's brother, and things ended up getting really discombobulated during what was meant to be the height of conflict, but really just became the height of "ummm....what is going on?" What was meant to be our big resolution moment is just disconnected from the actual conflict of Jessie's sad romantic past. A candle store is not gonna fix a broken heart, my guy.
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At any rate, this movie is ok--it gets really dark in a really weird way at a really weird point in the story but resurrects itself for a clumsy race to the finish line. If you're planning on passing out at about the hour mark, this is a GREAT flim for you!
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UNDERCOVER HOLIDAY (2022)
RATING: 2 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Latina pop singer starts getting creepy stalker notes, and has to bring a bodyguard with her everywhere--including home for the holidays, where their relationship grows into something more.
OUR THOUGHTS: This movie had a lot of fun surprises, not least of which was a leading lady with curves! The white male bodyguard gets a dose of Latin-American Christmas celebrations, as does the majority-white Hallmark audience. We learn about luminaria, nativity displays, tamales, and more--all while wondering if our pop star is gonna get murdered by the post-it note-leaving bandit. This holiday version of Bodyguard is a fun and jolly holiday love story with perfect amounts of verboten romance with coworkers and family Christmas frivolity.
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VERY ENGLISH CHRISTMAS, A
(2023)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO
SANTA
SYNOPSIS: An event planner is planning her sister's pending Christmas wedding as an excuse to secure an overseas client, instead of just, you know, going to her sister's wedding.
OUR THOUGHTS: If you're looking for a Christmas movie that feels very english, this title will definitely confuse you. Other than some British accents, this movie did NOT feel English at all. Most scenes are so blown out it feels like you're watching a Sears family catalogue. It's very hard to get onboard with liking the leading lady, given her heavy-handedness of using her sister's wedding to forward her own career in event planning. And maybe I missed something but the wedding dress in the fitting and the wedding dress in the ceremony are two different dresses....? There was no real stakes or conflict, so no real climax or resolution. Storylines are supposed to arc, and form a hill shape. This one was flat, stagnant, and so boring. Bleh bleh bleh. Can I get those 90 minutes of my life back?
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VERY MERRY BEAUTY SALON, A
(2024)
RATING: .5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Salon owner Sienna is the guest of honor at the big Tinsel Ball, but the ball's new co-sponsor (a handsome entrepreneur) is offering new money and new traditions that are shaking up Sienna and her community.
OUR THOUGHTS: Tia Mowry stars opposite her long-running boyfriend from SISTER, SISTER, but instead of Tyreke, his name is Lawrence. And Lawrence is trying to step out of the shadows of his overbearing father to run the family wine company. This movie had good intentions, focusing on community bonds at Christmas, small business ownership, and drinking wine...but it really just ended up being very very boring. There was no real conflict between Lawrence and Sienna, so when they reunited at the end I was just like...OK? I admit I may not be the audience for this, so take my half-Christmast-star with a grain of salt.
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VERY VERMONT CHRISTMAS, A
(2024)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Craft Brewer Joy tries to save her dead dad's brewery with a new holiday IPA, but her ex-boyfriend and all-around-bad guy may stop her from winning the holiday brewing contest AND winning the heart of hot fancy beer man Zac.
OUR THOUGHTS: We love the idea of a woman-owned brewery, but as is the case in Christmas world, she only has it because of a Dead dad. The meet-cute is also far from original: a collision on the ski slopes. And the leading man's veneers are whiter than the snow--he's a real ski CHOMP-ion. Just kidding he sucks at skiing. A sentimental snow globe is introduced in the first ten minutes, so we can safely assume that's gonna shatter at some point. This movie focuses heavily on the "brewing" romance between Zac and JOY (Christmas-themed names, check!), and has plenty of Christmas cheer on tap. It is a bit weird when Joy gives Nick, a training Cicerone (a beer sommelier) a tour of her brewery, like he doesn't know what wort is...but,we have a feisty love triangle mixed in with big business vs small town mom-and-pop rivalry, so there's plenty of tension keeping the story moving along. At the end it's revealed Zac's name is "Zac Chad" and he is a craft beer nepo baby so no surprise there. At any rate, one of the better cheesey love stores in the Christmas sphere to watch!
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WAKING UP TO CHRISTMAS
(2023)
RATING: 3.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A high-powered marketing executive who hates Christmas hits her head and wakes up inside a cheesy made-for-TV Christmas movie, and must find her own Christmas spirit before the creepy Santa murders her.
OUR THOUGHTS: We start off HOT with our Jingle Jollies. First, our leading lady, Emily, loses her boyfriend in a brutal break up--executed by her though, which we LOVE. Dump the loser, sis! Emily is a marketing executive, hates Christmas, is stranded in a small Christmas town by a BIG STORM on her way to Bali, and gets knocked unconscious into a parallel reality where she is LIVING in the cheesy made-for-TV Christmas movie world she HATES--and we love! This movie is mega-meta, and we are here for it. We are NOT here for the creepy stalker Santa who keeps popping up. Literally terrifying. Once Emily gets rolling in her very own Christmas movie, it's all tongue-in-cheek and quirk, but there is still genuine investment in this small town's Festivity Faire, which must be saved!!! It really hits a high note with Emily's musical number about why she hates musicals. It was very strange that Emily never "wakes up" and goes back to her real life in the real world...but did we care? No! If you're ready to lean into the camp of Christmas movies, this is IDEAL for you!
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WESLEY CHRISTMAS, A (2022)
RATING: 2.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Brian and Sylvia have their whole family over for Christmas, but each member is battling their own life struggles while trying to get through the holidays. Can they rely on each other to get through the hard times?
OUR THOUGHTS: Aunt Glo is the icon we all need. Let's just say that first. This is the first installation of the Wesley Family Christmas saga, and I'm glad the canon is expanding: The Wesleys are a lovable bunch of drama kings and queens. There is a large cast in this one, each with their own subplots, but this film does a really good job of keeping you on track with who's who and what's what. Just make sure you really pay attention in the first 15 minutes because they solidly introduce and lay out the whole family tree. BUT if you miss that, you're gonna be lost the rest of the movie. And Sylvia and Brian's conflict isn't introduced until way late in the movie, which made things feel a little out of whack, tension-wise. This movie does a good job of showing the importance of the family unit (especially women and the strength from their mothers, aunts, sisters, etc.). This movie does put more emphasis on the family relationship drama than on Christmas, but the moments that are holiday-centric are SUPER jolly. And while I was ready for the men to disappoint me (the movie made it seem like they all would), the final ten minutes really showed the Wesley men coming up golden. I don't know if this is an annual rewatch, but it is a movie you won't regret sitting down for.
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WHERE ARE YOU, CHRISTMAS?
(2023)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Big city girl Addy is granted a wish by an app Santa (?) for Christmas to have never existed, and if she doesn't right her wrong, she could stay in Black and White forever! I know, it's weird!
OUR THOUGHTS: This magical realism twist is fun and creative: everyone who doesn't believe in Christmas is in black and white. After Addy makes a wish that Christmas never existed, the whole world is black and white, but as she spreads Christmas cheer, the color (and life!) of the world starts to come back, and with it the memory of Christmas. There was a major cheap cheat as she "accepted" the magic of her situation, citing "ocam's razor" as the reason she believed an 8-bit Santa clip-art had cast the spell. We applaud the meta lines like "New Year's movies aren't a thing! Christmas movies are a thing!" and "it's like one of those Christmas movies!" Overall this was a very cheerful movie, with a good amount of Christmas Magic. If you can overlook the attempted allegory about not being so phone-obsessed, and not constantly think of "race" when they talk about "color," this is a good watch!
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WINDOW WONDERLAND (2013)
RATING: 3 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: Two low-level window dressers at a major department store vie for the same promotion in a window decorating competition for the ages.
OUR THOUGHTS: The old department store window displays are a dying art form, but this film pays homage to the glory of those life-size dioramas that oozed Christmas excess along every major city block. And we loved it. Our parents used to take us downtown to see the big Christmas window displays, and this film recreated the magic of those reveals, peppering in the perfect love triangle, mystery connections, and a pixie cut that W-E-R-K-S. We also get an overnight lockdown, a few food fights, and a sweet mistletoe kiss. I would even watch a sequel to this one!
WINTER WEDDING (2017)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS, SEND BACK TO SANTA!
SYNOPSIS: A man gaslights a woman into thinking it's her fault their wedding is fucked.
OUR THOUGHTS: Where to even start with this garbage. So, this young couple want to get married, and they want to do it in a ridiculously quick time frame. So like, nothing is going right, because they're trying to plan a wedding in 47 seconds, and I'm pretty sure they're 19 years old. The only good thing about this movie is that it is filmed in Big Bear. Anyway, it all comes to a breaking point when the groom guilts the bride into thinking their rushed wedding won't work and it's all her fault and it's just absolute misogyny and red pill insanity. AND SHE STILL FUCKING MARRIES HIM!!! Like. WOW. NEVER WATCH THIS.
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WORLD RECORD CHRISTMAS
(2023)
RATING: 4.5 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A boy tries to break a the Guinness world record for stacking Jenga blocks, hoping to rally support from his absent bio dad.
OUR THOUGHTS: We were fully ready to hate on this movie, expecting a stereotypical and cheap take on neuro-divergence. Boy were we proven WRONG. This flick is so heartwarming, well written, beautifully acted, and not at all cheap or stereotypical. We love that Charlie, our autistic star, is played by an actor authentically on the spectrum. We also love that Charlie's family is so relatable, with a stepdad "stepping" up as a real father figure, and a Mom uncertain about having a second kid. We hate that so many people are pressuring her to pop out a child, though. We've got plenty of Christmas cheer, and just the right amount of heartstring-tugging conflict. I'll admit it, I teared up! This needs to be a must-watch for all fams!
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YOUR CHRISTMAS OR MINE? (2022)
RATING: 0 CHRISTMAS STARS
SYNOPSIS: A couple try to surprise each other for Christmas, but end up at each other's family christmases--alone!
OUR THOUGHTS: REVIEW TBD
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